Saturday, July 28, 2007

Sometimes It Sucks Having SO Many Kids

We have had alot going on with Emma's birth siblings this week. Basically we got a call in the middle of the night that her youngest sister was in the hospital and DFCS was taking both the girls into care. Em's Mother called screaming and begging for me to come deal with the CW and get the girls. I went. Everything was set for me to take the girls home with me and they realized I already had 7 kids (I did not mention Mia) and were concerned it would hurt our current adoption. After much discussion I began to search for Emma's birth Great Aunt that adopted her other sister to see if she could come get the girls. SHe did and now I am concerned it was a mistake for several reasons. The Aunt has always tried to "get" the girls and she has tried to close an open adoption. SHe has already had her daughter (my childhood friend) to get the scoop to figure out how to manipulate this situation and keep the girls.

On top of this, Em's Mother has gone back to the boyfriend that is the very reason the kids were removed from her care. I am very disappointed and frustrated with this choice. It is not the first time she has made the choice to go back to him regardless of the consequences. She had spent a night here with Em and had to leave to speak to the police about the case but promised Em she would be back the same day. She has not returned and called only once late at night to let me know her plan of returning the next day. Emma is hurt and there is not much I can do. I have tried to be as honest as I can about the possibility she will not see her for a long while. On a better note, her uncle is trying to reconnect with us b/c for the first time he sees how much I am willing to help his sister and how much he has missed out on with Em.

At this point, there is an investigation going on with the Gma, Mother, and Boyfriend. It looks like the girls will be in care for quite a long time. They could possibly file charges not only against the boyfriend but both the women for child endangerment. The Mother and the Boyfriend were not allowed to be alone with the girls and she had actually allowed them to move in and babysit while she worked. This does not sit well with DFCS.

I feel guilty for not being able to take my daughter's sisters. If the Aunt keeps them, my daughter will not have any kind of a relationship with them. All I can do is hope she can maintain until we finalize and then she gives up so we can get the girls here with us. She is not a stable person and the girls will feel like a burden to her. She is very dramatic and needs constant attention even going so far as to threaten to kill herself so her daughter will come babysit. I was originally told this would be a few days and now that is not true.


musemoon said...

Oh Booo :-( I am sending you my prayers. I think these girls should be in your home, but I know how DCFS is they can be very tough. I pray that your little kiddos are adopted soon and that Emma's sisters can be raised by you...that is my prayer. As you have also told me about Aria's mom, sometime they just can't help themselves from making these mistakes....I just pray that...if she continues to make these kinds of errors in judgement, you get to raise her kiddos.

But um...isn't that like 50 bajillion kids? Good think you moved.

Mongoose said...

Girl, what is it with you and guilt? You did what you could, which is more than most people would do if they had eight kids at home, six of them with RAD, and a baby coming in October. I don't know if you've counted but with Mia it makes 11 kids and that's a fair few even if they don't have RAD. Not to mention, what is it with you and girls? Your baby boy is gonna end up with nine older sisters, you know that? His wife will have the worst time with him! LOL

That being said, I think I understand how you feel, at least a little. It's hard to stop once you get going, eh?

I don't know if you read Theresa's blog off my blog roll, but you're gonna end up being the next Theresa the way you're going. :)

Anyway. I think the guilt is out of place - you did lots already.

(((BIG HUGS)))