Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Maybe I shouldn't post this yet. I will probably jinx her but.....we are on the 2nd day of great behavior from Patches. I am hopeful that she will be able to maintain with her newly doubled dose of Risperdal. She did so well on it for over a year. To be completely honest, I consider good behavior any time she doesn't try to hit anyone hard, scream in their face at the top of her lungs for more than a minute, destroy any part of the structure of the house, rip her clothes off her body in tiny shreds, pull out her own hair and rub it into large clumps, and will do her chore at the speed of her choice but without doing any of the above. I will accept stomping, multiple small fits, short bursts of screaming about how unfair we are to her, pounding on many surfaces except her siblings but including her self, throwing small objects to the floor, claiming she has no homework, and threats to harm herself but no actual harming other than the pitiful poundings she does to see if I will call the police. I consider a great day when she warns us she is about to do those things so we can leave the room.

My son only had one incident today. I heard him say "It's not freaking in there." I was a foot from him. I am not deaf. I calmly suggested he look more closely and try to find better words. I wasn't mad. He rarely uses foul language unless he is in a rage. He looked right at me and said, "I didn't say that." I never said what he said and pointed that out. He ran off in a hissy fit. Oh well. It's a good thing he is cute b/c it has saved his booty more than once.

Monday, March 30, 2009

It's Confirmed

Aunt M called me and said she was sitting in her car waiting on her DH at her MIL's. Her MIL pulled up and got out of her van and scratched her head for a solid minute with both hands. She said it was enough to give her the heebie jeebies. She left her DH there and called to tell him to walk home.
Ruthie is a fool. I want to use stronger words but won't b/c she is a child. Guess what she shared with her entire class this morning? She wasn't asked, she shared, "My head itches b/c I have lice. My Mommy didn't use any shampoo on me." I was approached by the school "nurse" in the copier room at the school while surrounded by several teachers. I could feel my face turn red. I wanted to crawl away. I told her that she got it from her Gparents and nothing was in her hair. She agreed and said she had looked. Of course she waited until we were alone to comment on how she knew I would never send my child untreated to school.

Another weird thing happened. Patches teacher approached me in the same room and was her normal bubbly self. I have no idea what I said but she broke down and confessed her husband had left her last night. After sharing very private details she wiped away her tears and begged for forgiveness. She claims she never shares her personal life with people at work or anywhere. She is a very private person and has a hard time trusting others. Then she tells me, "I wish I had a mother like you when I needed one." This woman doesn't have any family after spending her childhood in foster care and then aging out of the system. I assume that is what she meant by the comment.

The Power of Suggestion

Ruthie, Michael, and Emma did very well at Aunt M and Uncle F's. They took them to see their maternal Grandparents. It saves me the dreaded trip. I was a bit worried about how Ruthie would do but they claim she was fine. The only issue I have with the visit is that Ruthie brought back a tiny friend, one that lays eggs and lives in the "jungle". Any ideas? Lice. A louse really. I am positive she got it from her Grandmother. No one else had any and she only had 2 nits. I will spend the time treating everyone tonight, just in case. It brought back horrible memories of the first year struggling with it b/c we had visits that reinfected them. I will not let it get like that again. It is funny how the mention of it makes your head itch. Have you scratched yet?

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Crazy Attracts Crazy

We went to the psychiatrist Friday. She doubled Patches Risperdal and added Vistaril to both her and Michael calm them.

We decided at the AT today that if Patches makes ANY attempts to hurt herself or anyone else regardless of what happens, she will go to the hospital for 90 days. I know most of you understand my dilemma with this but some of you send me hate comments about it. It is more than my love for her or my other children, it is more about what I have personally seen working in that setting. Those people are no more trained to help her than I am in most cases and they don't give a crap about her. She is also vulnerable to be hurt there or learn new and effective ways to let out her anger on others. I understand there comes a time when a child must be moved out of a home for the safety of other children but what if the other children are worse off from the trauma when she is gone? What if they all think I am giving up and they do? Last time, several kids barely held themselves together and it was a short period of time. She would miss her party (I know it is small in the scheme of things but to an 11 yr old it is what she is living for). The biggest issue is me. I am always, "I can handle it.". There are very few behaviors that really put me over the edge. I can find a way to live with the most difficult ones that I hear others run for the hills over. It's not like she is setting the house on fire or molesting the kids. (You know I even work around that to keep everyone safe) This is new to me, this knowledge that we can't live like this. I feel like I am failing her on some level. I don't feel like that about any of you that have had to do this but for some stupid reason I think I should be able to fix everything. Who's the crazy one?

