Tuesday, September 18, 2007

A Room, An Evil Mom, and A Sick Friend

My son was a freak yesterday. He weighs less than 40lbs and managed to pick up and toss over his entire bed in a rage. He pulled his dresser, table, and benches over and threw all his other things in a pile. He has a favorite Spongebob night lite and he took it by the cord and swung it until it shattered then threw all it's pieces at us. We have no idea what got him going but before he completely flipped out he slapped and punched Emma. She was quick enough to get hers in before he ran off to his room. SHe was upset but really proud that she reacted so quickly.

My son told a neighborhood kid over the weekend that I was evil because I held him to the floor until he cried all the time. WOW! The poor neighbor kid was shocked and I am sure she ran home to tell her parents. It is true, though. I do hold him to the floor and I do it until he cries (shows any emotion but rage). I am not evil, he is possessed when in a rage. I let him know it truly hurt my feelings and he needs to watch what he tells people about other people. I see a real issue on the rise with this.

A friend of mine is in the hospital, they discovered a brain tumor and are doing emergency surgery in a few hours. It is not certain she will survive and if she does what condition she will be in b/c of the location of the tumor. She has chemo and raditation to look forward to if she does. She is 28.


Anonymous said...

My 40 pound son cant carry a jug of milk. It is amazing what all that rage in our (hurt) kids can do.

As you know, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your friend, and her family. And I will throw in some prayers for your son too!


grams--gg said...

Please be careful and my prayers are with you

Lorie said...

Wow....much love. You are an amazing parent. He'll get there....just hang on.

Love and prayers to your friend....boy can life be challenging at times. I hope for the best for her. Take care of you.

foster care mom said...

Wow. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. I don't know everything about this particular situation but I would suggest leaning on your husband for support at this time. Things will get better. I will also pray for your friend as well. Good Luck!

Innocent Observer said...

Don't count your friend out. We have actually known a few people with funky brain tumors who are living perfectly normal lives now. I'll keep her in my thoughts.

Kids tattle things to get a reaction, as you already know. It can open up an entire can of worms. Ugh. We assured our kids that the adults always talk and that I will always find out what they said. With one kid I pointed out that what she said hurt a sibling, parent, another foster parent, me (the original target!) and her as well. She was shocked that her words did that; she just wanted me to look bad, but in fact made herself look bad too. But if there isn't empathy yet... Hang in there!


Mongoose said...

I hope your friend comes through all right.

As usual your boy reminds me of "Him". I couldn't believe how He laid a beating on the two biggest cops in town. :( But the positive thing about it is, He was very capable of controling himself when he chose to. Impulse control develops with age so I have faith that your boy will improve too.

Disgusted with You said...

You hold your kid to the floor until he cries? You're a sick f@ck. You're lucky I don't know where you live.

Tudu said...

disgusted with you, I understand you have no idea the hell my son is in and that I have nothing to do with the cause. Please go back and read any of my posts regarding his psychiatric history and you wil see I am fully trained how to provide my son with a safe restraint until he is able to control himself. He usually needs me to hold him until he cries, this lets me know he is no longer out of control (screamming, hitting, biting, kicking, or spitting on either myself or my other children). He is fully aware I love him and will do what is necessary to help him. He has a disorder called Reactive Attachment Disorder that his first family and years in fostercare have given him. We are trying to maintain his outrageous behavior so he does not have to live in a mental hospital but in a loving capable family environment. I know it sounds weird having to restrain your child and most do not wish this for a way of life but I assure you if I did not hold him when he is in this state people get hurt, himself included.

Over the last year and a half we have seen great improvements and hope things for him continue this way. He is adored and safe here with us. I can relate to your immediate anger at reading that post, I wasn't as clear as I could have been. I am dealing with the fallout of a very sad and abusive history. He is not EVER hurt in a restraint only held until he is able to control his own anger and is moved to tears instead of violence.