Thursday, January 31, 2008

Sick Kids, Lying Adults, and a Quick Finger

Ava and Shyanne are home from school with a fever, nasty cough, and sniffles. Their little faces are so red.

Frankee's sister called me last night to tell me that she was filing for Legal Custody not Legal Guardianship. I had asked a few days before what the difference was and the way she explained I thought she was just calling it something else to make herself sound more knowledgeable. (she does that a lot) Turns out what it REALLY means is she is terminating Frankee's parental rights but not adopting Shyanne. She is going to trick her into this b/c she doesn't want her moved again. Not very nice and I spilled the beans. She also doesn't want her to visit her child in the future and this would assure that. I agree that she is not responsible to take the child out but to refuse contact is not in the child's best interest. I am very disappointed in her sister and do not think I can move forward with this. I am not sure how much I can fight this or if I have a leg to stand on but I feel very strongly that this child needs her Mother in her life even if it has to be supervised. I am hoping they are able to work things out and do guardianship so I won't have to step up. Frankee is very depressed again and it is entirely possible she will just sign the paperwork.

On a stupid note, I still check the child listings occasionally and even keep a list of kids I might be interested in to see when they find a family. Most of you know the big listing of waiting children in foster care around the country that I am talking about. I accidently sent off an inquiry on the big group of 6 that are new on there. I could kick myself, that poor SW is probably thinking, "WOW that was fast. Someone interested in such a large group is hard to find, we are so lucky." Tthen I have to tell her when she responds that I clicked the wrong button. We can't even consider another group for at least 6 months post adoption and I am not sure if we will be ready yet or not. The kids are doing so good right now but with Cyr's recently discovered issues I just think waiting is good. I am in love with this group on the listing though they are all under 10 and are Hispanic. Of course they have some issues and one they think may be autistic. I love a challenge and since we don't have one with that yet I would get to do more research. Not ready though, well, not today at least, maybe tomorrow. LOL
Too bad for Ava that she is the cutest when she is mad at me. It is so hard for me to be mad back. When I smile she will stick out her tongue hoping for a negative reaction from me but it always makes me laugh. I gotta work on my pout face.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008


Cyr loves to sit back and quietly push buttons. This is her thing. She is loved by everyone that meets her, she likes everything they do and she doesn't get mad. What they can't see is she is stealing their things, manipulating them, back stabbing them, and getting back at them in her sly little ways.

I got to thinking the other day it has been a long time since I have had a pile of her clothes. I checked her private bathroom and found it FULL of them. She was asked to clean them up, my bad for not being specific so yesterday I found them jam packed under her sink. I think it has to be everything the child owns b/c now that I think back I am not sure she has had any clothes cleaned since she moved down there. Gross! I also discovered she has been listening to Frankees conversations on the other extension. Rude? She stole a very nice razor from Frankee's bathroom and hid it in her's. EEWW! I check her email account sometimes to see if she is being appropriate and discovered she is "dating" the brother of her neighborhood friend and she had been emailing Frankee weird things. ("I like you more than I like my Mom." "You are so cool and funny, my Mom sucks." and other lovely sentiments) No wonder he was at the bus stop this morning for the first time ever, she snuck out yesterday when MIL was babysitting, and she is hiding with the phone. She has stopped doing her homework and has D s in 4 or 5 areas. Those are just the things I caught yesterday. She quietly manipulates my DH and tries to make him feel sorry for her until I step in and he sees the whole picture. (Don't get me wrong he knows she is trying to do something but he just can't figure out what until I tell him.) She also bullied Ella into trading back packs with her so she could have a cute one and Ella could have her old one.

I can't wait to see her non reaction when I address these issues with her. She will not respond and will take any consequence quietly making sure I never know if it angered her. She will even laugh about it at some point like it was so funny.

