Monday, August 10, 2009

A Third?

I think we have crossed a bridge with my son. I fear he may burn it. He has become dangerous. Predatory. The other kids are all OK but b/c they told on him. We are on high alert and will have to remain there. I can't trust him. I can't trust his judgement. He has not been able to be honest for some time. He used to deny things and then fess up. He has learned to hold it in and hold out.

Ruthie gets every cold and symptom that she hears. Literally. Because of this I can't make myself believe her now that she is complaining someone is scaring the crap out of her and whispering that they are going to kill her and Alyssa. She says she is hearing voices. On one hand, the other two are going crazy with hallucinations b/c of the stress from starting school so if she was going to hear them, this would be the time. On the other hand, she "catches" everything. She hasn't heard Patches and Michael talking to me about it so I'm not sure if she would think it was more attention. I don't give them a lot of attention for it. I do believe something is wrong with her that is beyond her current dx and have a terrible feeling she has the same issue Patches and Michael have. The 3 of them stand out from the other children. Their issues have always been deeper and more obvious, different. I feel bad for not believing her but what are the chances that 50% of the sibling group have this illness? Then I feel bad for basing my feelings on that. She is adamant that she is being honest about it. I calmly sat her down and explained how serious this was, that she may need to go to the hospital and stay, she may require shots, and that there was a test that hurts really bad that we would have to do to be sure she really hears things since she has had a problem in the past with exaggerating her symptoms. She agreed to all of this. She promises she is telling the truth. She looks scared. I am so confused. I guess only time will tell.


Anonymous said...

I've dealt with people that are true hypochondriacs and those that simply have to have whatever someone else has (for whatever reasons)Hell my grandmother thought she had prostate cancer because my grandfather had it, and you couldn't convince her otherwise. She genuinely had many of the symptoms (other than the correct body parts of course) to the point I was beginning to wonder if I was the one going nuts.
But it is possible that many of the kids from the sibling group may have the same issues.
Abuse, med's, drugs, and stress can all cause an onset of issues like schizophrenia and or exacerbate the symptoms in people predispositioned to it. Researchers still aren't sure but most have come to believe that severe abuse alters the way the brain works making it more likely to develop genetic conditions.
I'm sure you're aware of most if not all of that considering mental health is your life. I just wanted to let you know that you are most likely not going crazy. And look at the bright side, if you are, you could probably diagnosis and treat yourself after having dealt with everything you have the last few years.

Lisa said...


Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear about Ruthie. I hope you can find a solution soon for her. If you start her on the med's for treatment, will they harm her if she doesn't really need them? Or can you try a placebo, just to see if she is making this up?

I know you are being careful with your son, but I still want to remind you to PLEASE be careful. You mentioned that you hope he doesn't burn bridges. I bet he hopes that also. And I so hope that for all of you.

However, as an outside observer, I just want to point out that he is getting worse...not better. There may come a time that you have to move him somewhere else...for his benefit as well as your families. I hope you have some place in mind now, just in case. If you don't, maybe you should consider researching the facilities available to ensure that you know the best place for him if this becomes necessary.

Tudu said...

The first comment from anonymous had me cracking up. Thank you.

The second in right on the money. He is getting worse. Ruthie is already on the meds that should control hallucinations, the same meds don't stop Michael's or Patches' either.