Saturday, June 26, 2010

The Pool

We all went swimming at the Y. We returned with all the kids in tact. The toddlers passed out during the 10 ride home then scarfed down entire sandwiches, chips, and giant pickles. They were starved. No one was badly burned. I'm surprised they got any sun at all with the way I was chasing them down spraying them with sunscreen.

We are going back tomorrow and I think I will be able to manage alone from there on out. I know, 11 little ones and 1 mom. It sounds horribly challenging but every one has a partner that they have to keep up with. I can sit at the shallow end with the toddlers and see the entire area. Of course, counting to 11 the million and a half times during the visit to be sure they are all accounted for sucks.

I'm pretty strict about their behavior. If the life guard whistles at them, for any reason, they are out the rest of the day. They have to be aware of the other kids and be able to see me at all times. They really don't give me a hard time. I am concerned that the new Michael will present the biggest challenge. His ADHD can make him difficult to manage. I imagine the overload of stimuli will send him over the top.

I'd love to hear any suggestions on how you cope with so much energy.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Two Signatures Change Our Lives

I barely have time to catch my breath anymore but I didn't want today to pass without sharing something with you.

I received a call this morning from the G Gma. She was very excited and upset at the same time. She had spoken with the kids mother from the courthouse while she was awaiting the trial to terminate her rights. She asked for her Gma's advice and guidance with the decision and she declined to tell her what to do. She told her she couldn't do it anymore and no matter the outcome and she needed to think about what she felt was best for them, not her. She signed her rights away today with the condition we adopt all three. Their father's rights were involuntarily terminated today.

I cried. I cried for the kids, for their G Gma, and their parents. If I'm honest, I cried for all the hardship we will have during the next year while they learn our rules, their roles, grieve their parents, and how to accept our love. All of our lives changed today.

We had an incident with Patches last night that has forced our hand. She did close to $500 worth of damage to our home. She needs help. She needs her meds overhauled and not some quick weekend in the hospital. I signed all the paperwork to have her admitted into a residential treatment program in the coming weeks. Knowing me all too well, her therapist made me sign everything right then. I have backed out so many times because we had a good week, she said she wouldn't risk it. She could be gone 1-6 months. She will still be a part of our family and will return to us more stable. We haven't told her but she has asked to go numerous times. SHe knows she is struggling again and wants to be a healthy part of our family. I know she will do her best to get all she can from the program. It will be harder to make the other kids feel like she is still a part of us.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

A Visit With G Gma

I drove an hour to take the 3 kids to see their G Gma, CW, G Aunt, and Guardian Ad Litem. It seems we are all on the same page. G Gma is exhausted and worn slap out. She fears she is letting them down and failing them. I tried to help her come to terms with her feelings and we both made promises to each other. She is a very nice lady that has gone above and beyond her abilities to try to help the kids. She can do no more. She asked they be moved before school starts to my home permanently.

I left the oldest there ad kept the 2 younger ones. I'm not sure how she will manage with him there, he became obnoxious the second we pulled in the drive. He was disrespectful and rude to her. He insisted on blasting music and changing the channel on the TV. He ran in and out and was very aggressive towards both his siblings. I, being me, couldn't watch this without stepping in. I forced him to clean up his destruction in a polite but firm way. I suggested he get a grip with a loving smile on my face but a tone that he couldn't mistake. He did.

We ran over to meet the attorney at McDonald's. He was surprised I handle the kids an managed to have a conversation with him. He spoke briefly to the little girl and she told him she wanted to stay with us. She feels safe here and wants to be adopted by us. She compared our home to her Granny's and it is obvious she like that we have flooring, closets with clothes and shoes bursting from them, cabinets with doors, and a lack of roaches.

TPR trial is tomorrow. Everyone feels things will move quickly after that. The CW wants us to update our home immediately. It looks like they will be here unofficially until then.

When we returned home, the 2 yr olds ran to each other and hugged like they had been apart for years. He ran in and screamed, "HOME!".