On a better note, I dropped off Patches and Ella at my sister's house with instructions to medicate as necessary. LOL I pulled out a bag of bottles and her DH just started laughing. He asked if I knew that this wasn't normal. Duh! The girls love going there so I am sure they will be fine. Aunt M and Uncle F picked up Ruthie, Michael, and Emma (no, Emma is not biologically related to them but they love her and treat her as if she was). I had to go over their very extensive meds list and Aunt M just giggled before making sure the kids know which is theirs.

As I am walking out the door to come home and see Ava and her friend and pick up Cyr's friend Sanna, my niece, asked if she could come with me. I never say no so she grabbed her bag and we were off. She is 15 and gorgeous. She is incredibly smart and self confident for her age, a joy to be around, as long as you are not her mother. I have told you before that I force my kids to be my back up band in van, she was no exception. She got into it while Cyr sat with her mouth wide open, Sanna sang her heart out and played guitar, bass, drums, and piano. She rocked! She hammed it up for nearby cars and even needed to have her brow wiped at one point. She went off the deep end at Walmart. It was so hard to keep a straight face and usually it's me that has no trouble and everyone around me falls out. She decided that she could carry everything we needed. I'm game. I handed her 3 2 liters of soda. She handled it fine until I added a gallon of milk and a box of popcorn. Still holding her own I gave her a giant box of Drumsticks. They were freezing on top of everything else and she was struggling. She started to beg for help but in a way to draw attention to herself thinking it would embarrass me. Apparently she doesn't know me. She pretended to cry, "Mom, why do I have to carry everything? They have carts. You guys could help me." I retorted, "I don't love you as much as her and you should get used to the role of slave girl. Besides, I have 9 children so I don't ever have to do anything." People whipped their heads around to see the horrible woman abusing her daughter. I winked at an old guy standing with his mouth open and walked to the check out but only after adding a bag of 4 large potatoes to her load. Little turd, I showed her. We laughed all the way home.

I watched the much anticipated Twilight. I would claim to be totally in love with Edward but all I kept thinking was how bad I heard he stinks. I saw something on Perez Hilton that talked about how his coworkers claim he refuses to shower and wear deodorant. Every scene Bella and Edward got too close it popped in my mind and I would giggle. It was a really great movie. It reminded me of the series True Blood on Showtime. The main vampire has the same abilities and the romance is there but the characters are a bit more age appropriate for me to swoon over. I don't feel dirty. LOL

I had to add a bit about Ava's friend this morning. She is weird! Weird doesn't begin to describe the issues this child has or the the more obvious one's Ava has. Ava claimed this was her best friend. She hasn't played with or connected to her the entire time. In fact, they play like Kiera does, near each other but not with each other. It's is very strange to watch and reminds me of when the kids came. I wish I could blame it on the girl but I think in this case, crazy attracts crazy. At the table, she sat next to me and waved her bare feet in the air (like being bare was any worse or better than having shoed feet in the air). One of them actually touched my plate. She ate one bite and that was when she picked up her loaded baked potato with both hands and shoved her face into it like it was corn on the cob. She got up and ran around the room chasing the dog and carrying it around like a baby. I had to hide the dog from her, I am not kidding. She touched everything! She cleaned up nothing! I was really getting worried around 9:30 that she would never settle down and since she was so freaking loud I feared the baby would never be able to sleep either. Ava can sleep through a freight train. I ran out of Kiera's liquid Melatonin (while on Albuterol she can't settle down enough to sleep so she gets 1 MG at bedtime) so I melted a pill into a bit of Squirt and planned on giving her a third of it. I never got the chance b/c the kid came in and asked me what I was doing. I told her I was pouring Squirt for the baby's medicine. I left it unattended for a couple of minutes and came back and it was gone! She had drank it. I would never intentionally give someone else's child medicine without permission but was so relived at my brilliant mistake. The nightmare was over, she was asleep in 30 minutes. Of course, she rose this morning at dawn and has tortured us since by screaming at Cyr and her friend. I can put up with a lot but I guess only if they are MY kids.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Lisa asked this in my last post. How we deal with the public has changed over the past almost 3 years. In the beginning, their behaviors were more obvious except at school. You could take a look at them for more than a few minutes and believe that something was "off". Now they are more appropriate socially and have very few outbursts in front of strangers. I still carry a letter from the AT stating they have emotional issues that cause them to have raging fits and scream that I am not their mother. I also carry a photo copy of their adoption papers. It has come in handy several times.

