Monday, November 24, 2008
The Worst Day Ever
I have had the worst day I have ever had parenting. I feel like the worst mom ever. Ruthie hit, kicked, pinched, and scratched me more than 100 times before I lost it. She did manage to make those last all day and weren't in the first, second or even the third fit she had. At one point she came at me looking like a crazed maniac with her hands out to assault me again, I smacked her in the chaos. It wasn't hard, no mark was seen then or now but I immediately felt terrible. I have never hit any of my children. I knew I was too mad to help her anymore and I screamed at her and ran in the house. She knew I was over the edge and waited for me to come back to get her instead of slamming herself into the glass door like she had been. I am so ashamed. I should have been in more control. She goes to this place that is so hard to describe, she becomes murderous. She has no memory of the event. She knows that something happened b/c she is in trouble but the exact things are unclear to her.