A Night Off

Last night my DH and I ran some errands and had my MIL watch the kids for us b/c Frankee was supposed to be picked up before the kids got home from school. She did not and ended up fussing with my MIL all evening. My MIL is deaf and wears a hearing aide to help but still misses most of what you say, she THINKS she gets it all and will even respond as though she is following you. It helps her deal with the kids, she misses most of the arguing and running around b/c she can't hear it. She does keep them close for safety but she just can't hear them. Frankee was shocked and upset that they got so loud and were running around the house, she told them so many times. MIL didn't think anything was wrong and got mad at Frankee. MIL fed the kids ice cream, huge bowls with cookies in it. We don't do that and Frankee was upset that she gave crazy acting kids a treat. MIL is easily snowed by the kids and Frankee hears their lies and reacts like they are lies. I will be talking to the kids about their screaming and running but the rest I think I will chalk up to Grandma Time. Yes, they manipulate her but she lets them. She is free and she likes to do it, I figure don't look a gift horse in the mouth, right? I came home to a clean house, laundry almost caught up, kids that were bathed and fed, and they were all alive. What more can I ask for? LOL

Frankee has rescheduled her departure for today. I think she is going to switch Shyanne's guardianship to her sister and that is fine by me. The sad thing is she will not see her and will never get her back. She is aware this is the case and knows I will do whatever it takes for he to have a relationship with her child but there is a chance she would get her back with me. She needs to destroy that chance. I am sad for both of them but it is her choice. I am grateful she will be leaving on good terms with us, she is laughing and smiling instead of ignoring me so that is a step in the right direction.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

A picture may be worth a thousand words but this one may be worth $10,000. My DH has bred genetically altered reptiles for years and this is his latest hook up. These are altered redtail boas. It works much like dog breeding, you breed the ones together with the qualities you like to get more of what you like. You would never find either one of these in the wild, they are man made colors. He breeds wild colors of Leopard Geckos and several kinds of Boas. He has his own little set up in the basement, his own dishwasher, sink, cabinets, and freezer (for the bags of frozen rats). He loves his hobby and struggles to keep it just that, a hobby. If he won the lottery this would be his daytime job, after of course the new transmission and tires.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Very Bad News

Before I get into the VERY BAD NEWS, I wanted to tell Mongoose that she is one of the kindest and most supportive folks, I really appreciate the offer but I have to decline. You are putting my family before your own needs and I will always remember this, if I can ever do anything for you please let me know. I am here.

On to the freaking me out, making me cry bad stuff. I have complained before about Frankee's poor choices with men and her MySpace account. She has met 50+ weird people on there and Friday I saw she had pictures of MY kids on there so I asked her to remove them. Not that bad you say to yourself, that is not the bad part. Friday night she comes home from work with some car following her and announces she is going out for the night with Chris. I think Chris is someone from work and remind her she needs to be home by 9AM to watch a few kids so I can attend AT. She surprised me and was home at 7:30AM but hung over, AGAIN. This has become an EVERY weekend event and she is so focused on her getting drunk and going out every weekend that her search for playmates for it begin on Monday. Anyway, she needed a ride to work Saturday and Sunday night and this Chris volunteers to drive over an hour each way to take her and then come back to bring her home. I am thinking weird guy, something is wrong with him. Then I find out he doesn't work with her he met her on the Internet and is only doing this b/c he likes her. Oh No! She then tell me yesterday he is kinda freaking her out but lets him drive to pick her up anyway. She calls from work and says he mentioned "prison" a few times and is making her feel uncomfortable so look him up online. OMG! Turns out he is not only an ex convict still on parole due to his VERY recent discharge after 8 yrs in prison but his crimes are very violent. He has 2 counts of aggravated assault (attempted murder here), discharge of a fire arm (how he tried to kill 2 people), and 2 felony counts of possession of a controlled substance (cocaine). Then after he was released on a property bond he went somewhere and was convicted of 1st degree Arson (they had to prove he planned the act before doing it and intended serious if not fatal injury to someone) and possession of explosives. I hope it was not an ex girlfriend. My new BIL is the Asst. CHief of Police over there and offered to pull up the reports for me.