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

A Bump In the Road

The kids are great. Their level of energy and what it does to the house is difficult but manageable. My son can't handle all the running and wrestling (it's not allowed here and apparantly it's a very dificult rule to follow). It get's him going and he misinterprets the play for an attack. It doesn't matter he begins it.

He lost it yesterday and threw my new mixer across the room and locked himself in his. I was very worried about him in there and it has an outside handle on it from the previous family. Well, not anymore. My husband had to kick in the door. The other kids think my DH is like the guys in the movies now. LOL My son really lost it and I had a very hard time getting a good grip which only helps to increase his violence feeling out of control. In the end, I'm limping from a really hard kick in the hip that is causing the leg to tingle like it's asleep, I have 2 lovely scratches, and the tip of my finger is swollen and throbs while it waits for the nail to come off. He managed to bite it with his molars and I couldn't get it out. I'm hoping the damage isn't permanent, it has lost so much of it's feeling that it almost feels like a dead man's finger on the print side. Very strange.

He ruptured the blood vessels in his face again. He has a couple of discolored spot on his face from when he his face on the floor over and over. He was very upset when he had blood in his mouth, mostly mine and some may have come from my nail scratching him in there while he bit me. We can't find a source and nothing on him hurts. Again, I am the only one hurt, as it should be. I can't wait for a time when none of us have to be hurt. I know he longs for that, too. He has been stuck to me like glue since. Terrified I will give up on him.

It was hard on Ruthie. She tried so hard not to be angry at me She couldn't hold on. If my DH hadn't been there, she would attacked me while I was trying to keep him safe. She was circling like she does right before. He had to come in and stand between us to prevent he going for it. She sobbed when I could finally sit with her to process her feelings. She doesn't understand why she does this. She feels an urge to stop me from holding him and at the same time she is terrified I will let go of him. Lately, she has been screaming, "Why did they do this to us? I hate them!" when she begins to calm down. She has begun to blame them for her bad feelings and urges to hurt me. Soon we will need to help her accept responsibility for her own actions. We do this now but still allow her to place some of it on them for making her so angry inside. It took a long time for her to allow herself to be angry at them.

As awful as all of this sounds, we love them and see progress. Enough to keep us trying and hoping they will learn to cope and be safe, most of all find happiness. ANy kind of change is stressful here. I imagine we will start to see long periods of calm. They are trying so hard. I love them so much. Sometimes, I wish I didn't love them. I could put them in a RTC and walk away. But I do and I can't. Today is another day. We will try to keep their illness far enough away to enjoy a little bit of each other's company. I will try to find the right amount of meds to keep them calm and not make them tired. I will find new and interesting ways to redirect and entertain them. I will find my packed cameras and place them in their play areas so I can leave them for a moment. We will keep finding a way to make this work and be safe for every one.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Smothering Them

It was a much calmer day. The boys played video games until Peyton chewed through the cord. Yes, you read that right. He is such a cute little booger and way more active than Kiera is. The girls played dress up, house, and school all day. I swear they can go through some outfits. They had out all my high heels and makeup.

The new three are well behaved and kind to others. I have to force myself to keep from smothering them with hugs and kisses when they remind my children to get along and apologize to each other. I know I will fall in love with them if they are here much longer. It's just so great to be able to tell them a rule and they do their best to follow it. Taelor even got Emma to clean without being forced to. She made it a game for Emma. If you know Emma, you know this had to be some kind of brainwashing or trick. She proudly refers to her self as my laziest child.

I should be sleeping but I can't seem to wind down.

It looks like they will be here until at least next Thursday. Their G Gma doesn't have childcare and has been subpoenaed to testify in the TPR hearing Wednesday. We spoke tonight and she is struggling with all of this. She is so in love with them and knows she will need to let them go. They love her, too. It will be very hard for Michael to leave her. Peyton and Taelor will hurt but I think it will be easier on them.

