Wednesday, April 28, 2010


I just received a call from DFCS asking why I wasn't claiming Ella's SSI on Kiera's Medicaid form. I insisted I had no idea she received it, ever. She told me to run, not walk, to the social security office and find out what's going on with it. She said she doesn't think it would stop and that it should be lifelong. She also suggested I get on the ball for the other kids because it has nothing to do with their adoption assistance amounts.

Anybody have any clue about why we wouldn't have been informed about Ella's SSI? Is SSI something you have to reapply for or could it have been discontinued for any reason? Anything I should know before filling out the SSI forms? Any advice would be appreciated.


If you are in GA, you need to go check this out. We are going as a family for $40! It covers everything except hotel. I'm calling it vacation and the kids don't know any better so don't tell them.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Another Loss and a Night Out

I am so excited about this weekend. My incredible MIL is coming to stay with the kids and I am escaping with my DH to my sister's. She is going to be out of town and we get to be ALONE! We are going to spend the day hours house hunting and the night will be spent drinking a large amount of wine and snoring. I can't wait. So far the kids are handling the idea well.

Patches has been weeping all afternoon. She found out today that her beloved parapro is leaving after tomorrow. She is devastated. I'm not so sure how well she will do the rest of the year. First the move and now this. I wish her teacher the best of luck. She has had a huge impact on Patches and is the main reason she has been so successful this year. (Please keep in touch! Take my cell # with you and call often.)

Thursday, April 22, 2010


The guy changed his mind before anything was drawn up. He started going back and forth until I finally told him it wouldn't work for us and I wished him well. Of course, I really think he is an idiot.

Patches had a really bad night last night and we are trying to decide if it would be beneficial to involve the juvenile justice system in the future. She wasn't pshychotic, she was pissed. She hates the state testing and has been taking it out on us. SHe is mad about moving and instead of talking about it, she is abusing me. I've had it. She ran away and I let her. SHe kept coming back and destroying our property then leaving again. I am to the point that when she starts screaming she hates me, for no reason, and I am not her real mom, I agree with her. I'm not her real mom. Thank goodness, too. She goes on and on about how wonderful her life was and how I stole her. I've never been one to engage in all the crap but it is getting old. They have been here 4 years! We have established that I am second best, I am mean, she is never going to love me or come see when she grows up, I am fat, I stole her from a loving family, she wants to live with another family, I am old, and I am stupid. Why do we have to go over it so often? Maybe I should put all their statements in writing and when they start I could hand them a copy. You know, so they don't miss one.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Not What I'd Dreamed of but...

We found a house. We made an offer. He accepted it. If all goes well, we should move mid June.

It's smaller than we'd hoped for. It currently has 4 bedrooms and 3 baths. No Play Room or Dining Room. The front door opens into a giant room that contains the LR and Kitchen. They are separated by a stone fireplace that goes to the top of the vaulted ceilings. There is a large back deck and tons of windows leading out to it. Master bed and bath are on the left and 2 bedrooms and a bath are on the right. There is a staircase that leads to the basement that has another bedroom and bath. On the other side is an over sized double garage. It is on .6 of an acre and is a great level fenced in yard. It is within the city limits and walking distance to town. He is so desperate, he took $30k less than he was asking. Our payment should drop at least a couple hundred a month from what we are paying now. It is about 4 miles from my sister's house.

The down side? We have to rip out the nasty carpet and it with hardwoods before we move in. It is completely white, walls, tile, cabinets, and vinyl. We have to paint first, too. It must be disinfected, it is filthy. We will have to quickly turn the garage into a Play Room and a separate Reptile Room. In the meantime, Michael's room will have to house all the toys. I would love to tackle the Kitchen and bring it up to date but that would have to wait for a year or so. I will have to go through every room here and get rid of stuff to fit comfortably. That's not a bad thing other than I don't want to go through it all. LOL We will fit fine once I do that.

Patches has already asked to wallpaper her walls with her favorite actor. Cyr cried her eyes out and then tried to find ways to be excited. The little kids are thrilled. They do not like their current school and want to go. They all want to be close to their beloved Kiki and cousins.

Friday, April 16, 2010

The Girl With The Crazy Sister

Today is Cyr's birthday. All went well until I asked a few kids to do Cyr's chore for her. It did not go over well. One thought the other was being mean (read delusional thinking, as usual) and the other tried to help until they were smacked by the first one. The first one ended up sitting on the floor banging on things to ruin our movie and eventually began to amp things up a bit by threatening the younger kids. Not so unusual around here, right? We have 2 kids over tonight. Her fit made quite the scene, especially when she began to refer to me as a "fat bitch" and banged the end of the outside hose with it's attachment against the house. We scurried the kids off to their room and ran around her trying to prevent too much damage to her and our things. Good times. She always feels so bad about herself afterward. They all do. They hate they escalate to this level and are unable to stop until it's all out.

Last night was fun. It was another child's turn to flip out. I'm going to be cryptic but if you've read the entire blog, you will know what and who I'm talking about. We have 2 children that have an unhealthy bond. One has a new "love" interest that is returned. The other is extremely jealous and has feelings that they wish it was them. Not that they want a BF/GF, they want to have that person all for themselves. This child flipped out and had to be removed from a room to protect others. They were throwing stuff at me and hitting me when they went in for a bite. I grabbed their hair to keep them from it and had to hold them for some time, hurting my foot again in the process. I am pissed. I was just able to walk normally on it. This child ran away and screamed in the street until Cyr and I finally calmed her. She screamed, "Why did they make me like this? I hate them for making me feel like this!" I was so impressed with her insight about her feelings I almost forgot she had attacked me earlier like a wild animal. She is coping much better today.