Needless to say, we have had to ask her to move out immediately. This worries me greatly b/c she is bipolar and can be quite vindictive, her daughter can not go with her, and who knows what she will tell this guy about why she has to move. I talked to Frankee's sister last night and she wants Shyanne back immediately. We can't legally do that either. It really doesn't look like Frankee is going to get her crap together so we need to think long term family for this child. I am more than willing to have her stay here but she does have family that wants her so if Frankee wants that I will do what I can to help. I know we can't just transfer guardianship, it doesn't work that way. How sad for that little girl?

On a better note, my husband's very expensive snakes have hooked up so this year we are going to Disney World! (if they actually have live babies and not slugs that is)

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Too Much on My Plate Today

My van is taking a crap on me. Well, just the transmission. If any of you that were not angered into sending me hate email privately after the last post have a love for fixing transmissions for free please come on over and have at it. I am very discouraged b/c it is not something I can afford right now or in the near future and it means the kids will miss their therapies indefinitely until we lose our providers. That is, of course, unless we are granted a miracle windfall of a couple of thousand dollars in the lottery I always forget to play. Oh as long as I am wishing for things, how about tires b/c the back ones are slick enough to question if there ever was tread.

On a therapy note, Cyr refused to participate in AT. She was stone faced the entire time the therapist talked about the horrible things she has done to her siblings until recently. We were very direct but made sure she didn't feel like a bad person b/c of it. After 30 minutes of nothing from her, we left and she acted like nothing happened. I am really worried about her. Her consequence for not participating is we get to discuss it alone at my convenience and since I can't "schedule" it she will have to forgo all her plans this weekend to be ready when I can sit down with her.

I am so tired today I am sure I will doze w/o meaning to (kids can't be trusted so it is out of the question). Shyanne does not sleep past about 5:30AM and DH was up coughing all night. With my sleep issues coming up again for the last week I feel dead on my feet.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

A Little Venting Does a Body Good

I have noticed twice in the last week people posting on about foster parents being called Mom and Dad. It really pisses me off that they do this and let me explain why. THEY ARE FOSTER PARENTS! Temporary until adoption becomes the plan. Young children do not understand this and by letting (b/c I know it just comes out of their little mouths) them do this confuses them when they either go home or end up in an adoptive home. My kids lingered in foster care for 6.5 years, they were all extremely young when they entered and called ALL of their foster parents Mom and Dad. I know the FP meant well, I adore the couple that kept them the most and know they really loved the kids. This is part of the reason my kids can't grasp that I am different, they have had 12-15 Moms so what makes me so special? I have tried to explain they have a Mother, they have had Foster Mothers, and I am Mom. SO what lady, I called them all Mom and they said they loved me, they all left. I believe Foster Parents are a very special person in a child's life, they can be the one that saved them, helped them through their pain, been the first person to really care about them or show them attention, they are heroes but they are not their Mother until the plan goes to adoption. They have the role of Mother and they do all kinds of crap work to help the child but is being called Mom the reason they do it? No, they do it to make a difference in a child's life. Being called Mom doesn't make the job easier or more fulfilling so please consider that when a child calls you Mom. Please don't feel I attacked it's just me opinion and it is something we are having a hard time with.

The other thing is our damn bus driver. I have told him, the school has told him, and the county office has told him to move Cyr to the front near him to protect other children and he won't. He is the same idiot that said he couldn't report a violent child b/c her Dad was yelling at him at the bus stop. He decided to allow my children to be assaulted instead.

Done, I feel better now so thanks for listening.

I forgot to add...who is from Cumming, GA? We are neighbors so please speak up!

A Tick?

Patches has been doing this weird thing with her eyes and a jerking movement with her head, it took me awhile to figure out she is winking at me. LOL I thought she had developed a tick! She is so funny, she is doing this 10 to 12 times a day for the last week or so. My kids are so uncoordinated. I will try to get this on video b/c I swear you will laugh out loud, she looks like something is wrong with her.

Michael has been doing extremely well for the last few weeks and I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall. Even Patches has calmed quite a bit. Ava has decided it isn't worth it to be the last person for EVERYTHING since I began having her do jumping jacks to speed her up. Cyr's response to things is so blah it makes me want to force her to react. Won't do it but want to.

