Thursday, June 24, 2010

Two Signatures Change Our Lives

I barely have time to catch my breath anymore but I didn't want today to pass without sharing something with you.

I received a call this morning from the G Gma. She was very excited and upset at the same time. She had spoken with the kids mother from the courthouse while she was awaiting the trial to terminate her rights. She asked for her Gma's advice and guidance with the decision and she declined to tell her what to do. She told her she couldn't do it anymore and no matter the outcome and she needed to think about what she felt was best for them, not her. She signed her rights away today with the condition we adopt all three. Their father's rights were involuntarily terminated today.

I cried. I cried for the kids, for their G Gma, and their parents. If I'm honest, I cried for all the hardship we will have during the next year while they learn our rules, their roles, grieve their parents, and how to accept our love. All of our lives changed today.

We had an incident with Patches last night that has forced our hand. She did close to $500 worth of damage to our home. She needs help. She needs her meds overhauled and not some quick weekend in the hospital. I signed all the paperwork to have her admitted into a residential treatment program in the coming weeks. Knowing me all too well, her therapist made me sign everything right then. I have backed out so many times because we had a good week, she said she wouldn't risk it. She could be gone 1-6 months. She will still be a part of our family and will return to us more stable. We haven't told her but she has asked to go numerous times. SHe knows she is struggling again and wants to be a healthy part of our family. I know she will do her best to get all she can from the program. It will be harder to make the other kids feel like she is still a part of us.


Kate said...

Wow. There is not much more to say than that. Wow.
<3 You all are always in my thoughts

Innocent Observer said...

Just told my husband. He wants to know "how the hell is she doing it?" My guess is that even you don't know! Love to you...I'm sending all the positive energy I can spare!

Kelly said...

Wow. Congratulations.

Lots of changes with the move and adding three more children all within such a short time. Must be hard on all of you. Hope things can settle down soon. Wishing Patches can get the help she needs.

Take care of yourself...if you can find the time. LOL

Lisa said...

I am so happy you are there for the kids and that this is not another battle (legally) that you have to deal with on top of all of the work you have ahead of you. As far as Patches goes, you have to do what's best for her at this time and keep emphasizing to her sibs that this is about what SHE needs (and wants apparently), not about what they want (ie her home with them regardless of her behaviors). I think we get so wrapped up in "damage control" that we forget that we really need to show them how to look out for others. After all, we're trying to teach them to ask for what they need first and foremost so they can get healthy. I pray that the transitions go smoothly for your family and that Patches blossoms in the care you are providing for her out of your home. She will come home a happier, more stable young lady.

Lyn said...

WOW What a day! Congrats on the new kiddos! (that's not a statement you say often LOL) and I'm sorry Patches is struggling! I wanted to know how you handle having 2 kids with the same name?

skomalley9 said...

I miss Patches so much and was sorry I was not able to see her the last day of school due to my health issues. I think you are making a very good choice for her future. In residential care she will get so much help and she and you deserve that. You know the girl is in my heart and will remain there for a long time.

Tudu said...

Lyn, I'm not how we are going to handle so many Michaels. Currently, we call them Dad, Michael D, and Michael M.

Ms. O'Malley, I'm glad you feel that way. It's such a hard decision and I am second guessing myself constantly. I know in my head, she needs this. My heart says, she will feel abandoned and unloved.