Monday, November 10, 2008

Jade

Jade has just turned 1 and is walking pretty good. She is related to Emma, I think they are 2nd cousins by marriage. Here in the South, it is common to call your parent's friend aunt or uncle so and so. I have known Emma's Mom since she was a kid and I think Jade's Mom is just the cousin even though they call her Aunt Jess. Anyway, we were asked yesterday to come and pick her up today b/c her aunt/uncle had filed for LG but it was discovered that they had stopped giving the baby her breathing treatments ans she had to be hospitalized. They also have 5 charges of child cruelty in their past. They wouldn't be able to complete the LG even if she wanted them to. They had pressured her into signing it over to them about a week ago and she immediately regretted it but felt she needed to figure something else out before removing her again. She is unable to care for her child due to meth addiction, no job, no money, and homelessness.

Our intention is to keep her until she can get herself together. We all agree it needs to happen quickly or it needs to be a permanent situation. This is the 2nd child she has placed for the same reason. DFCS is on her back about LG or adoption. We will not seek either at this time but will be thrilled about having a chubby baby to snuggle for a bit. I am reluctant to discuss adoption with her b/c I feel so strongly that the baby should be with her mother if she can get additional help. She would really like to parent but needs to get into a drug treatment program that she is still trying to convince herself she doesn't need. She has been talking to Emma's Mom and us about leaving her with us for the last year but managed to avoid DFCS and found family to take her for brief periods. She has burned all her bridges and anyone willing to take the baby either didn't qualify or wanted to steal her baby. One of the other reasons she told Nikki she wants us to take her is that if we all decide she needs to stay, she knows we will honor our end of the relationship. She loves that Nikki has a real relationship with her child. She loves that we all love Nikki so much that we support her regardless of her choices and are always here for her.

This poor child hasn't had a consistent caregiver and has bounced from house to house. She is extremely clingy and whiny. She is not a healthy child and needs to have breathing treatments all the time. I am concerned she needs stability immediately to avoid attachment issues that are inevitable if things doesn't slow down for her soon.

My DH is on his way to pick her up right now. They had to call the police to remove her from their care. She showed them the documents from the courts but they refused to let the baby leave. It was a huge screaming fight and they waited for over an hour for the police before leaving. They are on their way back over there and will immediately meet my DH to bring her here. I am sure she will be very confused and scared. I wish there was an easier way to help her.

In the meantime, I have nothing for a baby! Time to hit Freecycle. I will post pictures tonight.

14 comments:

Nichole said...

How exciting :) can't wait to hear more about how she settles in...

what a sad story though, hopefully the mom can get her stuff together

Lorie said...

I must say of anyone on this planet who will do the right thing and the best thing for this baby it will be you.

Congrats on your new little charge :-)

Snuggling babies is too much fun!

Nichole said...

how exciting, can't wait to hear more about her...

what a sad story though, hope her mom get's her stuff together so she can eventually take care of her properly

thanks for mentioning Freecycle...I had never heard of it before. It looks awesome :)

Torina said...

Ooohhh! Every week, more family members join your household! I love it! Enjoy your new little one, however long you have her! Best wishes!

Lisa said...

Exciting news. I am sure you'll settle her down in no time.

Anonymous said...

I love reading your blog! I do have a question though, We were told in our classes that by no means should any of our foster childrens photos be placed on the web for sharing. DO you have to get special permission for this??
Thanks!
heather

Kelly said...

Oh how exciting. Hope you all settle in quickly.

Abby goes to Denmark! said...

Good luck finding everything you need on freecycle!! It's such an amazing community. =)


Looking forward to pictures...

Innocent Observer said...

I am so excited for your family, and for that precious baby who IS going to have some stability.

I'd love to be a fly on the wall as your hubby pulls up with that wonderful baby!

I wish you were closer so I could send over some baby stuff (which would just be my excuse to come in for a quick new baby squeeze!).

Innocent Observer said...

ps My husband just said, "So, they have EIGHT kids now?"

I said, "Well, yeah. Only it's more like TEN because they also have their former foster daughter and her two kids living with them!" hahaha I'm so sure he'll want to meet up a Disney! hahaha

Marthavmuffin said...

Oh I wish I was there I could come by and snuggle too. Check Craigs list too. Tell your story and people will offer bags of clothing at a good price

Shea said...

Always excitement in your home lol. Have fun snuggling that baby. I hope she is a good sleeper. If not, with your insomnia, you can count sheep together. I've always had trouble sleeping too.

Lindsay said...

Hope you can bring Jade the stability she needs. Good luck.

Paula Perry said...

wow, good luck. i am sure even if you have nothing for babies in the house that she will be far better taken care of than she has been!...but some clothes might be required!