I am deeply afraid he is on the extreme end of crazy. The boy not only refused to participate in school today, he growled at the teacher when she talked to him. He was curled on the floor and growled over and over. They called her in to get him b/c they were at a loss. She tried to talk to him and he again began growling. She ended up carrying him out with the teacher's help. He kicked her repeatedly.
Once home, he tried to trip her and has been screaming for hours. He hates her. His tantrums are above and beyond normal, I am convinced he has attachment issues. I am so tempted to say RAD. He was separated from her at birth for many weeks, she wasn't able to care for him until he was almost a year due to her severe injuries, she left the state for many months to work to support her family, he lived in a household where violence and chaos was the norm, at one point I helped her regain control and he had a "safe" life when she allowed her violent husband to return, and she struggles to bond with him due to her own attachment issues. His father was abandoned as a very young child b/c he father ran her off, he was not treated as a family member when his dad remarried and was regularly beaten by his brother at his parent's request. He didn't have a chance to bond with anyone and no idea how to parent without any role models.
She is coming over for the weekend for a crash course. I hope she learns what she needs to help him. She has already asked if I would take him until he is better. I laughed it off and told her I would help her heal him. She is in for a ride.