We are adding another group pf professionals to our list this week. This one promises to have real resources and will be providing respite for our son. I'm not holding my breath but I do appreciate how so many people are trying to help him adjust. So now I have 3 appointments tomorrow alone in response to our weekend.
My little dude is struggling. Really that is an understatement. I don't see him being able to manage here much longer. I think I could manage him here until his size becomes an issue. We are all safe as long as I am able to physically stop him from hurting himself or others. I can do that now because he is the size of an 8 yr old and he is barely growing from year to year. Of course, we have other concerns like the fact I can no be alone with him due to false allegations. I'm not sure if he really believes those or if he is just confused. They seem like out right lies but he gets quite passionate. Who knows? We document them and luckily for us, he made one about the rtc he was in and they had video to go back and look at. We should have the update cameras installed son and will be able to do the same.
I am counting down the days to Orlando. I have most of the kids placed at friends or relatives homes for the long weekend I will be spending with all my favorite trauma mamas. I can't tell you enough how important it is to build a support system for yourself. Just being able to vent to someone that understands and doesn't judge you or your feelings is amazing. I wish that for every one of you. If you can't find a local support system, make your own like I did.
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If things keep going like this, you will probably end up having to find a long term residential home for him (do those even exist?). My son was not sexually abused, but his volitile behaviors led us down this same road - unfortunately there was NO HELP here in our state and we've been humored for the last 3 yrs. I could handle him when he was smaller too, he's still shorter than me and very thin, but extremely strong when he rages (aren't they all?) and he can find some reason to rage any day, any time. After exhausting all community resources and still coming up empty when it came to services, my husband started taking him to work with him every single day. This began almost 2 yrs ago and still goes on daily. When he hit 16 he started refusing school. Oh how I love that educator who kept talking to him about NOT quitting school at 16 for the 2 yrs before he turned 16 - it was so helpful don't ya think? So, anyway he won't go to school, he won't leave any of my home schooled kids alone, he constantly harasses me and, big surprise, loves to make false allegations against me too so I refuse to be alone with him. He also is very convincing and seems to completely believe the lies, even when confronted with videotaped evidence to the contrary or a room full of people who all saw the opposite of what he's claiming. My son is almost 18 and after years of being told how he "wasn't that bad" we are now being encouraged to seek guardianship of him. Yeah, because for 17 yrs. as his parents he wouldn't listen to us or do anything to help himself, but as a legal adult, he will be just fine if we get guardianship and get to keep banging our heads against the wall. Crazy days....I am losing hope for his future.
I think some kids just CANNOT heal in a family environment, no matter what we do or how badly we want them to. It's like they're stuck in this rut of always testing us, never allowing us in completely - and then throw in some severe mental illness on top of the already severe RAD behaviors and voila! recipe for disaster for the entire household.
Is there anywhere he could live (therapeutically) during the week and then come home for weekends/family times? There has got to be a balance to this that would be beneficial for the whole family.
Hey Girl,
I am SO SUPER EXCITED! I can't wait to see you.
Love ya!
Angela :-)
Hi, I am loving your blog. We were recently called about a relative placement of 8 siblings. We are very interested in taking everyone 6 & under which would be 6,5,4,2,1 and 8 months. However there is also an autistic child and a 12 year old. we are praying about it. We want to do what's in the best interest. I have 5 bios as well. I really need to speak with parents who have adopted large siblings and or autistic children/adopted out of birth order. the 12 year old is two years older than my olders. I'd love advice. Thanks BlessedMom
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