The schools we have worked with have usually not understood. They have tried but everything I tell them to watch for never happens or they play it off like it is normal behavior. Our elementary school now has mixed reactions. Ruthie's teacher is great and sees it all, Patches teacher is finally on board but had to get past her own issues of growing up in foster care, Michael's teacher is hard to read (last year she didn't get it but this year she seems to), Ava's teacher doesn't get it and thinks Ava is wonderful (she is appropriate and that's alot compared to last year), and the principal is polite but the office staff is extremely cold towards me even though the lady's son was one of the firefighters that witnessed Patches blow out last Fall. Our county rezoned the schools and we will be attending the brand new schools along with half their current school. It is a relief. I think I will keep my mouth shut about anything that isn't dangerous for other students. I will not warn them they are having a tough time at home. It only makes me look crazy when they are all smiles there. I think I work too hard to help others see what is happening when there is no way they can. My children are off the charts at home and angels there, any normal person would assume it must be me.

As for the professionals in our lives, it has changed over time. I am honest with the kids. There are very few things I say privately to the professionals b/c I find if I don't do it in front the of child they don't believe me. I make darn sure that I point out many wonderful qualities about the child in front of them and try to include them in the conversation. In the beginning, I always explained that I was going to share private things with the doctor and we needed to be honest so we can get the help we need. I assured them they weren't in any trouble for the things they have done or not done but we had to tell them everything. They had the ability to help themselves in the room and make their lives easier. Now they get in the office and add to it like remind me of things they think might be important. Sometimes it is things I didn't know they were experiencing, like the voices and hallucinations. They feel more in control and it's not so much my word against theirs. Sometimes it is too much or they can't share but more times than not they agree with what I say. It eliminated some of the triangulation we saw.

On a completely different note, Cyr texted me from the bus yesterday and I couldn't help getting her goat. She wanted to know what it means if you have tiny red bumps on your foot and they itch. I convinced her she had Leprosy. This meant she would have to be taken out of school to be home schooled and they would do some really cool patchwork with skin graphs from her booty. It took some fancy work on my part b/c she is hard to fool. I texted Rosa and my DH to explain and help. By the end of the day, she was convinced. I waited until this morning to tell her the truth. She was so surprised and vowed to get me back. She will try but will never succeed. It may sound mean or silly to do that to her. It is a family thing. We are always trying to "get' each other. Practical jokes and teasing (in a good way not mean or vicious) were hard for them to wrap their little heads around. I have to be careful about what I say to each child, like I could never tell Ruthie she had a crippling disease but Cyr was amused with it. I figure if they are going to work so hard to find new and interesting ways to torture me then I will at least have fun.

Patches had a rough night. No one was hurt but she did say she's not going to take her meds anymore. She accidently did though. HAHAHA The Mother wins again.

Monday, March 23, 2009

I was right. Michael admitted he added the carpet cleaning solution to the dishwasher b/c he didn't want to do that chore. He was mad at Rosa for giving it to him and mad at me for not being here along with some other irrational things. I caught him wiping off some peanut butter on a butter knife and putting it back in the clean ones. I have hollered and hollered about nasty dishes with food left on it could make us sick. I had no idea it would help him come up with a plan to hurt us. He told me that he wanted to hurt us. He did, too. Many of the kids have had diarrhea. He crossed a line that put several more things in place to keep us safe.

