Thursday, June 23, 2011

"Bad Black People"

Things are so quiet around here without our friends. We are keeping busy with some deep cleaning and lots of time at the lake. We've had a couple of interesting events there over the last couple of weeks. When the Murphys were still here, we had the first incident. We live in a predominantly white area so a majority of the folks at the lake are white. A family/group of 10 or more AA people were there one afternoon. My friend and I lazily sat under the giant tent she brought and watched our kids splash around having a ball. This other family included 2 mid 20 yr old men that were more than a bit obnoxious. They were playing but had already injured a young child in their group and were scaring another. We had asked our kids to move out of their way after the men nearly trampoled our 3 yr olds. The men had a hard time staying confined to the rest of the lake and came crashing into our little area nearly taking out our little ones again. Both my friend and I jumped up began yelling to get them to halt instead of stomping all over our kids. This pissed them off. How dare the fat white ladies tell them what to do? Yes, they said that. We tried to explain we had pulled our kids out of their way if they could just stay to the left, all would be safe. That didn't sit well with them. They began making nasty comments and insulting us. We heard things like, "bad black people", "artificial insemination", "fat lesbians", and so on. We remained calm and polite after I informed them it wasn't artificial insemination, it was adoption. We eventually left. I can't bring Kerry anywhere without a scene. LOL

The kids and I were enjoying the lake again yesterday and as we were cleaning up our stuff I heard a kid crying. I assumed it was my little cryer and looked up to see what was wrong. To our surprise, it was a barely a year old little brown boy. I looked around to see if his mother was heading our way to get him. No one. His tiny feet were burning in the sand so I picked him up and began to search for his family. I looked directly at 3 famiies that were staring at me and asked if he was theirs. You hate to assume because they are white that he doesn't belong with them. No one was claiming him. There wasn't anyone near us or within hollering distance that was claiming him. I began heading towards the wooded picnic area. I saw from a distance that the family/group from the other day were there on blankets smoking and laughing. I yelled out to them as I approached and asked them if they belonged to him. They stared at me. No one responded. I looked back to the beach to make sure there weren't other people of color I missed. No one. I continued walking toward them and asked again. They saw me. They heard me. They stared. Maybe they were stunned after the other day that I was coming to talk to them, I don't know. Finally, a woman jumped up and walked towards me. I smiled, relieved they did know him. No thank you. No apology. She grabbed him and walked off holding her head back so her cigarette smoke didn't get in his face. I stood there shocked for a few seconds before turning around to gather my kids. When I got back to them, one of my kids tried to confirm they were the same family from the other day. My kids have issues with words coming out of order and hers came out, "Thats the bad black people from the other day?" instead of "Is that the people that said they were bad black people from the other day?" Her eyes became very big asshe tried to correct herself. She was mortified. I was so glad no one was within ear shot and quietly helped her correct herself. I can't wait to see how things go the next time we run into each other!

We have had a bit of news about their uncle. He is awake and off life support. They confirmed he had received a traumatic brain injury. He is aggressive and aggitated. It brings back so many memories for me from my husband's 2 previous head injuries. Right now they are worried about getting him home and all I can think of is how much their lives are going to change. How much he is going to change. Memory loss is difficult but the personality change is devastating. You feel powerless to help and things seem hopeless at times. I wish I could help. Instead I sit here reminded of our own history hoping they do not suffer long.

1 comment:

Tara - SanitySrchr said...

Uuuhhh boy! You and that Murphy character! ;)

I'm glad to hear their uncle is healing. I know nothing of traumatic brain injuries and their ultimate effects, but I'm sure it's a long road a'hoe. I'll be praying.