We are beginning to see some patterns develop for Patches and Michael. I have questioned whether they were there before and we just noticed or if they are getting worse. I realized this morning that it is getting worse, much worse.
They both seem to get stuck in a cycle when certain things happen. For Patches, it when someone comes in the room when she is doing her chore, accidentally or intentionally touches her, breaks any rule she feels is important and often it is her own rule she has made up, and she is extremely focused on others to be sure they do their chore exactly right. There are more that are starting to pop up but these are the consistent ones. It is exhausting for her to do all these things. Here's what happens. Someone brushes against her as they pass. She begins to focus all her attention of them. Her voice gets louder and louder until she is screaming at them. She is berating them for touching her and demanding they apologize. Since the person usually has no idea they did it, they refuse to apologize for it. She becomes so enraged that she begins threatening bodily harm or starts to hurt herself. The second they half heartily apologize, she smiles and it's over. Literally, like a switch has been flipped, done. Now if I could get everyone to apologize right away our life would be so simple. This is how she reacts to all the things above and it happens between 10-30 times a day. We have to intervene to keep her calm. Most times we are able to keep it under control and it only explodes 4-7 times a day. It gets really bad when she does this to Michael b/c he can't apologize, for anything. It sends him into an episode. He instantly digs his heels in the ground and that's it, he won't speak.
Michael is still seeing things. Yesterday a lady was frantically knocking on his second story window. This morning he freaked out and told me I was naked in my bed. Let me tell you 2 things about that. First, I would be freaked out if I saw Me naked and the secondly, I never sleep naked in case they need me.
Patches is seeing weird things again but they all seem to be just weird, not scary. She saw a cherry jump out of a cabbage at the store. She burst out laughing and couldn't speak for a moment until she caught her breath. That is weird on another level b/c the child doesn't laugh heartily, ever. Later she saw a cat on our property and it was looking at her weird. If you hear her explain it, you know it wasn't real. She was even scared and ran back in. I think on some level she knew something was off. She has also seen a "fox" walking down the middle of the road. Of course, there could be a fox like dog but again, they way she describes it you know it's not real. Later she informed me the reason she is seeing things is b/c she is so stressed out about school. I told her it made sense and to hang in there.
Kiera is beating the crap out of the kids. She now screams, "TIME OUT!" when they bug her and right before she hits them. She is such an angry little girl.
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Hey Tudu I don't know if you have ever seen the lifetime movie child of rage which was based on the true story of Nancy Thomas's daughter Beth. I came across the original documentary which I have wanted to see for a long time now that inspired the movie and the interview with Beth as a child is absolutely heart breaking. It's thanks to people like you and Nancy that these kinds of children are learning to heal. This video contains some pretty adult language and discussion of sexual abuse which might not be appropriate for children.
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=43389427
It took me too long to find a good foster care blog like this. I'm glad someone else is sitting in waiting rooms while their brain is boiling!
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