Patches sat on the computer for 2 hours today. I asked her to get off and let someone else play and she refused to move for some time. How dare I do such a thing, right? I gave her the choice of moving or lose her computer privilege tomorrow and she threw the chair. No one was hurt and I tried to talk to her about taking a few minutes to calm down. She screamed at me and ran out of the room only to bash her head into the wallpapered stairwell. She hit it at least 5 times until her entire head left a hole. To fix it the upstairs hall, stairwell, and entryway will have to be skimmed, Kilzed, and painted. This is no simple job. Our landlord is going to be VERY mad that we have to cover the wallpaper his wife loves so much. She threatened to call the cops on me and eventually went to her room to pull out chunks of her hair. She came down to dinner 15 minutes later like nothing is wrong. Mental illness, want one?

Rosa is sick of being flashed by my kids. She has confronted them and feels assaulted by this behavior. I mean really, who wants a bunch of sexually reactive kids in a bathroom with them when they threaten to make up lies about their mom already? She is completely freaked out. They have such horrible boundaries that they show all their stuff to anyone. After almost 3 years you would think we have a grip on this. All I can say is if you ever meet them don't go near a bathroom with them, save yourself.

Cyr asked me to teach her how to restrain Patches and Michael if they attack her. I almost fell over laughing. Why would I teach her (a sexual predator) to restrain younger children? I kindly explained privately why I don't think that would be a good idea. Her response was, "I don't do that anymore". Not this week but I will not trust her for a VERY long time.

Ella took me aside to "talk privately". I dreaded the conversation b/c she likes to tell me disgusting details about her activities that I could live a lifetime never knowing. She tells me that Michael was told by a friend that his parents took him outside and stripped him naked and beat him. I asked Michael about it and he put his head down, he had lied and was telling a story abut when he was beaten.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Getting a Life

Cyr's social life has taken off. She is gone again tonight but brought her first friend home on the bus. The girl's mother wasn't going to be home so they came here and Rosa took them home after dinner. I am so proud of her decisions lately. I haven't seen any serious manipulation and she even slept in my bed last night. My DH is still gone and I let the kids rotate sleeping on his side. Cyr will start out in there but leaves. She made it all night and it must have surprised her b/c it was the first thing out of her mouth this morning.

When Ava was there Tuesday night, she freaked me out. She kept mumbling in her sleep. She said weird things like, "Loser!"and "Meanie Head!" with great force. She also grunted and growled quite a bit. I have decided to be a bit more careful when giving her consequences in the future.

Michael has decided that he will give Rosa all the attitude he can muster any time I am not here. He actually tried to put dirty dishes away. I guess this is a step above adding carpet cleaner to the dishwasher while I was in the hospital with Kiera. I still can't figure out if it was intentional. I am leaning toward the idea he was trying to get her but probably not kill her. I am so glad her little ones have issues, I am sure it helps her tolerate my little crazies. I mean who else would stay here when a tiny boy hugs you one minute so he can shove his nose in your breast and try to poison you the next? She rocks!

I am glad she is beginning to have a life. She has gone out tonight and the 13 kids left here are sound asleep. She is going through some tough stuff with her kids many therapists. Poor girl had no idea they would turn on her and dig into her past to better understand her and her parenting. She is much stronger than she gives herself credit for. One of the things I love so much about her is her willingness to look at her weaknesses and do something about them.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Should She Stay or Should She Go Now?

We are backed into a corner with Patches again. Big shock, huh? She is doing so much better but she still turns on a dime and attacks when she is mad. She is worried she will harm the kids but wants to try to put some more intense restrictions on herself and try increasing her meds before taking the AT's suggestion of a 90 day placement in a hospital. Before I get more hate mail, the AT is suggesting this b/c she isn't sure what is left to try and Patches just shuts down in therapy. Yesterday, she turned on the baby b/c she was mad at me. She didn't hurt her but she tried to throw a bluetooth at her and missed. When I reacted to protect the baby, she took off her shoe and tried to hit her with it. It didn't go near the baby b/c I grabbed it so she removed the other shoe to try that one. I jumped on her with my entire body and stopped her. She adores the baby and said she is not jealous of her. She knows I love her and freely states it. I think we need a plan in place but with intense supervision and increasing her meds she can be here. It is so hard on the other kids when Patches isn't here. We have an appointment Saturday to figure things out. Until then she is under line of sight supervision and has a camera in her room. She agrees to this so that should help.

