Wednesday, September 03, 2008

False Allegations

Have I mentioned Ruthie has been picked on at school lately? She comes home every day for about 2 weeks and complains that a little girl, N, is picking on her. It has gotten worse and worse and no matter what we suggest it continues. Last Friday, she came home terrified this child had told her she knew where she lived and was going to come here and beat her up. I comforted her all weekend, reassured her the child couldn't get here and that we would protect her.

I wrote a note asking the teacher to look into it. I knew better than to attack the other child and to leave room for the idea that my child had taken part in the drama. I get a call from the Principal and was informed the true story. Unfortunately, it makes sense and my child has manipulated and lied. She told the man that she had never been threatened and she wasn't scared. Here's what I was told by the Principal and (Ruthie).

Ruthie and N were friends last year and have continued to play on the playground together this year. (N was mean to her last year, too.) Many of the kids play Tag and chase each other around trying to tag another child, making them It. (N chases her and calls her names on the playground.) Ruthie was tagged by N some time ago and N laughed that she was It. (N calls her names and makes fun of her.) This made Ruthie mad and she refused to play claiming N was rude to her. (She frequently complains about her siblings, they aren't being fair or they are mean to her and quits when it is her turn to reciprocate.) This happened every time Ruthie was tagged and N started getting upset with her b/c she wasn't playing fair. (Ruthie wanted to get N in trouble so she lied about her. The story got bigger and bigger every day waiting for N to get in trouble.)

At least I knew better than to jump to her defense and make a huge fool of myself. It does make me terribly sad that I have more faith in any other child's story. I hope the school remembers this when she makes allegations about me.


Lisa said...

You rock Tudu!

Torina said...

Lovely. Tara does this approximatly every other week during the school year. The worst was when she came home with a HUGE bruise on her shoulder and said that so-and-so (who happens to be African American - keep in mind that Tara came to us VERY racist) pushed her shoulder into the ground on purpose. Turns out Tara tripped over her own shoes. They got it on video. Brat. We have a letter from her AT saying that she makes false allegations. She also nearly sent her last adoptive family to prison. OY. Whole other story but I won't go there.

momma-o-minnie said...

Like torina, I got something in writing from my therapist, and made copies - one for the school and one I carried in my purse at all times - so that when my little darling made allegations, I could whip that note out and thrust it in the face of the principal/police/nosey neighbor/whoever came to the defense of my "precious" RADish and protect my family.
I would strongly (NOTICE the word strongly) suggest you get a note from your AT that states that your daughter makes false allegations and make copies, and destribute them liberally. CYOA. (Consider them as wallpaper!???)