Saturday, May 01, 2010

A Bit About Everyone

So many things I keep meaning to come here and tell you all about but life gets in the way. Maybe it's time to do an update on each one of the little turkey butts.

Cyr is still dating her boyfriend, Manuel. He is still in the alternative school and taking his anger management classes. We had a tiny bit of a scare when she confessed she had kissed him in our home more than once. Upon closer investigation, they had exchanged pecks a few times. I was relieved when no swapping of spit had occurred. She was completely disgusted by the conversation. I think she may link that kind of kissing to her abuse. She is not doing well in in a couple classes and lost the privilege of doing her homework at her leisure. Overall, I am thrilled every day to be dealing with normal teenage crap from her. She is attached and defensive of me. She appreciates all she went through and understands how badly it could have turned out for her and her siblings. She likes to be around us and is enjoying a bit of freedom occasionally. She is upset about moving but finds a way to be happy about it, too. She listens to my advice and tries to follow it. I couldn't ask for a better daughter.

Patches likes a boy from school that openly talks about wanting to be in a gang. He is an idiot and she thinks he is cool. She has no idea what a gang is. Since her teacher left she has cried every day. Yesterday she informed me they are taking a class picture next week and she will not be in it. I asked why, thinking it was because she hates having her picture taken, I wasn't surprised when she said it. Her answer did surprise me. She didn't want to do it because I would think it is cool that she is in one with her friends. I thought that was crappy and told her so. She stomped off to tantrum and returned with the confession that it was really about her teacher not being there. She thinks it's not right that they are doing it without her. I guess the jabs at me were just for sport. LOL She is a roller coaster lately. She is still in love with Jacob from Twilight. She is not doing well in the class with her male teacher. She says it's because she doesn't like him. She claims to hate her new parapro, too. Of course, there is no reason for her dislike of either of them. Last night she flipped out on me screaming I'm not her mom, her boss and she hates me. After 4 years, it is old. She later admitted to just wanting to hurt me. I calmly explained I am done with being her punching bag and I looked forward for the next time she decided to be mean to me. It scared her. I plan on becoming the woman she lives with, she will no longer receive all the benefits of a family.

Ruthie is extreme abdominal pain and has been out of school since Tuesday. I took her to remove her cast yesterday and then to the doctor for her tummy. I thought she was constipated and it turns out that wasn't true. They thought she had an ulcer so they gave her meds to confirm it. They were baffled when it made it worse. They suggested we head to the ER. The doctor at the ER thought it was Pancreas or Gall Bladder. It wasn't. He suggested it was somatic more than once. I can tell you that I rarely believe her when she is injured or sick but this is obvious. She is hurting. She confronted her teacher for confessing her love of my daughter. She was able to tell her how scared it made her feel. The teacher apologized.

Michael is changing. Some of it is not good and some of it is. An example is, he is stealing from us. We have caught him twice in 3 days going through our stuff. When confronted, he cried and confessed. What's even weirder is he accepts his consequence without a fuss and apologizes. What the heck is going on? I believe the new anti seizure meds are working because he hasn't had a huge fit in more than a week. He has a girlfriend (Emma's birth sister's adoptive sister). He calls her and has no idea what to say so I coach him during the call. It's too funny. He draws her pictures and wants me to send them to her. He cracks me up.

Emma is at her Mom's for the weekend. Emma is the second generation of adoption in her family. Her Nana lost her sister to a closed adoption. They found her on Facebook and she is here this weekend for a big family reunion. I wanted her to be there. Just the thought of all the emotions running through those women makes me tear up. I am so happy they will get to know each other. There family has had such a rough life. Emma's GG had been forced to place her child to protect her from her dangerous father. He had threatened to kill the child and GG. I truly adore that family and what they come to mean to ours. I am so immensely happy for them all.