Ella made some new statements today in therapy. It included her twin. Ava has denied any form of abuse....until today. Almost 3 yours into her placement here and she confesses she was sexually abused. I didn't ask any questions too deep but did ask some to figure out if she was repeating something she heard or if it was a real memory. She admitted she has been scared to tell me and wanted to tell the lady in her interview last year. She still thought she would be in trouble. I told her we didn't have to talk about it tonight and she could talk to me any time. I also told her that keeping a secret that big was probably making her really sad inside and now that she has been honest she might see a change in her behavior for the better.

I wanted to thank an anonymous commenter for reminding me about how open I can get. I usually write it out and double check to remove names if it is too personal. I completely forgot. Thank you for keeping me on my toes.

I see I received an award last week and I am going to make time to get right on it after I do the 5 million things pending on my To Do List. I was so honored to read that she reads my blog so regularly and I am sure if I wasn't so beat lately that I would get to posting more often again.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Part 1

At this point, I am so tired of telling the story that I have had a hard time finding the energy to come here and tell you all. How about it sucked? I almost killed my precious baby by not taking her in to the ER much sooner. I had no idea the signs and triggers that I should have known and I assumed her asthma wasn't serious b/c we didn't see anything and the home before us smoked with her in the house. It was to be expected that she got better, right? No. Her asthma is life threatening. It is not something I can ignore. It will be a significant part of our daily life. She has been in a near constant state of emergency for quite some time. I had no idea that a little cough isn't little for her. She has been waking so many times at night and THAT is a sign. Now they are treating her for acid reflux and feel this will help with the night waking. I could go on and on about all the things I missed but you get the point, I majorly screwed up.

I took the kids for a picnic in the yard Tuesday and she barely ate, she spent her time running around the yard and squealing when I chased her. We came in and things went down hill from there. She was breathing heavy so I treated her and it didn't stop. I knew I could give her several treatments so I did. I though perhaps she was having a hard time b/c she was stuffed up and I put her in the shower with me. It didn't get better. I called Rosa to come home so I could take her to the hospital sure I was overreacting. She was irritable and freaked at the hospital when anyone touched her. They saw she was breathing heavy and took us right back to an isolated trauma room. I assume so we wouldn't torture the rest of the folks there. They sent in the RT and gave her a treatment. No one checked her oxygen and being the first time this has happened, I had no idea this was a necessary step. She screamed and screamed until she "fell asleep" in my arms. Quite some time later, the nurse came to check on us and I insisted on another treatment b/c she was breathing heavy again. She casually hooked her up to the monitor and she never moved a bit. I thought that was weird but still no flags for me. The nurse kinda laughed that the monitor must be broken and hooked her up to another one. It said the same thing, 71. My baby was not asleep, she was unconscious! They called for the RT and the doctor and I could tell they were getting upset. She was immediately put on oxygen and told me we would be transferred to the children's hospital.

I called Rosa to come pick up Patches and poor Patches was freaking out. Then the ambulance came for us. We began our trip at a normal speed and sometime on the trip the lights were turned on and the sirens began blaring. I was a mess. I couldn't see her but I knew she was in trouble. I found out later that they couldn't get her oxygen to stay up and they had her on continuous albuterol and oxygen. At the new ER, the nurse informed me that I must be mistaken, she couldn't have gotten to 71 b/c she seemed better now and she would have been blue. I explained that I had no idea if she was blue b/c she had been in my Hip Hammock and was asleep. Within minutes of taking her off the albuterol, things got really bad fast. Her oxygen dropped and couldn't be raised. They were baffled and I could tell they were scared for her. Not much was said to me and I didn't understanding the mumble jumble they were saying. They had lots of people in the room trying different masks and oxygen levels on her. After an hour or so they decided she needed to stay up in ICU on 100% oxygen with a special mask that only they had up there. She remained in the upper 80s and there was lots of talk about a ventilator.

