I Better Not Be

First, I will start off with an apology. I have so little free time to blog that I do it in spurts. I really want a more regular posting but just can't seem to get it. I love to read other's blogs and get irritated that they do it so rarely or when they miss a day and they are regular posters. Of course not really mad at them but more bummed to miss something interesting in their lives. I know very sad I am living vicariously through blogs of people I do not know. Any how, if anyone else feels that way I am sorry to have treated you this way and I will make more of an effort. There done and on to more exciting news.

Next, I book our villa in Orlando and we are leaving Saturday Nov 18th and returning Sat Nov 25th. It is paid in full so I can now focus on Disney tickets. We are staying in a 6 bedroom villa with a pool, games room, computer with high speed internet, ton's of games, and kid's apartment that includes a Playstation. WOOHOO!! They know NOTHING! My sister, her kids, her boyfriend, and my inlaws will all be there in town and we will celebrate the holiday together.

We had a rough weekend here, I try not to go into details but I will give you a glimpse of this one.... My son had several meltdowns that include screaming horrible things at me and his sisters. He usually kicks me in the shin and runs to his room so he can tear up some of his things or kick the door. He yelled one too many times that he hated me and did not want to be my son or live here anymore. I calmly apologized for being inadequate and escorted him to the front porch. I told him I loved him and he was always welcome here if he chose to do his part for the family and not scream specific horrible things at me. I fully understand he will be screaming some horrible things I just don't want to hear he hates me and basically wishes I would drop dead. I was very worried he would call my bluff but at 6 yrs old he just sat in the yard and cried. I packed a small bag with a change of clothes and a pull up so he would wet his clothes and gave him his bookbag b/c continuing his education is very important. I told him to hurry and get a job b/c food is expense and he will need it soon. I reassured him I wanted him and loved him if he ever decided to play by my rules he was welcome. I told him to hurry up and find somewhere b/c it was going to start raining and get very cold when the sun went down. It took him awhile of being alone in the yard with DH watching from the window to decide I wasn't so bad. He broke down and said he was sorry so I welcomed him home. Later I told him he was driving me crazy and he responded, "That's my plan." I about lost it.

My 7 yr old, D, needs constant supervision and Saturday night in the shower she touched one of the twins, C, and claimed she was playing Mommy and washed her privates. She knew what she was doing and we were right there when she did it. I am still amazed at her that she does this right there for all to see. She will not shower with anyone again. I know, she probably should not have been in there but Dh was right there and we have so many showers to get done or they stink. C was not traumatized and really thought they were playing so we discussed games are not a reason to touch privates, blah, blah, blah. In one ear and out the other with that child. D wonders why no one wants to play with her? The therapist is focusing on that issue now trying to show her her behaviors make others uncomfortable. DUH!

Lastly, I am concerned I may be in the first stage of a horrible (only to me) condition.....pregnancy. I do not want to be and I have not confirmed anything as it is too early. I have not felt well and actually threw up this morning. I am probably over reacting and just suffering from stress. All I can say is I do not think I can handle a baby in this current situation. I have a history of ectopic pregnancies and that can be easy or very hard to treat. I have had both many times, you would think I would take precautions, huh. There just has not been a need to and then I throw up. Keep your fingers crossed that I have a virus and too mush stress.