Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Best Mother's Day so far. I did say the f word before getting out of bed but Patches quietly went to her room stunned. Later she returned announcing that her meds had kicked in and she was ready to start the day over. We laid around and watched sappy movies and ate leftovers. I was thrilled to be drama free. I just had my birthday last week and the juvenile system scheduled Patches to see a judge in celebration. It was a waste of time. "You better stop hitting your Mom or I will have to think about detention or committing you to the state. How do you plan on stopping?" Patches stood and promised to use her coping skills. The judge seemed pleased with himself and nodded at me. I almost laughed. Seriously. It was stupid. We are pursuing residential treatment for her. I'm tired of being her punching bag and the kids are tired of her being in control of our family. Cyr has decided to try homeschooling. We have a great program here that is a virtual public school. She can earn her high school diploma and an associates degree at the same time. I think I may have to pull Ruthie from school and try it with her, too. She is really struggling. Both girls are pretty emotional lately. Ruthie is as close to a basket case as they come. Days in bed from depression and somatic symptoms. I was so glad the aggression stopped but this isn't good either. We are getting her started with play therapy and EMDR to help her cope a little better. It breaks my heart to watch her lay here and cry. We have increased her meds the last 3 months and took a break this month to see if she leveled out. I would say no. When she isn't crying, she is flat. She is working through feelings of guilt and and remorse for her past actions. I wish a band aid would help. She is one tough cookie. I know she will continue to work hard and get through this, too. Y'all just hide and watch.

6 comments:

Sarah said...

I would love to hear how EMDR works for her! Have you used it with any of your other kids? There are no EMDR providers near me who take my son's insurance and I have been debating whether or not it is worth the out of pocket expense to give it a try anyway...

GB's Mom said...

You are an awesome mom! I want to be that good!

Tudu said...

We have done it several times with Ruthie and Michael. It has been tremendously effective helping them cope with situations. If you found tapping helpful, EMDR is worth it. We saw a difference after one session.

Kate said...

I was on homeschooling for a year my freshman year of high school, and have to say it was one of the best things I ever did. I hope it's just as enjoyable for Cyr (and possibly Ruthie)
Praying for Ruthie and Patches.

Tee said...

I'm also really interested in hearing about the EMDR. Was recommended for my kid (11) but I'm worried it will just dredge up more old trauma rather than helping him with the trauma that's affecting him most right now. I don't know - Maybe if the therapist was actually certified in it, I'd feel more comfortable. it's helped a lot of adults I know. If you ever want to talk RTC, feel free to e-mail me. Kiddo's been there for a month now.

My3monkies said...

I just spent the last few days reading your entire blog. You are amazing, I wish I could have 1/2 your patience!!!
I've learned so much about mental illness from this blog.
I hope you and your beautiful family are doing well, and keep on doing what you do so well!