Monday, April 24, 2006

We had our Staffing with the kids SW, her Supervisor, our worker, her Supervisor, DH, and I last Tuesday. We found out the FPs, BPs, and the kids have no idea this is happening. Their therapist thinks that until the TPR appeal is over we should just say this is a move to put the kids together. The SW was supposed to have the conversation with everyone last Wednesday or Thursday but we have not heard anything yet.

After the very interesting conversation about the kids and where they are in school and all kinds of great stuff about them and their family we recieved their full files and WOW were we surprised. We got all the good stuff in person and read the files to find a completely different prospective. Several have school issues, one steals, one destroys her things, and many more things that were not mentioned.

Everyone agreed the kids would receive Attachment Therapy once placed here. We are very close to a center and since there aren't many centers, we are lucky. It was extremely important for us to be supported in the therapy and we are very pleased they were willing to allow them this. I have some experience with attachment parenting and have read a ton of books recently to refresh my memory. I really was not aware how much of it I was taught while working with kids in the institution and group home. I am concerned that I will not have the time to work with each child individually and what if they have a tantrum? I will be occupied with a child, will the others use this time to freak out and destroy the house or hurt another child? I am hoping to work out a system when I can figure out their behaviors.

The thing that stands out was the relationship between the parents and kids. The SWs said they are very bonded and love the kids and hoped for them to continue a relationship after the adoption, the files had a Family Assessment done and said the Mother had a "flat affect" towards the kids and visits. Other assessments said the kids did not respond to the parents when they walked in or out of a room. They did not rely on the parents to meet their needs and asked others to do so. I am very confused and have requested to watch a visitation between the kids and their parents without their knowing. They have them in a visitation center and the room has a one way mirror, I am hoping to meet with the FPs there to get more info in their current behaviors.

DFCS has agreed to let us speak with the therapist, FPs, teachers, OT/PT, and former FP that is also their speech therapist. I hope to get some insight on what is really going on. With so many points of view, I think we can get a good idea of what to expect.

We have set up a calender for our date to meet the kids and start visitation for the month of May. They will progress and end in an overnight for the weekend and then they will move in the following weekend 3 at a time. We are ready and excited to meet them and get this going, at the same time, I am scared to death.

Emma has started to freak about school and I have to wonder if she is stressing about the pending situation. I am so why wouldn't she be? She has started a little bit of baby talk and wants to be held more, so I am doing what I can to comfort her. Her world is about to come to a screeching halt. We have made arrangements for her to have sibling visits and DHs Mother's home for every other weekend so she can have a reason to get away and get some needed one on one time. She is really happy about it and missed her sisters.


Linda said...

I'm sure it feels great to have more information about the kids ... and it will feel even better once you get to meet them yourselves ... I'm sure that the visits will be good for Emma's worries too! I'll keep your family in my thoughts!

Lisa said...

I'm a former foster child and current child advocate.

After this entire process is finalized, please feel free to share your insights with me anytime!

Best wishes to you,