Once in ICU, she was surrounded by 6+ people trying to help her. They had no idea why this was happening. Her heart rate was between 201-215 all night b/c of the albuterol. It should have been around 120. She was breathing 90+ times a minute and that should have been in the 20s. Her oxygen never rose above 91 with 100% oxygen and continuous albuterol and steroids. Eventually they had to sedate her b/c she was out one minute and a tornado spinning around and around ripping things off the next. They gave her a dose of something and there was no change. They asked me if she had been exposed to drugs b/c she was still wild. Of course ehr stupid mother had done drugs and now she was in trouble and they couldn't calm her. I was seething. They gave her another dose and about 10 minutes later she started to relax and fall asleep. You could hear everyone breath a sigh of relief. She was still in trouble but at least she wouldn't rip out the IV and tear off the mask over and over again.

In the morning, they sat me down and explained that it looked like they would have to put her on the ventilator. They forced me out of the room to go and eat and they were going to get things together while she slept. I returned about 30 minutes later and her oxygen had risen a teenie tiny bit, they decided to see if she could maintain at 92-93 for a few more minutes. It got better from there. She had turned a corner and she was holding strong. We barely missed that ventilator and she somehow knew it. It took quite some time to digest it all. I was so tired I was on the verge of tears every time I was left alone with her. I knew I loved this child but I had no idea how much until I sat with her in that ICU all alone.

I wrestled with guilt of not telling her mother how serious it was, I didn't want her there causing drama. I down played it quite a bit and then felt horrible and selfish. When I came clean the next day and tried to tell her what was going on, she listened for a few minutes and cut me off. She said, "OK, but that's not why I called. I want you to change my number on my cell b/c I keep getting weird messages." The guilt left me and I felt myself get all hot. I realized right then that she just wants her to show her off. She doesn't adore her like I do. This is so new to me, Nikki adores Emma. If Emma was in the hospital, I would call Nikki as soon as I got off the phone with my DH. OK, truth be told, Nikki would be called before my DH. She is further away and she is her mother, too. I would want her there every second, she would want to be there.

I had issues with the doctor that I will post about tomorrow. The kids were in rare form for Rosa. Poor woman has made it clear that she would never want to raise them if something happened to me. Good thing Kiki is willing, blind fool she is. LOL

I chatted with the kids a bit today and was cornered by 2 of my girls. They wanted to talk about "something bad". Turns out that both girls are masturbating A LOT. They are worried that they are going to get caught at school. They wanted to know if they would get in trouble if their principal found out. It seems that a teacher there looks like their mother and it makes them "want to hump". Great. Both girls had to have medicine on their privates b/c they have injured themselves from too much activity. They both insist it is only when they are alone and no one else sees them. One has a great deal of guilt afterwards and the other decided she wanted to share with me every time she came out of the bathroom today. How do you delicately tell your 7 yr old that you do not need to know every time she masturbates? There is no easy way and when I asked her if she washed her hands she went directly to the sink. Who knows how many times she has held my hand with out washing before. I am not so sure I like her feeling THIS safe with me. Can't a girl pleasure herself without informing me of it? I'm gonna have to address this. Anyone want to trade places?

Friday, March 13, 2009

Not the Update I Need to Do But...

we are home from the hospital. I managed to arrive just before the kids got off the bus and surprised them. They surprised me with 2 meltdowns that lead to only 1 restraint and a very serious discussion about their previous sexual encounters. Yeah! (Yes, I know I am no longer a normal person b/c I am elated to only have 1 restraint today and a conversation about the sex my kids have had.) I am exhausted and so is the baby. I promise this weekend I will spend time making a proper update. Three of my nieces are coming to spend the night tomorrow so it may be Sunday. I have a ton of blogs to catch up on and that will have to come first, sorry I gotta get my fix.