My DH is sick and wants me to play nurse maid. Sorry don't have time for it.

Our male AT is so funny, we are starting to get to know each other and he is becoming comfortable with teasing me. Not inappropriately, just putting me in a spot in front of the kids. Yesterday he decided it would be funny to have me tell the kids a story but instead of giving me a warning he just said, "Hey Mom why don't you tell Ava about the duck that lived with the geese." Of course this is with a huge smile on his face. OK, I need a little more than that to make up a story, what is the goal here? He did give me a bit more info when asked but turned around and did it again with Ella. This time it was an injured bird so I knew what he was getting to. At least he is being entertained by watching me squirm.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Thank goodness that is over, the kids are all back in school today and I can clean up the house. They were all very well behaved but the constant presence confirmed I can not home school them. It is something we have tossed around due to the school's disbelief in RAD.

Frankee started her new job and was irritated it took her 30 minutes to get 10 miles. SHe has to pass the biggest mall in our state and it happens at traffic time, DUH. I begged her to look closer and this side of the mall but she insisted no one was hiring. I found several places within a mile that were hiring but I guess she didn't like them.

The lady that owns our house has disappeared again and before we could get her to sign the paperwork. I am so disappointed and angry. We are going to worry for the next few months and if she doesn't show up we have decided to walk away and cut our losses.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

We got so much more snow yesterday. What is up with the weather here? I swear last year we only had a few flurries one time and they didn't even make it to the ground before melting. The kids played all day in the snow or should I say slush in the yard. It did manage to freeze up really well last night and make some of the road nasty with black ice.

The best thing is Michael went on his first play date. Yes, he was very well behaved and can't wait to go back. They took him sledding in the park and fed him homemade cookies, now he wants to live with them. He was so excited b/c their family has 3 little boys and NO GIRLS, heaven for him. LOL

Tomorrow we have 7 dentist appointments at 8AM and I am not sure what I was thinking when I made the appointments but we will go anyway.

Friday, January 18, 2008

A Cup of Pee and an Attempt on My Life

After a lovely IEP meeting with Ruthie's teachers I received a call from Frankee that I needed to hurry home. She had to be left with the kids for about 20 minutes so I could attend the meeting and she was furious about something. Turns out she found a plastic cup full of pee in the bathroom. Yes, someone actually thought it would be cool to get a cup from the kitchen, pee in it, and leave it for someone else to find. I knew right away who it was but of course had to be sure so I set everyone down in the living room and asked. No one jumped up and begged forgiveness but Patches raised her hand, the culprit had confessed to her. I am sure you had already guessed it was Ava. I asked her if it was true and she nodded.

I remained very calm and we did some snuggle time. We had a long hard talk about why other kids do these kinds of things. She admitted she is mad at me for hollaring at her, sending her to her room sometimes, and for making her do her chore. She also admitted she is mad at her Mother for not taking care of her and making her come here. She is such a sad little girl. I told her how awesome she is, how much I love her even if she wanted surround herself with cups of pee, explained my job as her Mother was to teach her lessons that she might not want to learn, and told her I will never give up on her. Her AT had decided to step her up a bit and I completely agree, she is very disturbed.

I cut Ella's hair last night and she is possibly the cutest kid ever. Ruthie needed her bangs trimmed and she, too, is a cutie.

We had quite scare yesterday, Frankee had run out of gas in my van and had to get a can of gas and walk back and fill it up. She set the can in the van and grabbed me a grilled chicken sandwich and put the bag next to the can. I guess it soaked up the gas into my sandwich b/c when I was eating it it tasted weird and I kept smelling gas. I assumed Frankee was what smelled and the soggy sandwich had just been sitting too long. I was wrong. Of course, I finished the sandwich and my throat started burning so I called Poison Control. SHe had indeed tried to kill me but wasn't successful this attempt. I have been teasing her since, she feels terrible. She swears she will think it through before she tries again.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

The Sky is Falling

We were at OT all afternoon and my DH called to say it was snowing where he was. We got updates his entire ride home and eventually saw it coming down where we were. The kids were thrilled to say the least. I posted pictures of them before dinner playing in it. Here in the South we must enjoy it quickly b/c it will probably not stick and will be gone before you get up. It was. Kids had to goto school b/c it never got below freezing. They were not happy.

