Today is Cyr's birthday. All went well until I asked a few kids to do Cyr's chore for her. It did not go over well. One thought the other was being mean (read delusional thinking, as usual) and the other tried to help until they were smacked by the first one. The first one ended up sitting on the floor banging on things to ruin our movie and eventually began to amp things up a bit by threatening the younger kids. Not so unusual around here, right? We have 2 kids over tonight. Her fit made quite the scene, especially when she began to refer to me as a "fat bitch" and banged the end of the outside hose with it's attachment against the house. We scurried the kids off to their room and ran around her trying to prevent too much damage to her and our things. Good times. She always feels so bad about herself afterward. They all do. They hate they escalate to this level and are unable to stop until it's all out.
Last night was fun. It was another child's turn to flip out. I'm going to be cryptic but if you've read the entire blog, you will know what and who I'm talking about. We have 2 children that have an unhealthy bond. One has a new "love" interest that is returned. The other is extremely jealous and has feelings that they wish it was them. Not that they want a BF/GF, they want to have that person all for themselves. This child flipped out and had to be removed from a room to protect others. They were throwing stuff at me and hitting me when they went in for a bite. I grabbed their hair to keep them from it and had to hold them for some time, hurting my foot again in the process. I am pissed. I was just able to walk normally on it. This child ran away and screamed in the street until Cyr and I finally calmed her. She screamed, "Why did they make me like this? I hate them for making me feel like this!" I was so impressed with her insight about her feelings I almost forgot she had attacked me earlier like a wild animal. She is coping much better today.
I feel sorry for the future mates of my children. They are in for a tough road.
Completely inappropriate, Cyr expressed she is terrified she will be known as the girl with the crazy sister. I said, "Better to be known as the girl with the crazy sister than the girl that gives head." I'm not sure where that came from but it made sense to her and she agreed. I really need to work on thinking before I speak. This is going to be a difficult hurdle for her. Teens care what others think about them. She has 2 sisters coming up behind her that are going to humiliate her, daily. How do I convince her to be empathetic when it is such a difficult thing for her anyway? I suppose my sisters could say I humilated them, too. I also beat the booty of anyone that hurt them so that kinda made up for it. Maybe her sisters could be trained to protect her. LOL I can see Patches kicking some boys butt because he made Cyr cry.
One of my girls is obsessed with a movie star in The New Moon. OBSESSED! Everyone gets crushes on movie stars or rock stars, it's normal. She believes she will be his girlfriend. I tried to explain to her about the reality of that happening and this child is convinced I am wrong and if she could get away without me following her around, she could find him and make him her's. I see a future movie star stalker. I'm serious. It's weird. I think she could convince herself she is his girlfriend. I know it is a symptom of her illness and it scares the heck out of me. Please stop letting her watch that movie at school. It only feeds her delusion. She may tell you it's OK and she knows the difference but it's only to get her way and see him again. She is having dreams about him and says she wants to go to sleep to be with him. How about The Princess and the Frog or Zombieland? Anything would be better than the Werewolf. Oh she says she knows they are meant to be together because he looks like her. SHe believes he is a werewolf and will protect her. Her Nanny told her to friend him on FaceBook. I can't wait to see how that goes.
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6 comments:
May the weekend be calm and have less rage.
My daughter also tends to obsess about movie characters (luckily not as severely). We banned certain movies (Harry Potter and Twilight being good examples - she's obsessed with Tom Felton who'll be on Twilight next time so she has to see this one). Guess what movies they showed when she went in treatment centers? Why do they do that?! Hey let's just let them watch Precious and porn too- I'm sure that won't bother them. My daughter may be 13 (15 now), but emotionally she's only 4 so PG-13 movies are just not appropriate.
I too worry for the future mates of my kids.
Mary in TX
I have often wondered after reading your blog- why were the kids placed together when it seems that they have an unhealthy attachment to each other. Was this not known at time of placement?
I really admire the way you're able to handle them all, but it seems some things wouldn't be there or be as severe if they hadn't been placed together.
i understand Cyr's angst about her sister. I had this conversation with Wonder Girl yesterday about her two older siblings. I tried to help her understand that they are not normal 10 and 9 year old big siblings, that she is not impaired like they are, that she has a hard road ahead of her just by the nature of being related to them. She took it all in stride, of course. Said "yeah, because they act like babies and even though I'm only 5, I act like I'm 7" which to wit, is true. I told her to talk to me about it anytime she needed to.
In all of this therapy, there is still NO SUPPORT for the unimpaired/healthy siblings that are traumatized by the impaired ones. TOUGH STUFF. so very hard. Tell Cyr I said "hi" and that I send her a hug and a "happy birthday"
http://www.ccids.umaine.edu/resources/facts/facts6_2/attachment.htm
It's a one page fact sheet but it's one that I print out and give to adults who allow themselves to be manipulated with charm. :) You know the ones that I mean. Although some teachers refuse to see themselves in it when it's so obvious. In that case I give it to the Principle too. It's a tool for me that sometimes helps, not that I have issues that come anywhere near yours...a bad (insert uneducated savior) teacher can make life hell.
You crack me up. Beth (age5) is OBSESSED with kissing right now. I let her watch Parent Trap the other day up in her room as a special treat and went up there to put her to bed and she had found where the mom and dad kiss and was stopping and rewinding it, watching it over and over and over and over. Then today she took this ancient photo album out that she looks at all the time and brought it to me to show me a pic of me and hubby kissing when we were dating. I didn't have any idea that is what she was always looking at in there. I haven't looked at the album in years and didn't even know there was a pic of us kissing in there. UGH. Crazy. I thought 5 year olds were supposed to think kissing was gross. :)
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