I would like to address the young woman that is in the middle of making a life altering decision, welcome. Your story moved me and only you know what is best for you and your baby. If you are just afraid of what others will think or feel, don't, they will come around b/c they care about what is best for you. You have a hard road ahead but you can do it. You will find a strength within that will get you through the tough stuff. I will do anything I can to support you, whatever your choice turns out to be. I told her to give you my number, use it whenever you need to, day or night. I will not judge you and I am happy to put you in touch with others that have already made that decision or that are parenting special needs children.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Monday, March 09, 2009

16 Counts Each!!!!!

I was shocked and amazed when the lady told me through tears that the Grand Jury decided to increase the charges to 16 combined counts of Child Molestation and Aggravated Child Molestation. I don't know how many of each b/c she wasn't able to pull the file but the Det. will email it to me in the next couple of days. We have an arraignment at the end of the month and the trial is scheduled for the middle of next month.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Warning, gross!

Patches doesn't seem to be able to handle her monthly visitor very well. She has been off the charts emotional, not violent. She cried on 4 separate occasions yesterday and what I really mean is she threw herself down and bawled her eyes out over nothing. One of the times was at bedtime, I heard her sobbing in the hall and asked her to come down to me. She gave me a terrible story of being kicked out of the little girls room b/c they came in and wanted to watch a different show. She had been in there alone to get away from them (b/c she insists they are ALWAYS mean to her). I felt bad for her and called the girls down. Emma looked at me and said, "One word, Mom, Saw5". She had been up there watching Saw 5! She expected the little girls to watch it with her! They were mortified and changed the channel b/c it was bedtime. I don't let her watch that crap anytime.

Today she was throwing a screaming fit in the yard b/c she thought they were being mean to her again. She was yelling about wanting to die. I went out there after I got the baby down and explained what I thought was going on, she was emotional b/c of her period. She seemed relieved and apologized to the kids. Of course, they hadn't been mean to her at all, she misunderstood and had jumped to conclusions about their intentions.

Rosa is the Queen of our Laundry. She pointed out that she didn't think Patches was using sanitary pads b/c she has a ton of bloody pants`and underpants. It got me thinking, she had changed her clothes 3 or 4 time today alone and claimed to have had accidents. Not unusual for her to have one but it did seem a bit much. I approached her about it and was shocked. It is hard to shock me at this point but I am amazed at how dedicated they are to doing it. She didn't like the way the pads felt so she just bled on herself and then changed when her panties were full. I stared at her with my mouth open. At least she was honest. I introduced her to the wonderful world of tampons. I had felt it was a bit too young but what do I know? She loved them. Please pray she remembers to take them out.

What am I going to do with 7 raging female teenagers? I am thinking of adding on to our closet and hiding there.

The Party of the Year

It's getting time to have a BIG birthday party again. I am beginning to search for inflatables and work out the details. So far, I think we are going to have an 18' slide, a moonwalk, play tug-a-war, have a sack race, marble pick up, an obstacle course, and have a cotton candy and sno-kone machine. We are debating about serving hot dogs and chips again b/c we think we are doing it from 2-5PM. My DH insists on the food but thinks we should skip the moonwalk. I think skip the food and have the moonwalk b/c the little kids prefer the moonwalk over the slide.

While I was working out these details, my DH called from the road somewhere in AZ and has decided to spend his time in the car giving me his unsolicited advice about the party. He has decided that he won't pay for it w/o cheeseburgers instead of hot dogs. I hope he is joking b/c I am not about to spend all that extra money on the meat and even more on the lettuce, tomato, mayo, cheese, etc. People couldn't care less if I just do hot dogs, it is so much less work. I may have to do a switcheroo on him. It is not something I normally do, it is his game but I think I will give it a try. I will agree to do the burgers and mysteriously show up with hot dogs. (Ann, quit laughing.) His motto is that it is better to ask for forgiveness than permission. I'll show him. I guess he should have been reading my blog, huh?