You can see the grass showing through the tiny bit of snow but hey Patches got all the kids on a borrowed snowboard and down the yard they went.

We had several kids try to make snow angels. It was too funny.

Cyr, Shayanne, Michael, Ruthie, Emma, Ella, and Ava. Patches was on the phone with her "boyfriend" talking about nothing but he snow instead of enjoying it. Ruthie had to hide her pants b/c she peed and was afraid I would make her go in.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Two Days in One Post

A lot has happened today and not much to do with the kids. I got up this morning and got the kids off to school with only an issue from Shyanne. She is really begining to show her booty and her Mother claims it has to do with MY kids, I do not think so. She is angry at her Mother and rightfully so. Frankee refuses to consider her child has issues b/c her life has been better than hers. Frankee was beaten, starved, and locked in small places for entertainment by her step mother and father so anything is better than that, right? This is hard to explain to Frankee since it means she would have to admit she hasn't been a good parent. Frankee gets so angry at the child for having a bit of a fit and engages in the power struggle giving the child too many choices. She lost it this morning over what to wear, Shyanne wants to wear jeans but didn't have any clean. Frankee felt bad b/c she doesn't have many pairs of jeans. After 10 minutes of screaming at each other Frankee spanked her. We do not spank here and we are having a sit down tonight about it.

This morning I decided to visit a local support group for parents with children under stress. It is a great organization and the first meeting I have attended. I got a strange call from the founder of the organization at 8:30AM and thought something was up. I asked her if it was a small meeting trying to get a feel for the reason she really called. She was polite and asked for me to call her after to tell her how I liked it. I told Frankee and my DH that I would be in charge of this group within a month or two. Only one person showed up and she was a freak show. After an hour and 40 minutes of being held hostage this woman, I knew I was right. She has 3 kids and NONE of them have any kind of disability. I think came face to face with someone with Munchausen by Proxy. She admitted the school and doctors kept telling her her children were fine but she kept telling these stories about how they had to have a protein shake to gain weight. I asked how old and how much he weighed and started laughing, yes out loud. Her son is 8 and weighs 58#, my son is 7.5 and weighs 43#. Who needs the protein shake now? That is only one of the weird things she said and probably the mildest. She tried to give me advice and when I corrected her she tried to talk in circles around me.

I called the office when I got home and asked how I could help increase participation in this group. She asked a few questions and I answered honestly, she told me she was afraid of that and asked me to consider taking the group over. Turns out she had already asked our OT about me and had the idea in her head this morning when we talked. I am excited b/c it only meets once a month and would put us on the top of the list for all the fun stuff they do and provide for families like us.

All of the above was from Tuesday but I couldn't get it to post so I just saved it.

This morning we went to AT with Ella and Michael. Ella has this issue answering adults, she won't she just stands there silently staring at you refusing to speak. We can't quite figure out the issue, does she think she is in trouble, is about control, does she understand the question, does her brain not process quick enough to respond? The AT is convinced it is control, he was able to see it first hand today and said there is no doubt. Great, another game I have to win. We started neurofeedback today and for those of you that understand it (not me, yet) she is 7 to 1. I guess it is not good b/c she and Michael will begin to do this at home with me very soon. He noticed Ella's head is flat in the back and commented on how kids head's become flat. I already knew, she spent most of her time in a crib and considering she had Cerebral Palsy she was left there alot longer than her twin. I knew about the flat spot but it made me so sad all over again for her.

