I must have skipped over the Christmas afternoon episode. Sorry. I am trying to forget it and move on.
I had mentioned things were going well that day and I spoke too soon. Michael had been pushing the limits but was pulled back without much drama. That is until there was drama. I can't even remember what set him off. He went wild with anger. It was worse than usual. He put all his energy and efforts into hurting me. I was having a hard time getting a good grip and in the process he managed to bite my left breast and leave a huge bruise. Trust me when I say, I do not bruise easily and if a bruise is visible, he had to work very hard to get it there. He then grabbed the next available skin and it happened to be my other breast. He grabbed a handful and twisted as hard as he could. He slammed his head back against my chest that afternoon and it left a very tender spot on the front of my left shoulder. When the kids hug me, I wince in pain when they try to lay against me or hug me.
As I mentioned, I really don't remember what started it but I should have seen it coming. He had taken the trash out moments before and told me a bunch of cats surrounded him. He claimed they were circling him. They were trying to scare him and hurt him. It was painfully obvious this didn't happen and he was hallucinating. I comforted him and we moved on. He came to me several times asking if I was calling him. Later he became irritated, claiming I had been calling him and was trying to trick him. Shortly after that, all Hell broke loose.
In the end, he kept slamming his head back against me and I wasn't against the sofa so we fell backward. Since we were sitting and I was behind him, you would think if anyone would be injured, it would have to be me. It wasn't. He said he heard a snap in his neck because he was trying to hit me with his head as hard as possible. He began to cry and complain he couldn't turn his head. I waited a second to be sure it was real.m Yes, I have been tricked into believing they were hurt or were done just so they could really hurt me. I quickly realized he had hurt himself and I began trying to assess the situation.
The sad part is, my first thought was that I was going to be accused of harming him. It was going to look like I had restrained him improperly or was abusing him. In fact, I was not doing either but can't control his head in a basket hold so he is free to harm his neck. He turned out to be fine and just needed a bit of ibuprofen and to sit a spell. What if he had been really injured? That is always a risk with violent children. I am confident that he would tell the truth when he is calm but he is easily confused due to his low IQ. What if they didn't believe him? What if they didn't understand how ill he is and the damage he is capable of? It is always easier to blame the adult in the situation for abusing the child. It is hard to believe this sweet, almost angelic looking tiny boy can rage for no reason for hours. I can't get him on tape because he goes limp. I have no proof other that my word and the word of my children that he is so dangerous. I'm sure the hospital staff would see the marks on his body or the injury as a reason to report us. Another investigation would follow. Would they just glance at us and know or would they think that they've been called twice so they must have missed something the first time? We are in danger every time he goes off.