Friday, April 28, 2006
This woman is either so busy she needs to hand off some of her caseload or she is completely unorganized and incompetent. At the Staffing we discussed and made a tentative calender for the transition. She was supposed to tell the foster parents she has a forever home for the kids the next day and a week later she had not talked to them yet. As of today at 5PM she still has not let us know if the schedule was a go or not. It is so frustrating.
Monday, April 24, 2006
We had our Staffing with the kids SW, her Supervisor, our worker, her Supervisor, DH, and I last Tuesday. We found out the FPs, BPs, and the kids have no idea this is happening. Their therapist thinks that until the TPR appeal is over we should just say this is a move to put the kids together. The SW was supposed to have the conversation with everyone last Wednesday or Thursday but we have not heard anything yet.
After the very interesting conversation about the kids and where they are in school and all kinds of great stuff about them and their family we recieved their full files and WOW were we surprised. We got all the good stuff in person and read the files to find a completely different prospective. Several have school issues, one steals, one destroys her things, and many more things that were not mentioned.
Everyone agreed the kids would receive Attachment Therapy once placed here. We are very close to a center and since there aren't many centers, we are lucky. It was extremely important for us to be supported in the therapy and we are very pleased they were willing to allow them this. I have some experience with attachment parenting and have read a ton of books recently to refresh my memory. I really was not aware how much of it I was taught while working with kids in the institution and group home. I am concerned that I will not have the time to work with each child individually and what if they have a tantrum? I will be occupied with a child, will the others use this time to freak out and destroy the house or hurt another child? I am hoping to work out a system when I can figure out their behaviors.
The thing that stands out was the relationship between the parents and kids. The SWs said they are very bonded and love the kids and hoped for them to continue a relationship after the adoption, the files had a Family Assessment done and said the Mother had a "flat affect" towards the kids and visits. Other assessments said the kids did not respond to the parents when they walked in or out of a room. They did not rely on the parents to meet their needs and asked others to do so. I am very confused and have requested to watch a visitation between the kids and their parents without their knowing. They have them in a visitation center and the room has a one way mirror, I am hoping to meet with the FPs there to get more info in their current behaviors.
DFCS has agreed to let us speak with the therapist, FPs, teachers, OT/PT, and former FP that is also their speech therapist. I hope to get some insight on what is really going on. With so many points of view, I think we can get a good idea of what to expect.
We have set up a calender for our date to meet the kids and start visitation for the month of May. They will progress and end in an overnight for the weekend and then they will move in the following weekend 3 at a time. We are ready and excited to meet them and get this going, at the same time, I am scared to death.
Emma has started to freak about school and I have to wonder if she is stressing about the pending situation. I am so why wouldn't she be? She has started a little bit of baby talk and wants to be held more, so I am doing what I can to comfort her. Her world is about to come to a screeching halt. We have made arrangements for her to have sibling visits and DHs Mother's home for every other weekend so she can have a reason to get away and get some needed one on one time. She is really happy about it and missed her sisters.
After the very interesting conversation about the kids and where they are in school and all kinds of great stuff about them and their family we recieved their full files and WOW were we surprised. We got all the good stuff in person and read the files to find a completely different prospective. Several have school issues, one steals, one destroys her things, and many more things that were not mentioned.
Everyone agreed the kids would receive Attachment Therapy once placed here. We are very close to a center and since there aren't many centers, we are lucky. It was extremely important for us to be supported in the therapy and we are very pleased they were willing to allow them this. I have some experience with attachment parenting and have read a ton of books recently to refresh my memory. I really was not aware how much of it I was taught while working with kids in the institution and group home. I am concerned that I will not have the time to work with each child individually and what if they have a tantrum? I will be occupied with a child, will the others use this time to freak out and destroy the house or hurt another child? I am hoping to work out a system when I can figure out their behaviors.
The thing that stands out was the relationship between the parents and kids. The SWs said they are very bonded and love the kids and hoped for them to continue a relationship after the adoption, the files had a Family Assessment done and said the Mother had a "flat affect" towards the kids and visits. Other assessments said the kids did not respond to the parents when they walked in or out of a room. They did not rely on the parents to meet their needs and asked others to do so. I am very confused and have requested to watch a visitation between the kids and their parents without their knowing. They have them in a visitation center and the room has a one way mirror, I am hoping to meet with the FPs there to get more info in their current behaviors.
DFCS has agreed to let us speak with the therapist, FPs, teachers, OT/PT, and former FP that is also their speech therapist. I hope to get some insight on what is really going on. With so many points of view, I think we can get a good idea of what to expect.