Ava is crying intermittently. She is jealous of Ella because the boy she likes thinks Ella is the bomb. He also thinks Ava is mean. This has caused quite a bit of friction here. Ella has had to keep her excitement quiet so she doesn't hurt her twin. Ava is a good student and she has managed to overcome all her stealing, hoarding, lying, and most of her meanness. She is easy and loving without being clingy. Her hair is the longest of the girls and she is beginning to try to do "things" with it. Michael, Ella, and Ava are motivated by money right now and are volunteering for extra chores.

Ella is Ella. She is finding her voice and using it a bit too often. Finding a happy medium is an adventure with her. She is still playing with the baby a lot and the baby is abusing her daily. That girl will hit her with hard toys when she makes her mad. We are working on it but poor Ella in the meantime. She is very into imaginary play and can be seen crawling on my floor constantly. She is our puppy. She asked me this week if she could marry the boy she likes when she grows up. She loves him. I managed to keep a straight face and told her that would be lovely as long as he is a nice boy.

Kiera. Michael says she is the cutest thing ever and the meanest. LOL It's true. She is becoming more social with strangers and she insists on people returning her hellos. She thinks our male therapist and the boy across the street are her best friends. She refuses to potty train and tells me so. We discuss her sleeping situation and is excited about a new toddler bed but claims she will not be sleeping in it. She is smart, too smart. She is bossy and knows what she wants. She is extremely hyper and we are wondering if it may be an issue in the future. Nightmares still interrupt our rest at least 4 or 5 times a night. She screams and cries then clings to my head for dear life. It is so sad. Tantrums threaten my sanity during the day. She won't let go of me when the kids are at school but she is thrilled when her "guys" walk through the door. She is so used to them running to her rescue that she stands in the middle of a room and hollers, "I'm thirsty. Water please. Somebody get me a cup. Hello. I'm thirsty." until someone jumps. Honestly, I know it's bad but it's so funny I can't help but giggle. We are working on it.

My DH and I are house hunting this weekend. We will be spending the night at my sister's while she is out of town. We will be alone! What the heck do you do without kids? I'm planning on sleeping and a glass of wine. I'm pretty sure I know what's on his mind and I'm sure he won't accept my exhaustion as an excuse for extra sleep. My MIL is staying with the kids here. Silly woman, she is a gluten for punishment. Thank goodness for us she loves the kids and is willing to put up with their crap.


J. said...

great to hear that so many of the kids are doing so well. Enjoy the weekend and yes it is really hard to change those toddler behaviours when they are sooooo cute!

Jennie said...

I hope it was a fabulous weekend!

Kate said...

It's so good to read how adjusted Cyr is!

Do you think maybe Patches is imitating the type of boys Cyr is attracted to (with her boyfriend's past behaviors) in a way by liking that boy in school? Or it is at all connected?

I so hope Ruthie feels better.

What a change in Ava and Ella from months/years ago. It's amazing. I remember reading about them having no idea how to play or imagine things.

And Kiera sounds so, so smart!!!

Good luck with the house hunting!

Anonymous said...

Well done!......................................................................

Abby said...

That's really fantastic about all the positive changes going on in your house! (I'm sure there are the tribulations too, but bright spots are great!)

I'm just wondering a little more about Ruthie and her teacher... I'll send you a msg on fb sometime. =) Hope househunting went well!

robyncalgary said...

definately great to hear how well adjusted cyr has become, its interesting that the one who went witnessed the most abuse (being the oldest) has come out with fewer issues than some of the others. im happy for both of you for the relationship you have.

as for keira, im not sure what you believe spiritually but may i suggest looking into what sylvia browne says about night terrors? she has a meditiation type thing she recommends where you sit with your sleeping child and repeat certain things to their 'spirit' saying anything that is scaring them be released into the white light of the holy spirit and anything bothering them from their past lives be released etc etc. her developmental age brain wouldnt be able to understand, but her ageless spiritual side will hear you while she sleeps and perhaps understand? im not explaining it very well :P worth looking into tho if you dont think all that stuff is 'hooey' :)