Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Best Mother's Day so far. I did say the f word before getting out of bed but Patches quietly went to her room stunned. Later she returned announcing that her meds had kicked in and she was ready to start the day over. We laid around and watched sappy movies and ate leftovers. I was thrilled to be drama free. I just had my birthday last week and the juvenile system scheduled Patches to see a judge in celebration. It was a waste of time. "You better stop hitting your Mom or I will have to think about detention or committing you to the state. How do you plan on stopping?" Patches stood and promised to use her coping skills. The judge seemed pleased with himself and nodded at me. I almost laughed. Seriously. It was stupid. We are pursuing residential treatment for her. I'm tired of being her punching bag and the kids are tired of her being in control of our family. Cyr has decided to try homeschooling. We have a great program here that is a virtual public school. She can earn her high school diploma and an associates degree at the same time. I think I may have to pull Ruthie from school and try it with her, too. She is really struggling. Both girls are pretty emotional lately. Ruthie is as close to a basket case as they come. Days in bed from depression and somatic symptoms. I was so glad the aggression stopped but this isn't good either. We are getting her started with play therapy and EMDR to help her cope a little better. It breaks my heart to watch her lay here and cry. We have increased her meds the last 3 months and took a break this month to see if she leveled out. I would say no. When she isn't crying, she is flat. She is working through feelings of guilt and and remorse for her past actions. I wish a band aid would help. She is one tough cookie. I know she will continue to work hard and get through this, too. Y'all just hide and watch.