My Son is Losing Control

My son has gotten progressively worse since school started back. He embarrassed his sisters and I at the OT Clinic yesterday and trust me that is difficult to do at this satge in the game. I am just tired of restraining him. He needs to be held and will go to great lengths to get me to do so.

I contacted the school for the 2nd time about having a meeting to meet his SID (Sensory Integration Dysfunction) needs. His teacher, I am sure by her reaction or lack of, thinks I am a crazy person and tried to put me off on the Assistant Principal. I was pleased b/c I have met her and she is aware we have special issues. I called her and she jumped right on board. She is willing to put together an emergency IEP meeting and see what they can do to help. I think I am going to have a problem with implementing the sensory equipment in class b/c his sensory issues do not effect his education which is part of the requirement. It is however destroying our family so hopefully they will be sympathetic.

My goal is to discuss this issue and a possible move to a contained classroom like his sisters. He is currently pulled out of 1st grade for the maximum time in a Resource class. He is 7 yrs old and can not recognize any Sight Words, most of the alphabet, or any of their sounds while he watches Emma read and she is a year younger. This bothers him b/c they are in the same grade and his younger sister by 2 years is catching on faster than he is. My feeling is all this is having an effect on his behavior and self-esteem. I want my son to succeed.

Our Agency Saves the Day

I love my adoption agency! They have been so supportive and today they topped their best efforts. Still no news about the Adoption Assistance check so I called to tell my SW that our van was dead and I can't make any of the appointments until I get our money to fix the van. It was not a threat, I thought I needed to let them know I can't do OT, PT, Speech, or any of the other doctor appointments this week. Get this.....they GAVE us money to fix the van. I was shocked, I told them it wasn't necessary and they insisted. I was just trying to cover my rear and they really stepped up. This is not something little either, $1500. I am so thrilled to have my van towed tomorrow and hopefully be fixed quickly. Without them we truly couldn't have fixed the van.

I have the most annoying cricket screaming for a mate outside our front door. The darn thing can be heard across the house. Last night it woke Emma up and she had to crash on our floor, again.

Poor Girl

Emma had a friend spend the night for the first time. It was actually the first time for anyone except family to spend the night with any of my kids. It was a real eye opener, let me tell you. A lot of my kids wear pull ups at night due to their past abuse and possibly the smallest bladders in the world. We have made them feel good enough about them that they completely forgot every thing I said when I asked them to change for bed. That part is not unusual (forgetting every thing I said part) but them coming down in just their pull ups was a bit uncomfortable for the girl. They were prancing around in them when she came out of the bathroom and was shocked to see so many big kids nearly naked. Coming from a small household she was already overwhelmed but holding it together. She was completely confused why they had them on and my kids started telling her that they wet their beds every night and they wear them b/c I make them do laundry. What? She just couldn't wrap her mind around the laundry and bedwetting thing, how did they go together? I heard her asking Emma if it was like this all the time in here and Em told her, "No, they are just being good for you."

Poor girl barely ate a thing. She is extremely picky with food which is not something we an issue with anymore. My kids were shocked that she would just throw food away instead of giving it to them and she couldn't believe they wanted her food. She is used to getting what she wants to eat for each meal. This was like stepping into The Twilight Zone for her. She said it was fun and wanted to come back but I would love to be a fly on the wall at her house when they ask her how it was.

A Bit of a Meltdown

Well, my son had a hard time last Friday and did very well over the weekend. He has had a hard time every day after school but able to keep it together and not hurt anyone.....until today. He was told if he sat down and did his homework in a timely manner he would be able to join his Dad at work with a couple of the girls while I took everyone else to OT. He was excited and sat right down. I walked away for less than a minute and he was flipping out b/c Emma was finished with her homework and announced she would be able to go. My son had to write, no copy, 10 simple spelling words. He is fully capable of copying these words, he has done this many times. It ended up being a big ordeal and of course he was unable to go with DH. He had to be carried out to the car and strapped in several times before he decided to stay.

