Friday, October 13, 2006

The Visits

Their caseworker was over an hour late (surprise, surprise) and showed up at shower/bed time. The kids were very clingy and when told the story of ending visits and pending adoption we saw lots of tears. I was surprised by who cried, the ones that did not when we shared it with them. I wonder if they do not trust us or if they feel it is more real coming from her. Probably a little of both.

We had their family visit 2 days after that and the parents were a few minutes late. Mom was dressed like a hooker and Dad and Uncle smoked a little stuff before heading in to the visit. The maternal Gparents and GGpa came along with maternal uncle and aunt. GGpa was a trip and made hilarious comments about needed an new woman b/c his died 4 yrs ago. My Dh was laughing so hard I was almost uncomfortable, then I found out what the old man was saying and I was quite shocked. He could barley walk and spoke in a whisper, you just wouldn't suspect he was a dirty old man. He was the highlight of the evening.

Their aunt made sure to tell all of them that they were loved and we would take very good care of them. The family brought the kids some of their favorite foods and they munched down. We took a few pictures and then it was goodbye. The older girls and my son broke down when the parents did. We had to pry our son and D from their arms. I felt bad for the parents but they could have made it so much easier if they would have let go.

Once in the car they were a mess. We let them cry for a dew and then pulled over for gas. A few had to potty before the 2.5 hour drive home. All tears stopped when Dh gave them a dollar to buy anything they wanted. They laughed and giggled the rest of the way.

They went to therapy the next morning and did very well. All the kids spoke of their feelings and seem to understand what is happening. My oldest, B, is doing so much better than we had thought she would. We have been working with recognizing their feelings when they are having them and she wrote down about 25 feelings, thoughts,and needs without being asked. She brought them to me the other night and we talked about each one. She rocks! She is mad at her parents and the Judge. She need to cry and have snuggle time. She thanked me for keeping the kids together and being supportive of her parents. She feels like she had something to do with being in care and she is really worried her parents will split up now. She is also happy she will be adopted by us. We laughed at the being adopted one b/c it changes everyday and that's alright. She agreed to keeping a diary about her feelings if the kids wouldn't rip out the pages. LOL

My other daughter, Em, hit a major milestone last night. She can read!!! She was as surprised as I was. She sounded everything out and read a whole book. I am so proud. We now have 3 readers in our house! If this keeps up Dh and I will have to stop spelling everything to each other and learn piglatin.

Overall, things are good here. The kids are getting comfortable with us and our home. We are having a tough time this week with emotions so high about their family but it is much better than I ever expected. I love my kids, now to find a bigger house.


Soontobemom said...

Wow! You are making such progress with these children. We are still waiting to be approved for adoption through DFACS. We are going on 6 months now since our homestudy was turned in. I am growing very anxious, but reading your posts helps to keep me sane. You are doing a wonderful job and I commend your dedication and hardwork.

Christy Baxter

musemoon said...

Wow. How beautiful!!!!! You guys are becoming a family. I could understand how hard it is for them, but you guys are wonderful and they are realizing how great their lives are gonna become.

I am so very very happy for you and your family.

All my love!!!