Before 4PM

This summer I made sure to leave Mondays open for errands and non-regular appointments. I had scheduled us to enroll D in her new school, go to C's new school and fill out another transportation form, get the tags for our cars, and come home to a lazy afternoon. The kids had another plan.

Went to get tags, kids were fussy but good so we went to McDonalds for a late breakfast and to play. It was down hill from there. On the way to the first elementary school (so far I have kids attending 3 different elementary schools which I will complain about later) P, A, and D thought it would be funny to pour some nasty drink left over from yesterday on my son. He hates to be dirty or wet and began freaking out. He jumped over the seat, while we were going down the road, and punched P and D. I can't blame him but we do not allow ANY violence to go unpunished. He cried for at least 20 minutes until he could change his clothes and wash himself off. We had to wait then for the kids in trouble to get a grip and off we went to the school. They pouted but I can appreciate a good pout vs. a rage any day. They managed to hold it together long enough and we headed home.

Once here they really let it all hang out. D, P, and A had to clean out the van. This took an hour for no apparent reason. My son cried on an off during this time and threw several toys. I have no idea why and he pulled it together when Emma asked him to play. B refused to get off her lazy rump to use the restroom and peed herself. My MIL called and asked if anyone could spend the night so C went outside and bragged to the girls cleaning the van that they could not go. This caused all work to stop and rages to begin. First was P. The usual I hate yous were thrown at me and she broke a few toys. Next was A. She is sneaky and decided to wipe boogers on some toys and dump the trash in the kitchen on the floor. C and D took markers upstairs and broke them then colored all over themselves. C told on D thinking I wouldn't notice her. D went down in a rage that lasted over an hour and included me being hit, kicked, scratched, and pinched. She always threatens me with telling the "cops", hating me forever, and I'll never be her real mom. This time she knocked over an antique school desk I got from Santa when I was 8 yrs old, threw a plastic box at C and busted her lip, smashed in Emma's doll's face, ripped her shirt, hit and scratched herself so the "cops" could see how I abuse her, and threw herself at the wall. The only thing that calmed her was my MIL showed up. My kids are so good when others are around. I have no idea how they go from 60 to 0 in seconds at the thought of being caught. If only I could carry around someone in my pocket for the tough times.

My DH called in the middle of D screaming and having to be held to the floor to protect her siblings from her. It still shocks and surprises him to hear them like that. I know he understands what they are capable of but I think he still wonders if I am doing something to provoke it. He asked if she was ok, not me. That hurts a little today. The kids are doing so much better but I am still assaulted by someone physically on a daily basis. When is someone going worry about how they treat me instead of how I treat them. They are not abused, I am. They are not screamed at or told they will never be enough, I am. They are held and kissed and comforted when they calm down, forgiven for every sin no matter what. I am the one taking all this crap from them, when will it be enough? Probably never. I am not giving up no matter how hard they try to get me to. This day was nothing unusual, a typical day. They are gonna have to try harder to get me to hate them tomorrow, I am sure they will give it their all. I wish they could see how much more fum life would be if they just let me in a little.