Once we got to the OT's office he had calmed and seemed fine. Three of the girls needed to go to the restroom, this happens every where and every time we go out. I walked them to the bathroom andstood in the hallway between the restroom and the office. I heard someone crying and realized it was him. He was laying on the floor bawling. I asked him to come into the hall with me and he refused and began kicking and screaming. In the hall it turned into an all out tantrum. He threw his folder at me and and ripped up all his paperwork. When the girsl were done I tried to escort him back in and it ended up in a restraint to protect me. He had started hitting, kicking, and scratching me. He laid there for 20 minutes and started crying. I held him for another 20 minutes in a cradle like position that usually helps. His OT thinks it is SID related, I am not so sure. Maybe. I do know he hasn't been like this in a long time and once school started he has needed to let it go again a couple of times.

Money

I know I mentioned that we were waiting on our Adoption Assistance to be sent a while back. It still isn't here! Everyone is pointing their finger at the kids' CW for not doing the original paperwork correctly and then failing to send it to the regional office for filing. Fine, but where does that leave us? Waiting for a check that may or may not have been written for June, July, August, and soon to be September. We can easily afford Emma but adding a sibling group of 6 added a financial burden that we can't maintain for long and on top of that b/c they didn't mention a delay would happen once we signed so we didn't save up for it. Instead we over extended ourselves in a new house in need of lots of repair and school starting. Shame on us for trying to provide a better house and life for all of us.

The latest on this is the Regional Adoption Coordinator (RAC) is investigating where the correct paperwork is. She emailed the kids' CW on Friday and has not updated us yet. I hate to tell them off b/c they are the ones in charge of getting us our money but I am livid. Everything has gotten behind now and we are in a pickle. I need that check this week! Somehow I do not htink my screaming that will help. I am trying to be patient but I am now calling my poor SW every pother day to see if she knows anything. My DH is freaking out b/c his new position only pays him monthly now so we are really in trouble. Once they fix this it should not be a problem again, it is just getting it started.

Push, Push, Push

P's teacher called this morning and I missed the call. She left me a message that she would call this afternoon so I was nervous all day waiting. Turns out 2 girls from another Special Ed class that walk with her to Music pushed her repeatedly. She did a great job controlling herself and told the teacher. She was happy to know the girls got a U in behavior for the day and a note to their parents. Then she goes on to tell me P told her that a kid named Mathew in her class likes her. The teacher is concerned about her giggles and that she has misunderstood this other boy. I agreed that was entirely possible given her history. When I talked to P this afternoon she claims this child told her, "I have a crush on you." Seems pretty normal for a 10 yr old boy, right? I warned her that at 9 she does not need to be holding hands or kissing but that it is normal to like being liked and to like boys. She blushed and denied liking him back. Yeah right, I was born yesterday. She talks about him every day.

D came home and said another child spit on her and hit her. I don't know if I believe her for sure b/c it came when P was getting attention for her incident. She said the teacher sent a note home to their parents.

I am noticing more and more that B avoids affection from me. She walked right up to my DH last night to hug and kiss him but ignored me completely. After she went upstairs to pick out her clothes for school she tried to argue with me about another child's clothes. I had to remind her I was the Mother and what I said was law for the millionth time. SHe is so disconnected to me that it makes me sad for her. I hope we are able to help her past this, she deserves to feel love. In the meantime, she is driving me crazy on purpose and hiding my frustration is difficult but very important.

Waiting

At the last possible hour my oldest and DH decided the didn't have anything to wear tomorrow and I am expected to stay up and be sure the load of laundry is dry. Yes, it can't just be put in the dryer, I must be sure it gets dry. My dryer has been freaky since we moved here and only works when it feels like it. It can go through thte entire cycle is done or cut off randomly through the cycle.

I am not happy about htis byt I am thrilled about why I haven't done any laundry all weekend.
We have had a great weekend. DH took us to breakfast at Waffle House. Yeah!! He then had to go to work for a bit so we took my son to get his hair cut. The lady cut it WAY too short, the good thing is it will grow back and he hasn't a clue. We were able to meet DH later at the pool for a much loved swim.