I feel sorry for the future mates of my children. They are in for a tough road.

Completely inappropriate, Cyr expressed she is terrified she will be known as the girl with the crazy sister. I said, "Better to be known as the girl with the crazy sister than the girl that gives head." I'm not sure where that came from but it made sense to her and she agreed. I really need to work on thinking before I speak. This is going to be a difficult hurdle for her. Teens care what others think about them. She has 2 sisters coming up behind her that are going to humiliate her, daily. How do I convince her to be empathetic when it is such a difficult thing for her anyway? I suppose my sisters could say I humilated them, too. I also beat the booty of anyone that hurt them so that kinda made up for it. Maybe her sisters could be trained to protect her. LOL I can see Patches kicking some boys butt because he made Cyr cry.

One of my girls is obsessed with a movie star in The New Moon. OBSESSED! Everyone gets crushes on movie stars or rock stars, it's normal. She believes she will be his girlfriend. I tried to explain to her about the reality of that happening and this child is convinced I am wrong and if she could get away without me following her around, she could find him and make him her's. I see a future movie star stalker. I'm serious. It's weird. I think she could convince herself she is his girlfriend. I know it is a symptom of her illness and it scares the heck out of me. Please stop letting her watch that movie at school. It only feeds her delusion. She may tell you it's OK and she knows the difference but it's only to get her way and see him again. She is having dreams about him and says she wants to go to sleep to be with him. How about The Princess and the Frog or Zombieland? Anything would be better than the Werewolf. Oh she says she knows they are meant to be together because he looks like her. SHe believes he is a werewolf and will protect her. Her Nanny told her to friend him on FaceBook. I can't wait to see how that goes.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Could It Be True?

Since the med addition, my son and Ruthie have been less violent! It took a couple of days but I can see huge changes in my son. He has let me redirect him several times and even repeated the words I asked him to when he was being mean to another child. It was amazing! He usually flips out and takes an hour to get it back together so he can do it. He is still having auditory hallucinations but has even been able to find humor in it. He laughed and said, "It's just me again" when he realized no one else was hearing someone outside throwing things at the house and running back in forth in the leaves. I was so shocked, I just stared at him. He forgot to set out his clothes and do his chore but smiled and did it when asked. I mean he is a different kid. I am so happy for him. He seems to be having fun now. Whoo Hoo!

This is our week for the state mandated testing. I have several that are completely freaked out by ANY testing and had to take meds this morning to cope. The last thing I told them as they left this morning was to make sure they made a bunch of mistakes on the test so they can stay in elementary school forever and be my babies. They all laughed and swore to try, for my sake.

I have a few houses to look at Sunday. It is so hard to find one big enough for us in our price range. We have to have 5 bedrooms or 4 with an unfinished basement, a 2 car garage, big eat in kitchen, both a LR and a Den, hardwoods on main level, and a yard bigger than a postage stamp in a certain city. I've already given in to a few things like a yard trumps hardwoods and a 5th bedroom. I'm still hopeful but getting frustrated.

Friday, April 09, 2010

Spring Is Here

We are surviving Spring Break. Ruthie, Ella, Ava, and Emma spent several nights at my MIL's. Ruthie lost her crap over there proving to her (I hope) that it is not me that makes her act that way, as she has constantly stated for the last year. She was able to get it together and stay the rest of the time there. Emma left from there and went to her Mother's so they could leave for their FL vacation. Michael and Patches left today to go to Kiki's but Michael was picked up to spend the weekend with his aunt and uncle. We stole Brooklyn, my niece, for the weekend.

Still house hunting. Still nothing.

We have officially packed up all our winter clothes. Let me tell you, it's no easy feat. We are trying to down size our lives a little before the move and it was great to send 12 bags of clothes to my sister's and Emma's Mom's. After getting rid of everything we don't need I was able to see what we really do. I ran by my favorite thrift store and picked up some short for my 2 oldest and my son. He has finally gotten big enough to go up a size. I bought him tons of size 6 before he moved in because he was 6 yrs old and it has taken him 4 years to out grow it. He will be 10 in a couple months. He has been retained twice in school and is still the smallest in his class. I ordered sandals tonight for a couple of kids and the rest just traded down to the next kid from last year. I think that is the best part in clothing so many kids, they just pass their stuff down. Someone will wear it.

Friday, April 02, 2010

Playing Hookie

Most of the kids had a day off school this week to go to the psychiatrist and therapy. Emma and Cyr did not. In fact, Emma has only missed 3 days this year so she stayed home with me for some Mom Time. Cyr was not allowed b/c we had Mom Time when she was suspended earlier in the year.

Emma will be at her other Mom's house next week and then they are off to FL. This will be her sist's first view of the ocean so it will be special. The best part is that her Mom will be going with all 4 of her girls. I couldn't be happier for her. She deserves these special moments and to do it with all 4 makes it even better. She has struggled to be in the life of 1 of the girls after she was adopted by a family member. Now she sees her almost every weekend. Her Mom has done so much to imporve herself and stepped up to be the parent she knew her kids needed. I love her so much and am so proud of her. I remember a time she didn't think she would ever be so clean and free of that lifestyle. I never doubted it. I always knew she was a diamond in the rough.