I was talking about school and grade levels today and found out that I would have 4 in 3rd grade plus a grandchild in 3rd at the same school. I hope they have enough different classes so they aren't in the same class with each other.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Arrest

It was stupid. I was stupid. I received a speeding ticket last July in my MIL's car. It is a tiny thing and I drive a huge 15 passenger van. It seemed like I was within the range of the limit but I wasn't even close. I was pulled over and ticketed. No biggie. I spoke to the lady at City Hall and mailed in a money order to pay for it. It kept nagging at me. I never received the receipt like she promised to mail me. I told my husband just days before I was arrested, I felt like I needed to call and check on it. I forgot to.

The Thursday before school let out, I stopped by the elementary school to pay for a library book. For some reason, I didn't put my van in park and it moved about 12-14 inches before bumping another car. No damage was done to either vehicle. I was in a hurry and suggested I give them my insurance information and both of us move on. She was a stupid woman that couldn't make a decision for herself and decided to call the police on me. She claimed she couldn't do that without the owner's approval. That led me to believe, it was a friend's car. I later found out it was her and her husband's car. Idiot. Anyway, I asked her to get him on the phone. I explained. He agreed to let it go with just trading information. We did that I was on my way.

I received a call about 20 minutes later that I had to return to the scene b/c I was going to be charged with leaving the scene of an accident. When I explained my side and the fact that I can't be charged with that b/c I had exchanged information and that's what is required by law. Then he began to get mean and threatened me with obstruction of justice. He was pissed. I agreed to meet him at my house. He checked out my van and began questioning me about my kids. It turns out, he was planning on arresting me and had to be sure I had someone that could watch my kids. He threatened to contact DFCS if I couldn't make arrangements immediately. Luckily, Rosa was on her way there and was able to help me out.

I was arrested, handcuffed, and placed in the back of a police car. Did you know they have A/C only in the front of the car? The giant plastic shield kept me from feeling any of it. I was taken to the county jail to be processed. The processing deputy took pity on me and kept me up front with her. I never saw a moment behind any locked door. My DH was already calling before she had a change to process me. She informed me I was being charged with driving on a suspended license. Nothing else. She also told me I had a bench warrant for failing to appear. I knew exactly what happened. She thought it was funny. She called and they refused to come transport me so I was going to be released.

As they walked me towards the door to my freedom, they called out for me to come back. I was inches away but followed their directions. Their head count was off. They had misplaced 2 prisoners. No one could come in or out until they were found. It took them 3 hours. They had a shift change in that time period and the new deputy saw I had the warrant. He took it upon himself to see if he could get them to come get me. It was a scary 4 minutes but in the end, they refused. I was released.

I worked it all out with the lady at City Hall a few days later. I was released from the charges and my license was reinstated. I still have to go to court over the driving without a license. I'm sure I will have to pay a fine but my life almost behind bars is over.

An Even Dozen

I'm back online. I thought it would never happen at the rate things moved. A lot has happened and will be happening. Here is the short version and I will go into details when I can.

We packed. I was arrested and sat in jail for a couple hours until they could locate 2 missing prisoners. We moved. I unpacked. I had my drivers license reinstated. I unpacked some more. Moved Rosa to her own house 2 miles away from our new house. Had a huge cookout for Kiera's family. Received a call that Emma's birth siblings from her Father's side were in need of a home. Talked back and forth with the kids CW and had an inspection. We are now waiting for their TPR to discuss our future.

Any questions? LOL

The kids names are Sawyer 9, Anna 7, and Wyatt 2. They all seem thoughtful and caring. They are a bit energetic and loud and we will have to work on toning things down a bit. Sawyer is mature and informative. He struggles with ADHD. Anna is a sweet girl that speaks her mind and needs clearly. Both of them look a lot like Emma. Wyatt has flaming red hair and blue eyes. He barely speaks and is a wild one. Kiera thinks he is her personal baby doll. She is fascinated with him. She hugged him until she fell asleep. He really likes her, too.

I'll have to get back to the arrest later. All is fine. I'm just an idiot. I got it all worked out and fixed.