I am not telling anyone in real life but I can share with you that I have exercised and eaten right for 3 days. I even stopped and fed my son fast food (we do it every Wed after AT b/c he checks in after lunch) and didn't eat a bite. I later had a salad and diet drink. Woo Hoo, Me! The holidays and some kind of after adoption let down thing has added 10 more pounds. I knew something was up when my stretchy jeans started to fit and my granny panties became thongs. I am over 200# and am only 5'5". I don't mind being fluffy but this is getting pathetic. I have made excuses about not wanting sagging skin but come on, I will happily tuck my stomach into my jeans to be a size 12. So here it goes I want to drop from a size 18 to a 12.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Too Many Good Days

I knew coming into this that I would never be appreciated, treated with the respect they automatically have for their first family, and I knew of the possibility of never being loved. I am screamed at every day, if not every hour, by one of my traumatized children. I can take, "Your not my Mother", "I hate you", and my favorite is "Your a F&^%$# B$%&*" most days, today is not one of those days. I went off of Patches a few minutes ago and I do not regret it, yet. What is it I have done to her that make her so angry at me? Nothing I could have done deserves this level of nasty treatment. I am not sure what is sending me over the edge today but I am there. I am tired of being held hostage by my kids and I am not sure what or how but I am going to dazzle the socks off of them in hopes to shake things up in a new way around here. You just hide and watch.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Emma and Her New Look

Emma has been complaining about having a difficult time seeing the board at school. I have blown her off for the last YEAR b/c she is so dramatic and is desperate for glasses like her sisters. On Wednesday I was in there getting Patches and Cyr's new glasses ordered and Emma wouldn't hush so I asked the lady if there was a way to determine if it was wishful or hopeful. She did a preliminary test and then agreed with Em so we scheduled an appointment for her this morning with the doctor. She did very well and does, in fact, need glasses. She was so excited she bounced around the store for an hour trying on EVERY pair in stock before choosing these. They have a Hannah Montana sticker on one eye and another on the arm of the other side but you get the idea. Patches is getting the same ones but in pink. These girls are so darn cute but I will have to post pictures with their's when the real ones come in.

Afterward we headed for some lunch where she freaked out about the sun and told everyone that she was getting glasses. (Like they couldn't tell from her dark temp glasses to protect her eyes and the large sticker on her shirt)

Cyr has been buddying up to Frankee and even Frankee has noticed it is weird. This morning Cyr got up 2 hours early and refused to feed the dog. She always feeds him and it is her chore so I was surprised she just didn't do it. When I asked her about it I told her it was mean and how would she like it if I just decided not to feed her until dinner? She doesn't have empathy for others so I frequently try to help her see the other side. She also doesn't have any significant emotions so she barely responded. Most kids would argue their point or become irritated in some way about it but she is just quiet and stares at you. Evidently, I did get her upset on some level b/c I caught her leaning over my coffee and spitting into it. Nice, huh? I won't leave that unattended again. I should have thanked her for reminding me not to trust her.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

The House

We found our home last Spring and had to have it. We have done so much work to it and spent so much money on it and looking back it was a mistake. We agreed to do a 2 yr lease and purchase the home after the owners divorce was final so she would not have to share any profit with her drug addicted soon to be ex husband. Since that time we have been visited by multiple repo guys in the middle of the night looking for her, Enterprise Rental Cars at 7 am, and harassed by lawyers looking to file criminal charges against her. We began receiving certified mail for her several months ago but had no idea what they were for until the lawyer reached us and filled us in. She has lost all of her homes (3 other ones besides the one we are in), stopped paying her car payments on 2 cars and they are looking to arrest her for theft, and rented a car and never returned it. She began using crack shortly after we moved in and told my DH she was trying to get rid of the new boyfriend and quit using. She has disappeared.

When we moved in we had a ton of work to do here b/c the house had mysteriously flooded right after we signed the agreement. I thought it was suspicious but had no proof. She told us her insurance company would pay for all the repairs and even offered to give the work to my DH so we could earn some money and get it done correctly. She hummed and hawed about the check and told us to take it off the first 2 months rent and she would get her check and just pay the mortgage company. We have heard through the grape vine she never paid the mortgage. Last October and November we had such a hard time reaching her that we asked to pay the mortgage company directly and she agreed. It was after that we were informed she had so many other issues and it is possible we could be thrown out w/o notice by the mortgage company if they decide to foreclose.