We have set up a calender for our date to meet the kids and start visitation for the month of May. They will progress and end in an overnight for the weekend and then they will move in the following weekend 3 at a time. We are ready and excited to meet them and get this going, at the same time, I am scared to death.
Emma has started to freak about school and I have to wonder if she is stressing about the pending situation. I am so why wouldn't she be? She has started a little bit of baby talk and wants to be held more, so I am doing what I can to comfort her. Her world is about to come to a screeching halt. We have made arrangements for her to have sibling visits and DHs Mother's home for every other weekend so she can have a reason to get away and get some needed one on one time. She is really happy about it and missed her sisters.
Friday, April 07, 2006
We had the Child Presentation today! A few things surprised us, most we had assumed would be an issue. All 6 have speech delays and 5 are considered severe, 4 have borderline intellectual functioning, 2 have RAD and Adjustment Disorder, and one has ODD. I am scared. I am convinced it is nearly impossible and still is what I have always dreamed. I know there will moments of doubt, that I will regret this decision briefly many times. I also know my top 100 moments are yet to come. I have no doubt I will love these children, my only fear is will they ever love me?
I have some idea of what I am about to get myself into, but what if I am wrong? How will my dauhgter be affected? Will she be grateful for someone to grow up beside or will she be injured by the dangerous child next to her?
My DH said the sweeted thing to our worker this morning. He said her knows he has not met these kids but he already misses them. He announced he was ready to move forward without a moments hesitation. I sure hope he is ready for this huge change. We have talked in length today and I feel he has thought it through NOW (at least I think so).
More about the kids behavior and personality. The eldest,10, is parentified and very kind. She enjoys joking around and reading to her sisters. I worry the most about the 8 year old, she has some serious issues but is not harmful to others. She hates school and can be aggressive when angry. The 7yr old is a swet child that is starting to copy her older sisters behaviors. The 5 yr old boy is a handful at school and very small for his age. One of the 4 yrold twins has Cerebral Palsy and is the least delayed in speech, the other is very talkative but difficult to understand.
We have decided to hire a nanny of sorts to help me spend individual time with the children and to be an extra set of eyes when DH is working. A maid serice will come in once a week so I won't be crazy about the house.
DH has reluctantly agrees to put the wide screen away until the children can handle not destroying things. He was very upset but agrees would be more upset if they broke it in a tantrum.
We have been discussing adding another room on the ground floor and move our room down there and the destructive child into her own room. We just can't do it right away, we just finished the upstairs.
I have so many things on my mind right now but I will have to put them in writing later. Tomorrow I have a meeting with many of the evacuees I helped last fall. I love it when we get together. I am cooking lunch for about 30 people and must get to it.
I have some idea of what I am about to get myself into, but what if I am wrong? How will my dauhgter be affected? Will she be grateful for someone to grow up beside or will she be injured by the dangerous child next to her?
My DH said the sweeted thing to our worker this morning. He said her knows he has not met these kids but he already misses them. He announced he was ready to move forward without a moments hesitation. I sure hope he is ready for this huge change. We have talked in length today and I feel he has thought it through NOW (at least I think so).
More about the kids behavior and personality. The eldest,10, is parentified and very kind. She enjoys joking around and reading to her sisters. I worry the most about the 8 year old, she has some serious issues but is not harmful to others. She hates school and can be aggressive when angry. The 7yr old is a swet child that is starting to copy her older sisters behaviors. The 5 yr old boy is a handful at school and very small for his age. One of the 4 yrold twins has Cerebral Palsy and is the least delayed in speech, the other is very talkative but difficult to understand.
We have decided to hire a nanny of sorts to help me spend individual time with the children and to be an extra set of eyes when DH is working. A maid serice will come in once a week so I won't be crazy about the house.
DH has reluctantly agrees to put the wide screen away until the children can handle not destroying things. He was very upset but agrees would be more upset if they broke it in a tantrum.
We have been discussing adding another room on the ground floor and move our room down there and the destructive child into her own room. We just can't do it right away, we just finished the upstairs.
I have so many things on my mind right now but I will have to put them in writing later. Tomorrow I have a meeting with many of the evacuees I helped last fall. I love it when we get together. I am cooking lunch for about 30 people and must get to it.
Monday, April 03, 2006
The files arrived today!!! DFCS paid $53 to ship them to our agency. Our worker will be here Friday in the AM to go over them. I was surprised to hear they only sent infant pictures, nothing remotely current. My worker said the Child Life Histories are from within the last 6 months and the Psychologicals are from last summer.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)