Well, their worker still hasn't sent the Child Presentation. She blamed it on the Clerical Dept., my worker and I had a good laugh about that b/c all the worker had to do is copy the file and mail it. There is no Clerical Dept. I understand she is very busy but come on already! I am anxious to find out more and offically accept the children. I can't even decorate until we have the Staffing and find out what they like from their Foster Parents.
Their worker also said the parents will not be filing an appeal, but 2 relatives have come forward and requested the children be placed with them. WOW! WHAT? She has assured us it is her legal responsibility to check them out even though they were denied before. I started getting worried! How long will htis take? Months like us or what? Are we expected to wait her until they figure this out? Should we continue to look for another group? My worker sent an email with all my questions Friday and I am sure it will be days until she hears back from her. Our worker said it is not uncommon for it to take a littel while to get the Presentation but the relatives popping up she has no real idea b/c their worker doesn't give any details. SHe NEVER answers her phone or returns calls, only emails.
So, now what? Wait, some more? I guess that is our only choice. We are committe dto a group we know little about and are not getting our questions answered in a timely manner.
We have been told they have very few issues, but I am wondering how they could if they have been in and out of care for 6 years. The children are all under 10, that is most of their lives. The boy has temper tantrums, is a sign of attachment issues or is it normal behavior? I am concerned. I am scared. I know love can not fix their problems but stability can help. I do not think I am living in a cloud and can fix everything for these kids, I know my life will be hell for a year or so and I hope it will get better. I believe this is what I was meant to do, parent children lost to the system and keep them together. I know I will love them, I hope I like them. I hope they come to love us and like it here. I hope my daughter will not be treated like an outsider by them. I hope she does not feel left out by us. She is awesoem and very excited about new siblings. We talk about how things will change constantly. I can't truely prepare her.
I an concerned my family will struggle with them. My Mother is not the warm freindly Grandma type. She does not seem to like many children. She spends little time with my child, but seems to remember her when shopping. She does not come to birthday parties, but sends a gift of clothes. Strange old bird is turing 60 next week and my eldest sister is throwing a party for her at a bar. Whole other story with her. SHe is alot like my Mom about kids. Barely tolerates them. Does not like her step children and IMHO was a distant mother to her only daughter. I am no longer updating them about my adoption b/c they are so negative and rude. I can't wait to surprise them once they have moved in. Both of them think I can not keep a secret and are not really interested in my life. They think I am crazy and unrealistic in what I can handle. This process takes such a long time to finsih and at the thought of making plans for the last few holidays we have had to consider we may have tons of kids and may not be able to attend certain things if they are here. My Mother and sister, Julie, have actually have said to me "I'll believe it when I see it." WHAT? It is our reality they will be here, we don't know when. We can't make huge plans for our future right now b/c we need to be flexible.
My 2 younger sisters are much better. Kiki is my best friend. I adore her. SHe is in the middle of a divorce and is finding herself. I miss her. She rarely has real time for me anymore. She is excited and will be directly effected by our adoption b/c I watch her 20 month old daughter while she works. She will have to enroll her in a daycare and she will have to pay for it. I fell awful about it, but I need to focus on my new kids. I ahve a hard time putting myself first and have always taken care of my nieces when asked. She has no one else. My kids come first, she understands. Kiki will try to get to now my kids but I don't think she will spend much time with us now that she is dating and getting used to being alone. She really isn't there for me right now and that's ok, I understand her hands are full with 3 girls (12,6,and 20 months).
Ethyl is the youngest sister. She bartends and has a 12 year old daughter. She divorced when her daughter was a toddler and has a marginal relationship with her ex. She is alot like my Mom and oldest sister, distant. If she wants something, she is nice but otherwise you do not hear from her. SHe is loud and pushy and that can be alot of fun when you are out with her.