Sunday, July 12, 2009

Pick Up That Gun

Michael cam running in to me on Friday afternoon shaking. He has a processing disorder that causes him to struggle to say what he is thinking. It is in his head but can't come out right. It is worse the more agitated he is. It is hard to listen to him tell you anything. His teacher even commented last year that when he approaches her, she finds a chair b/c she knows even the simplest thought can take him several minutes to get out. Anyway, he had a story to tell and he managed to get it right out. "I heard someone tell me to pick up that gun. I saw a gun on the ground and it said to pick it up." I had to stop and think for a second b/c it threw me off when he got it all out. Then it hit me, this is new. The voices have been talking to him for a while but have never told him to do anything, until now.

I expressed my concern with Patches and Cyr's AT. She explained this is a reason to be concerned. Our recent psychiatrist visit didn't increase the anti psychotic even though Michael's AT had suggested since we were at the max on this one to add another to help control his voices and hallucinations. This AT was surprised at her decision. She gave me a couple of options, get a second opinion or have her partner, our other AT, go into the next appointment and help her understand what is going on. On a completely different note, she also agreed to go to Patches IEP meeting with me. Yeah!!!! She is a little ball of fire so I know they will stand back and listen to her.

It's funny, I knew I would have a large family, I knew they would have emotional challenges but it never occurred to me that I would have to worry about them hallucinating about guns or weirdos in the windows. My DH and I had a friend, let me be more clear, my DH dated a girl I was friends with that was hospitalized many times for Schizophrenia. She was very strange, at times. It was sad to see her deteriorate over the years and I worry that Patches will be like that. She tried to kill her Dad b/c the voices told her he was evil. She tried to cut open her stomach b/c she thought she was pregnant with his evil child. The poor man was as nice as he could be ans adored his daughter. I heard she is now a mother and the only thing I could think of was her poor child.

We are finally free here. Our new to us van is fantastic. It ain't pretty but it is big and has been wonderfully maintained b/c it was a Housing Authority vehicle. It is white, the only color I didn't want. The kids are so happy to ride in it that they don't care where I have to go, they all want to ride. Yesterday I took the big girls to therapy, came back and got all the kids to go to the pool for 3 hours and have a picnic lunch there, returned home to eat dinner, then off to the park we went, and since they all behaved so well, we stopped by Walmart to grab some ice cream. It was a great day. This morning I am heading to our old church to see my dear friend Debra lead the program. She is the president of the congregation and I love when she speaks. She is one of the most amazing women I have had the pleasure of calling my friend. Unfortunately, it is about 75 minutes away.


Sheri said...

Your story reminded me of one day when Dustin came home from school after "stabbing" a child in the stomach with a pencil. I stupidly asked him why and he looked at me at said, "They told me to!" while pointing next to him. I said, "Who?" and he said, "My friends." Obviously no one was there. That was the day we began Chlozapine or how our pdoc describes it - the mother of all anti-psychotics.

Kelly said...

We have a big white van (the only color I didn't want) too. The kids were so proud of it at first and now the new has worn off. They just laugh about it now and make fun of me for having to drive it around all the time. Oh well. When they are all gone maybe I will get me a cute little car and not ever let them ride. Ha Not!

Titus 2 Thandi said...

This is frightening, must be so frightening for him too.I'm sorry things are deteriorating.