Thursday, December 31, 2009

Embarrassing Moments

We decided to skip bowling because they didn't have room for us. They were booked solid all night. Skating was an all nighter and I knew I'd want to slit my wrist after an hour or 2 with the baby. We almost didn't make it out of the house after my son decided to threaten to kill and chop up Rosa and Alyssa for looking at him. He managed to pull himself together with the help of my DH. I lost my patience and had to leave the room. He was so delusional, claiming I was mean to him and we all hate him. NOTHING was ever said or implied that anyone was irritated or upset with him in any way. He thinks this crap up all on his own. I'm getting heated up thinking about it again.

We ended up going to Chuck E Chez. I signed up for their membership online and they sent me a ton of great coupons. We had the place to ourselves. I'm not kidding, there was only one other family there. They had a blast! When they closed at 10PM, we came home to watch the ball drop.

I forgot to mention in my post yesterday about how the kids embarrassed me. I know all you moms have had those moments in public when your kid whines in the bathroom stall that you are pooping and it stinks or in the check out line and they ask you why someone is so fat. We've all been there, done that. I had Abs (my 11 yr old niece), Emma, and Ava with me at the thrift store. Within minutes they were bored and ceased to be much help. First Emma had to use the bathroom and the other 2 quickly stepped up to take her and go themselves. I pointed to the back of the store and told them to stay together. About a minute later I heard the alarm sound. I knew it was my kids. Everyone stopped and stared the entire 60 seconds it screeched through the store. Just as it stopped my kids ran around the corner and hollered that they had set it off when they opened what they thought was the bathroom. It echoed they were so loud and everyone was so quiet for a few seconds. Then everyone started laughing. They were mortified, it takes more than that to get my blood boiling.

Later, after they had relieved themselves in the proper place and the attention was back on shopping. I managed to get them looking again with the promise to leave as soon as we looked at every pair of pants. I asked them to look for size 4 and 18. Once I filled the cart with all the 4s we needed, we were all to put our attention on finding any 18s for me. If you are wondering why I am sharing my size with you all, I figured you may as well know, every one within our local area does. You see, the girls would YELL out, "Hey, here's an 18! That's for you right? It's huge! Wow, this is ugly. Here you go Mom." The first time it happened, I acted like it was no big deal. A fellow mom looked at me and smiled, knowing. I discreetly mentioned they could just bring anything they found to me. I thought/hoped they got the hint. I should have known better. The second time, a woman laughed out loud and mumbled something that I couldn't understand. The third time, I calmly took it from her hand and said, "Nanny will love these!". My kids were confused and asked, "Why would Nanny care about your pants?" No one was fooled. I was humiliated.

As we were waiting in line, Rosa called to tell me Ruthie had threatened to kill her with the knife int he sink and had to be held. I promised to hurry home and hung up. I quietly stated we were in a hurry to get home. Emma announced loud enough for every one in line to hear like it was every day conversation, "I bet Ruthie tried to kill someone again. She really can't handle Mom having a life. I wonder if they will put her in the hospital like Michael and Patches so she won't try to kill every one anymore." Ava said, "She'll have to go when she stabs someone. You can't be dangerous and live in a family. Mom won't let her kill anyone because she loves us no matter what." I was so ready to go. I couldn't even say anything. I looked up and the cashier's mouth was hanging open. I smiled and unloaded my basket. I mean really, at this point, what's to hide?


Kelly said...

LOL! You are killing me. I would love to be a fly on the wall of your life for just one day. Notice I didn't say, I would love to take your place for a day...ummm no, just watch. I could not do it. You are amazing.

adoptyaroslav said...

Sounds like every minute with your kids is an adventure. Kind of reminds me of several years ago when I was visiting my sister and her family. Patrick was 3 yrs old and Faith (whose middle name is the same as my sister's first name) was just a baby. My brother-in-law and I took Pat to the grocery store to get a few items, including diapers and formula. As we got up to the checkout, Pat (who had a speech impediment at the time) looked at the formula, touched it and loudly proclaimed, "Faith Mommy!" Well, it actually sounded a lot more like, "I hate Mommy!" The clerk looked at me mortified, like she couldn't figure out why I wasn't freaking out like she was. I guess she figured I was Mommy and not Auntie; and she didn't know about the speech problem. I wonder how she would've reacted to your kids? Just remember that saying, "whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger."

PS- I wear a size 20, if that makes you feel any better!

FosterAbba said...

My kid embarrassed me New Year's Eve. We were at my mother's house, and she'd invited her widowed neighbor over for dinner. We were having polite conversation with the elderly neighbor lady, and Danielle started talking about marijuana growing and how bad marijuana plants smelled.

Yeah, embarrassing.

marythemom said...

"Luckily" my kids are "charming RADs" so except for those first 6 months when they just couldn't control themselves, most of the time they reserve all their RAD behavior for just me - so people think I'm an overreacting, over protective, witch. Still, I know where you're coming from and you have my total empathy!

I'm an 18 too,
Mary in TX

roztime said...

HAHAHA would love to know that cashier's thoughts :). Also, curvy is beautiful, at least I think so.

Happy New Year!!