We are scared to death and can't live with that possibility looming over us. We are looking for another house and fast. We are sure we will have to leave this school district and it breaks my heart for the kids. We are in a neighborhood now and feel it is best to be in a more country setting for the kids to have room to move around. OK, scream w/o worrying about the neighbors thinking we are beating them is more accurate. (LOL) We were in the same house for 7 yrs and now we have moved twice in 2 yrs, this is not fun.

I will post more about the houses that we have come across later.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

I am so proud of Patches, she has finally said she is mad at her parents. We all knew she was mad and she has screamed numerous times about her parents but she has never said they were wrong about anything. This whole theft thing has thrown her for a loop. Have I mentioned I love her AT? She is aggressive and pushes this child to places she is terrified to go. I am very proud of the hard work she has been doing in AT and at home.

Cyr's grades have dropped dramatically. I think she hid the report cards and their envelopes b/c I can't find them anywhere.

Emma, Ava, Michael, and Cyr have been bullyed on the bus by some bratty kid. I spoke to the bus driver and he is scared of the Dad so he doesn't report her. Not good.
We have recently had the pleasure of having to pee outside at my sisters and then at a house we were looking at. It was difficult to convince the kids to squat out of sight and go, not to mention the whole be careful not to go on yourself thing. That was this weekend and I guess they assumed it would be ok to try this anywhere now that they had the skills. So there is your background for what happened yesterday. We were leaving for OT and SPeech in a hurry as usual and my DH pulled up so I hopped out to explain dinner directions for maybe 2 or 3 minutes. In this time a couple of my kids ran out of the van to use the restroom and when I turned around I asked them to get back in so and go at OT. They revealed their plan to me......they were all getting out to pee in the yard! Somehow I forgot to explain over the weekend that we only do this in the woods. WHEW!!!! I am so glad I caught them before they dropped their britches in my front yard.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

The Visit with Nanny and Poppa

I was warned by both the kids' aunt and their Poppa that he lived like Sanford and Son. They were exagerating a bit but it was like a treasure hunt for the kids. They started out beautifully dressed and well behaved and ended covered in black dirt (something we do not see much of here in red clay country so I thought it was poop!). The kids were obnoxious and difficult to keep up with. At one point I didn't hear them so I went out back and they had climbed in some random car. Their Nanny refused to tell them "No" about anything and I found myself being irritated.

While we were there it was discovered that the kids' parents had broken into their Great Poppa's house on the back of the property (again) and stolen his entire social security check. Their Poppa was more than a bit angry b/c he had suspected them but everyone knew it when the aunt admitted she had spoken to them earlier and they had told her they won the lottery and it was, you guessed it, the same amount they were missing. The last time money went missing it was the night before they went on their first vacation ever to the beach. It amazes me how stupid they are being. Anyway, their Poppa asked ME for advice. I just told him I would have called the police the last few times and I would definitely do it this time. If anyone else had broken in he would call the police, it is worse behavior b/c they are family and he is a very old man with nothing to begin with. I got a call last night from their aunt and he really did call the police. I am so proud he is standing up for himself. I am concerned about something their Mother said, she claims her mother did it b/c she is the only one with a key to his locked box. I wouldn't be surprised if they both did it. How sad is that?

After we left, the kids were awesome, filthy but awesome. We headed to my sister's new house WAY out in the country. They had a bonfire and fed us sandwiches. We took a flashlight and went in 2 abandoned houses on either side of her property. It looks like people just up and moved out, everything in it's place for 15 or so years. It was more than creepy. In the back of her property she has a very small coffin. When they bought the house they found it and called the police. It had a bag of rotten flesh in it but all the cops took was the bag. It looked like someone bagged a baby and just threw it out there. Weird to say the least.

Patches had a very good session in AT this week. Michael is driving me insane with his throwing things and crying (remember crying is progress for him). Ava is attached to me at all times (ok, except when she sneaks off and I have to go find her). Emma has a friend spend the night. Cyr is spending too much time with her Dad and told the AT I am never any fun. Ruthie is acting like a baby today. Ella is off pull ups again and hoping this will be the last time she needs them.

