Saturday, August 02, 2008

Open House

I have been quiet this week and as we wind down summer. I took the kids to meet their teachers on Thursday and the kids were great. I don't mind meeting them but it is so stressful deciding what to say and what not to say. I don't want to share all their business but they need to be aware we are not "normal". We get stares and questions every where we go, the school is no exception. My kids are like little rock stars, everyone knows one of my kids. (Yes, I know it is b/c I have one in almost every class but let me dream it is b/c they are so popular for just a minute.)

The twins' teachers just got a letter I printed off the internet for teachers about attachment disorder, I hope they read it this time. Ruthie has the same teacher as last year b/c she is in the MID (Mild Intellectual Disability) class. She will be fine. Emma's teacher has already asked me to commit to a day a week to be in her class. Patches' teacher was way too friendly and confident of herself. I hope it doesn't become an issue. Michael was retained so he will be in the same class with the same teacher. He left and told me his teacher called him her friend, he is in love. She also was the only teacher to attend the party in June. I hope she understands a bit better and I don't have to let her have it again.

There was only one child's schedule that caused me so much stress. She has so many teachers and her issues are so scary to discuss with strangers. What do I say to keep every one safe but not turn them against her? How much do I say? (Hey, watch out b/c my beautiful kiddo here will groom and molest any kid she can steer from the pack is not an option.) I ended up explaining it the best I could without telling them too much. I reminded them that they couldn't tell a soul under the HIPPA Law and that any friends she makes are perfectly safe outside of school b/c she is so closely monitored at home. I sure don't want anyone running to a bunch of parents to say "watch out for that girl" b/c they worry that she is befriending someone. I explained she is healing and working very hard towards her goals and hopes to build a social life this year. I am not concerned about other students b/c she is the youngest in her school and her peer relations are so important to her. I asked that she not be alone with a single child, in charge of any child, and not allowed to roam the halls without supervision except during classroom changes. They are to call her on everything and she is fully responsible to follow those rules w/o reminding. The really hard part to swallow is this child doesn't care if they know. She is not uncomfortable at all. I am not sure how to take that, is she so comfortable with her mistakes and the fact we love her regardless of her behaviors or is it she has no emotions? Likely the latter.

Michael has been without a pull up for over a week and no "spills". I am so proud of him and more importantly, he is so proud of him.

Patches has asked that I not go to the school. I hope she is OK, she insists she will be. She knew a couple of kids in her class and even though she stood with her head buried in my back the entire time, she said she could handle it. (Poor girl is looking a bit weird with poison ivy all over her face, arms, and legs. I am sure someone will comment on it and she will go off on them. I will be asked to stay at the school to protect others from her outbursts.)

We didn't have a night out, we canceled on my MIL b/c it was too much work. Sad, I know. I want to have an evening alone but it just isn't the right time. As of tomorrow, I will have a spare bed in our extra room and she can come and spend the night w/o worry. I plan on using her for that in the very near future.


Ali said...

It really amazes me how great of a parent you are. I mean it's not always easy being a parent in general but you seem to just have it all together. As much as goes on in your family you still are a strong, dedicated parent who knows how to discipline, comfort, and raise your beautiful children. Your blog is so educational to other parents reading it. Your kids are so lucky to have you. You are truly amazing.

Shea said...

I imagine that must be just awful to have to explain to the teachers. You are so brave to even try. I hope this year is a better year for you. My 12 year old was "hurt" last year, and it was so very difficult going through all the emotions and angry outbursts. She is doing so much better, but I had to keep watch for so long and be so careful. I really do hope things are more settled for you this year.

Linda said...

I'm pretty sure you meant FERPA--Family Education Right to Privacy Act--and not HIPAA--Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act. ;-)

ania said...

I just found your place here at about 1:00 this afternoon. I've been reading my way up.

I am so in awe of how generous you are with your love, your resources....everything. And how you work so hard to help your children 'heal'. I could go on and on. I know, you don't claim to be perfect, or have everything figured out....but goodness, just dealing with multiple l.i.c.e. infestations without going over the bend says a lot about a person :)

I have just one question. Do you worry about someone that Cyr knows (or will come to know in years to come) happening across the information of her behaviours?

I love seeing photographs of your family, and was so excited as I read up through the adoption process to your first "up close" family photograph. I love coming to a post and finding that it has a glimpse of your beautiful family - a goofy grin or even that sullen apartness that Patches has down pat. But, I would be devastated if I were Cyr, and someone I knew found out this personal information.

I'm sorry if someone else has asked about this, but I can't read all the comments as I get caught up, or I'll never make it to 2009!!

I have so much respect for the loving-kindness and determination that you and your husband share with your children.

And these kiddos - so many days must be exhausting in this world that's not set up their way. Their continued growth and progress is a blessing.

Much gratitude for all you do.