The date will be April 18th so if you are local or will be in the area, you are invited. Lisa, Atlasien, Kerry, Alison, Lorie, Amy, Skirbo, Torina, and even the Bodie Bunch are invited, (if I left your name off that doesn't mean you are left out:) just let me know how many in your family are coming so I have enough hot dogs. LOL Last year we had 75+ b/c we were new to the area, we are hoping to at least double it this year and we could use your help.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009


I haven't gotten the official ruling yet but the detective wrote me an email after she testified. She felt it went VERY well. The women were crying and were very upset after seeing the picture I sent her. She feels it will go to trial on their next trial week, April 13-17! I had no idea things went so fast after the Grand Jury Trial. I won't be telling the kids anything until I hear from the D. A.'s office.

He's Leaving but Not on a Jet Plane

My DH leaves for 2 glorious weeks in CA. I am the one that will be enjoying the entire bed and silence while he works his butt off trying to fix a horrible mess of a house one of his contractors has. He is not looking forward to the long drive out there or back but is thrilled they bought him a used trailer to haul his tools in. They are horrible about asking him to go above and beyond his job but wonderful about giving him all the tools it takes to get the job done plus pay him handsomely.

I still haven't gotten a new cell phone. I have a hard time spending the money on one when I can think of a million things the kids want. My DH keeps pushing me to buy a good phone claiming I take such good care of mine that it is worth it. I threw his opinion aside and began looking at used ones on Craigslist. I text too much to have one that doesn't have the keyboard and that limited my options. Then I found out that they can unlock other carrier's phones and be used on our carrier. That rocks, people! I have found a PDA phone/smartphone that will change my life. (A bit dramatic, perhaps.) I won't be able to send and receive picture messages but I can send them via email. It is a camera phone and also a video camera. I pick it up today. It is used and costs less than a new phone. I have been dreaming about this darn thing since the weekend.

I know people are having a hard time getting on the other blog but so many are not and I have no idea what to do to help. I will get everyone invited, again by morning. If you asked to be invited for the first time, you will be included.

Dado slept on the floor next to the bed all night. He is so big that his head easily sits on the edge. He never said a word but you could tell he felt left out and wanted to climb on. I just can't do a baby and a dog. Yes, the little booger still spends most of her nights in my bed.

The AT saw the baby over the weekend at therapy for the big girls. She had to go with us and eventually had to join us in the room. She pointed out so many issues that poor Kiera has with control and attachment. It made me cry. She has very serious concerns about her. She said it is not normal for a child so young to have such intense emotions. She thinks we are in for a rough ride with her. Great! Just what we wanted another emotionally challenged child, right? At least she is cute.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

The Love of My DH's Life

Yes, that is what he says. I'm OK with it but I will not share a bed with both of them. He used to climb on the bed after I was asleep and slowly wiggle his way up between us and lay his head on my pillow.

He has grown quite a bit and is probably about 160 pounds. The baby has already taken a ride on him and Gia is "walking" him around the house on a leash. I sure hope he doesn't decide to run b/c she will fly like a kite.

He has to go to the vet in the AM b/c he has a couple of raw spots. The people that had him lost their house and haven't had money to buy decent food or take him to the vet in quite awhile. I'm glad he is home.

Guess Who is Moving in with Us?

LOL Not that you would know him. We got a call last night about a dog we had to find a home for about 3 yrs ago, Dado. He was our first Argentine Dogo and he was the sweetest, kindest, and laziest dog to ever walk the Earth. We found a wonderful home for him when we were moving to CT. They are now moving and asked if we would consider taking him back. I jumped on it w/o asking my DH b/c this man has cried over this dog when we gave him away.

I have received numerous comments about not being able to log into the other blog. Anyone getting into it?

Monday, March 02, 2009


If you've lost the link to my other blog, go to the side of my blog and scroll down to the picture of the 8 kids. It's in a section "About Me". That will bring you to my profile and again scroll down to see my 2 blogs and click the one called "My Little Heroes". If you were already invited, you should be able to log into it. Let me know if you have a problem. For those of you that have asked to be invited, please leave a comment with your email address.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Abby and Martha, I have sent you another invitation. Let me know if you are still having trouble.

It snowed here all day. It was so beautiful. I only had Michael, Ruthie, Ava, and the baby. Poor Ruthie and Kiera were too sick to play but the other 2 had a ball.