Today is Ella and Ava's 6th birthday. They have requested doughnuts for breakfast and one wants steak for dinner while the other wants cake for dinner. I think I can handle those requests.

We have an issue with our house that I will post about later. Keep your fingers crossed things go well.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

The School Thinks I am the Crazy One

I talked to the school about Ava's plan to tell them I hurt her and am mean so they will call the police and put me in jail and she can go live with the teacher that loves her. It did not go well. Our AT seemed pretty concerned that there will be more things like this to follow after talking to Ava. He felt strongly enough that he offered to take the time to visit the school with his partner (our other AT) if this meeting didn't go well.

They were polite at first and listened to me tell them how we have discovered she is stealing, lying, and destroying so many things in our home. I told them that those things make her plan scary for us and the AT does not feel she has any bond with us at all. The school counselor spoke up and dismissed everything I said as normal childhood behaviors. I immediately became defensive and a little snotty back. I agreed that it would be normal to want to live with a nice teacher but not to make a plan to get rid of your parent to do so. She was quiet and stayed busy filling out the forms. The teacher and the parapro did not want to hurt Ava by telling her they did not love her and she couldn't live with them. I had to say it and then they half heartedly repeated it.

The counselor piped up at the end and asked what I wanted them to do instead of hugging her b/c she is going to feel so left out w/o their praise. I told her not to make such a big deal about it b/c it is against THEIR rules to hug a child and I just needed them to enforce that rule. Give the kid verbal praise or a high five. What is so darn hard about this?

When it was over I felt they really didn't want to believe me and I was escorted out of the room while they were motioned to stay in there. I was in the office getting Ava ready to leave for at least 5 minutes and they were still in there talking about us. I am disappointed. I feel this is not the end of this b/c these are the same folks that have informally been asking our kids alot of questions about us and our family life.

Carmine, the kids came without meds at all. After a year we decided to try some and now I have 2 on Prozac, Ruthie and Patches. It helped Ruthie stop the crying and Patches began to control her anger so she could become more social. It has worked beautifully for both of them. Ava began on Prozac but her weird behaviors increased and she was switched to Zoloft. She had been crying for hours a day about nothing significant and that was decreased drastically. Michael takes Risperdal and it has saved his sanity and mine. He is no where near as violent as he was. He had been trying to fling himself from second story windows and attacking me like a windmill. The AT thinks Ava will benefit from Risperdal as well and at our next appointment I have a letter from him to encourage her to prescribe it. I have several on Melatonin, Emma, Cyr, Patches, Michael, and Shyanne.

No one will ever convince me their SW didn't know what we were in for b/c they asked us repeatedly if we would commit to them no matter what and the kids couldn't take another loss. That is a big DUH, no kid could take another loss easily. The FP and therapist that we talked to all felt they had attachment issues. They were all aware of sexual acting out amongst the siblings and no one warned us until we reported that we were seeing it. The SW down played every question we had and any issue that came up.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

My Future Rock Star

I thought I would throw in a funny picture of my son with a pink guitar, he loved it and wouldn't put it down.

After a very long Attachment Therapy visit the therapist put in writing he feels Ava has RAD. He listened while I told all that had occurred this week and he is concerned b/c so much of her behavior is sociopathic. He feels we have a long hard road ahead and was taken back when she admitted to everything I said. When I told her it was ok to be honest and she would not be in trouble as long as she was honest, she was. She has been doing all these things for fun, basically we are her entertainment. She thinks I am stupid for not knowing earlier and she doesn't like that she has been caught.

I am so crazy, I have been looking at my calender thinking the kids were out of school until Monday. I looked today after Cyr insisted I was wrong and guess what? I am wrong, they go back tomorrow. I am sad and relieved at the same time. I do have to go in first thing int he AM and deal with Ava's teachers and this whole hugging, living with, and false allegations thing. I am hoping for the best and fearing the worst. The AT has offered to step in if I need him.