The baby was very sick the first few months and cried constantly from undiagnosed acid reflux. Within a day or two we noticed blood in her diaper, she tested positive for salmonella and boy that was fun. She was so sick when we got her, no wonder she was crying. I kept her in a carrier on my body for months to comfort her. She did not like the touch at first b/c she had spent her first three weeks without being held and sat in an infant car seat. Once she got used to being held and she loved it.
Visits with Emma's other mother were strained at first, we wanted her to be with us but on the other hand we were in love and terrified she wanted the baby back. We talked about it with her and she said she knew that she didn't want the baby full time. Later we realized she was so afraid what people thought of her for placing 2 children through adoption that she spread horrible stories about us. It was hard to be nice some days. The things she was saying was coming back to us from all directions. Our foster daughter, Nichole's family (Mom, aunt, and cousin) were all telling us basically the same story, we had stolen her baby and wouldn't give her back.
I was able to confront her and comfort her about the fact we understood why she was making all these claims even if she did not understand. She screamed, as she would many times since, that she didn't want anything to do with us and it hurt too bad. It would have been so easy to say "Ok" but instead told her, she had a responsibility to her child even if she did not live with her and we loved her and would talk to her whenever she felt she wanted to. No time ever We continued to invite her over and she eventually apologized for her behavior and the things she said.
She claims that our relationship is the first time she has ever known unconditional love. We have done everything we promised and more, despite her family telling us we should cut off contact with her. She has grown into a wonderful young lady and while she has spent most of her teen years and now adulthood struggling with drug addiction she is now clean.
Over the last few years she has stayed with us for a few weeks at a time. We all love those weeks together. Our daughter knows who she is and loves her. She has overheard my husband and I calling Nichole her Other Mother and it has turned into a nickname, Udder Mudder. It has nothing to do with utters, cows, or anything disrespectful. My daughter has a hard time speaking clearly and it is so cute, her Mother loved it and it has stuck.