The best part of the weekend was no one got in real trouble. We had so much fun and everybody behaved. Everyone took their meds w/o complaint, did their chores, worked out fights w/o tattles, and smiled. I am so happy my kids are becoming happy, fun people to be around. Isn't that what a parent is to do? Make their kids likeable and happy. I must be doing something right.

Speaking of family, my DH's Paternal Gpa died a while ago, maybe 2 months or so. Anyway, we got a call today that his aunts and uncles that have had nothing to do with DH basically his entire life want him to have the small inheritance that his Dad would have received had he not drank himself to death. Keep in mind it really isn't much but to them it would be a lot. We have decided to spend the money on a special quick trip with the kids to see the ocean. I made the suggestion to DH b/c he never had those growing up and he always dreamed his Dad would come and do family type things with him. Every time we think about the first time most of our kids saw the ocean was with money from his Father's family. In a round about way, he will have a fun memory of his long lost family.

So now I am trying to figure out where we should go. I love St. Augustine Beach and he is thinking Panama City Beach. His is cheaper and mine has less drunk teens even though it will be after peak season. We are thinking of taking a long weekend in the middle of September.

(My dryer just shut off again for no reason. AGGHH!)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, Wait a Minute Who are You?

I took the kids to McDonald's this morning to play and have breakfast. They were so good and eating like champs so we headed to the indoor playground for a bit. We were stopped by a couple and their little girl to ask if what kind of program I ran. This happens ALOT. Emma recognized the little girl and ran to hug her. She was from her class at school. That sparked a whole new conversation as they followed us to the playground. They wanted to borrow Emma and when I offered to invite their dd over to spend the night sometime they were thrilled. They got to see how I parent first hand and kept telling me how impressed they were. They have not allowed their dd to spend the night out yet but were now very excited at the prospect of letting me take her sometime. They laughed and said they were really excited about Emma spending the night at their house b/c they could sleep past 6AM if their dd had a playmate to entertain her. They made sure to get my number and since they were almost salivating, I know they will call soon.

As we were sitting there other unattended children kept coming up to the table and sitting with us. That happens alot, too. I have no idea why but almost every time we are out other people's children flock to us. We have had them sit down and eat with us and realize we had someone else's kid. Some people really do not supervise their kids well in public. If I had one leave the bunch, I would know right away and I have 7. How is it possible they lose their kid when they only have 1 or 2? I could walk out of any fast food restaurant with additional kids and I swear their parents would not know until after I left the parking lot. It makes me so mad and yes, I have had 2 little boys get in our van and buckle up.

Day 4

I can see myself getting used to this alone time. I have already cleaned up the house and read all the blogs so I find myself with nothing much to do. I am enjoying it.

The kids are loving school and doing well so far. My son is already refusing to do his homework so I see not much has changed after all. Emma loves school so much she begged to go Saturday and Sunday. B has made a friend and is hoping to watch High School Musical 2 at her house on Friday. A only cried on the first day and is convinced she can find her way to her class even if she can't find her bedroom on a good day.

I am Alone!!!!

So now what do I do? Clean? Nap? Watch a movie? I am too pumped up for a nap, cleaning does not sound fun, and nothing on TV. I guess I will just sit here until they come home or the energy wears off and I can take that nap I have been promising myself. I can clean later. I have tons of that to keep me busy b/c I let everything go for the last few days trying to get prepared for school.

Emma's Mother called and wished her a good first day. Nothing else compares to her remembering. All her anxiety flew out the window when I handed her the phone.

This year I have 2-Kindergartners, 2-1st graders, a 3rd, 4th, and 5th grader. We have 3 buses that come to our house for 3 different elementary schools all starting at different times. The first bus was here at 6:45AM, the regular bus arrived at 8:05AM, and the 2nd Special Needs bus was here promptly at 8:25AM. Now why couldn't they organize themselves and all get here at 8:15AM for my convenience.

DH just came in and asked if this was what it is like when they leave for college. He is already counting the days, I am not. I am also wondering if we may better spend our money on a pole than save for college. Really, I am just kidding. I think most of mine are capable of college and it is expected that they will all attend some school after high school.

