Lots of This and a Little of That

I love it when they wake me screaming at each other. It sets the mood for the day. When they move on to punching, you know you gonna have fun. My son rammed his body into the wall above his bed and we now have a small boy's body sized hole in the sheetrock. Good times, people. At least he showed the kids first so he can't come back and say one of us did it to him.

We have decided to pursue the same meds that have changed the life of Patches, for him. Have I mentioned what is going on with her? She allowed me to take her photo first thing in the morning, she had her hair pushed back off her face, and she smiled on purpose! ALl of those things are firsts for her. SHe hasn't had any major tantrums since Thanksgiving and is sharing her feelings with us. SHe actually tried to help Michael when he was in a rage Friday by telling him how she used to feel before the meds and how she does now. SHe was trying to give him HOPE! He couldn't hear it at the time b/c he was too busy trying to convince us we were trying to "get him". His paranoid and delusional thinking is getting way out of control and is scary to work with. I have found that agreeing with him throws him off but is dangerous if I am not careful what I agree to. He is no longer fighting with Patches b/c her's is gone. He can turn anything into a plot against him. If Eddie gets out of the van and grabs a hand of a nearby child, Michael will say he hates Michael and Eddie never wants to play with him again. If I ask the kids to "run through your chores", it becomes "I hate you Michael. You have to do all the chores. No one here loves you or likes you. YOu are stupid. You are dirty. You can't eat here ever again." I'm not kidding, those are things he yells back at me, swearing that's what I meant. There is only one way to fix it and it is with meds, hopefully the ones Patches' is taking will help him cope with this distorted thinking.

We spent the evening at Gorges' house (my Mom and it's pronounced gorgeous) to do our holiday thing there. It was great! She made all my kids PJ bottoms and matching pillow cases. Rosa's got the bottoms. Mine was the best, she made me an adorable basket with cool goodies, tons of homemade cookies and breads, and she made me a sit down dinner with several courses of the most incredible food that I didn't have to clean up after. Since Rosa moved in, there hasn't been room at the table for the adults so I end up standing. It was fantastic to relax and not worry about kids. I was miserable when dessert came. We decided it wasn't my fault that my extra large bra smooshes my stomach and causes me to feel full too soon. I asked several members of my family to hold them up to relieve the pressure so I could continue with the feast before me but no one accepted. Someone offered to tie a scarf around my neck and under them to help but there wasn't one long enough. That needs to be invented for holidays for large breasted women. Can one of y'all get on that?

My MIL came to get Patches and Ruthie to purchase their birthday gifts. I can't believe they are 11 and 12 this year.

We have spent a great deal of time talking about the time they have been with us. We are half way into the 4th of everything, birthdays, holidays, and such. The twins are having a hard time recalling their last foster mother's name and remembering living with their parents. The bad memories remain clear and vivid but the day to day stuff is almost gone. They remember the visitation center clearly but only Cyr remembers any holidays. I knew they would forget some things, that's natural. I am surprised at how much they are forgetting. It seems to have taken a huge leap lately, too. They want to talk about traditions here and how it is different than their previous life. Ella and Ava seem to need to hear how they have changed, too. I do that with all the kids but they are asking me about it more and more. Both have changed tremendously, I barely recognize the old posts about them.

Kiera is changing, too. Her anger is subsiding and becoming more of a desperation for me. She can even let strangers talk to her, she won't respond but she'll listen. That's a huge step above throwing things at them. SHe understands that Santa is bringing presents. SHe knows she loves presents. She let Santa hold her b/c of his promise to bring them. SHe thinks the tree is the coolest toy holder ever. She plucks the ornaments off and cooks them for me in her kitchen. SHe tears out the pictures of the kids on them and kisses them before throwing them down. We have had to redecorate more this year than all the years since Emma was born. If I must complain, I'm glad it's about this.

The flu is still keeping us down. My DH now is feeling it. I am up moving but a fever still hits me every night. I just can't shake the sore throat and deep cough. Life must go on though.