The Last Days

Kids are ready for school, shoes and supplies have been purchased. Since they do not understand time, they are very confused as to when they are starting. Someone asks me about every hour, "Do we go to school when we wake up?"

Michael and I took them to the pool today. They had a great time and it was so nice to bring DH. He misses alot due to the fact he has to work. I am so glad I do not have to be somewhere every day, answer to someone, or feel rushed to complete a task by a deadline. Wait, I do have a job and it doesn't end at 5PM.

It is getting better and better

Each day gets a little better. They are acting normal again. I think we will survive until school starts on Monday. Only a few more days!!!!

A has been weaned off her Prozac and is now crying for hours a day. She begged me to fix her last night. I emailed the P doctor this afternoon to request new meds be started before the next visit. I hope she agrees b/c I am concerned about school. This child has not attended PreK and this is her first real school experience.

My kids are convinced I need a job since they are leaving me for school. My oldest claims I have nothing to do all day and need to get out of the house. I am so gonna nap on Monday!!

A Great Day

We had a great day at the YMCA pool. The kids were well behaved and even played with other children appropriately. This is a real struggle for them, they do not know how to initiate play with others. I even met someone to talk to, not difficult b/c I always talk to strangers in public places. The only thing that happened wrong all day is I forgot to reapply the sunscreen 15 times and fried a few of the kids just under their eyes.

Almost all of the kids' teachers called and left messages about Orientation Thursday. I wish I had a moment to talk to them privately but it will have to wait. B is upset that she has a male teacher. I don't know how I feel about it, yet. On one hand, not another female that she can love more than me. On the other, she does not act appropriately all the time with males. This should play itself out pretty quickly and hopefully she will be able to learn that most males are not always out to get you.

What a difference a week can make. I am feeling much better, they are acting much better. This time last week I was a mess, frustrated beyond belief and desperately needing a break. I didn't get a break but we have hit the pool 3 times this week and they are too tired to realize they are behaving. LOL

We have one week until school starts and I am counting the days. They went to bed early tonight and will the rest of the week. I need to shop for supplies and new shoes but it will have to wait until later this week. We still have to see the eye doctor, one more physical, and pick up the dentist forms before Thursday. I have to do Orientation at 3 elementary schools within 2 hours and then go to an IEP meeting the same day. That is going to be a challenge to say the least.

I have had a few days to let the baby news sink in and I am feeling better and better about it. She is going back and forth but I am sure she is just scared that I am not going to help her out until she has the baby. I have no problem helping her until she has the baby and some afterward, I will not be able to parent her children full time, though. I am not sure what she is going to do.

This and That

Things are getting a bit better. I sat the kids down and told them I knew they were anxious about the adoption being postponed, new school, and the move. They talked about their feeling a little and have eased up with the obnoxious behavior.

We are still waiting to hear when our Assistance is to start. My agency is worked up about this and the fact I still have not received the paperwork to sign so how could they even write a check. They are going over the CW head and talking with the Office of Adoptions directly. My fingers are crossed we don't upset anyone and they get on the ball.

The Attachment Therapist had me sing to the kids this week. After we were done she laughed and said she wouldn't torture us with that again. I guess I am just that bad.

My kids are bugging about High School Musical 2. It is Zac this and Zac that. Thank goodness the funk is lifting b/c this is enough to push someone over the edge. LOL

School starts on August 13th. I can't wait, we are all counting the days.

I think my friend, E, is going to parent her baby boy. She seems to be starting to have doubts and while I had hoped this would happen all along, I am sad. I am currently babysitting her child 5 full days and nights a week and am her only babysitter. I am not sure I will be available to babysit both of her children long term, it is not helping her learn to be a better parent it is just making me the parent. I am more than willing to help her until she can no longer work and then while she is in the hospital but I can not do this after that. I hope she understands. There is no reason she can't parent this child, lots of kids have just one parent or grow up w/o alot of extras. DH is feeling relief, he was worried about how much fun we wouldn't be having at Disney World. He said he would grieve after that, LOL.

That reminds me, still no takers for Disney World? Are you scared? We don't bite, well, not others at least.