Monday, July 10, 2006

My first conversation with the director of my agency and she was so very nice about it but why did it have to be about this? My 7 yr old and one of the twins were talking to me about what they wanted to wear to the dentist today and helped pick outfits for the little ones and I found an outfit for the 7 yr old in their room. I waited for her to dress and went to give the other 2 girls their clothes. Came back in and the 7 yr old says, "I was taking her picture". The 4 yr old had no clothes on and was on the bed. I was surprised to say the least but was full blown shocked when I saw the pictures. She had her positioned in 4 very disturbing pictures on her sister's camera phone. It seemed to me she could not have thought these poses up herself. Who knows. She was surprised I was surprised. I did not over react and told her that was unsafe. It was hard to keep her tuned in to me b/c she shuts down so fast but we did talk a little. She knows now that we do not touch other people's privates, look at other people's privates, show ours, and we do NOT photograph ours or others private areas. I had not thought to add that before, obviously my mistake. What else have I forgotten? I am confident they will help us out with that in the very near future with things like strangers, hanging from the roof (our son's thoughts, WOW), throwing rocks, when we should tell mom and dad stuff and what stuff is the right stuff. I had them tell me their thoughts and ideas around this. I think we are on the same page for now, I am sure they will come up with another situation we had not prepared for. They are so clever and creative. I did delete the pictures immediately for fear they would be seen. AAAHHH!!!

We woke to our 8 yr old's horrible mood, she picked a fight with anyone that would let her. Something my 5 yr old said set her off and what a roller coaster ride we had for about an hour. The 5, 4, and 6 yr olds were talking when they moved back with their mom and dad. My 5 yr old repeated what has been said a million times by everyone in the house, "if you can't go home you will all live together here with us". The 8 yr old screamed and sucked the 6 yr old in and they went after my 5 yr old. It happened within seconds and I heard it start to escalate and ran in there to see my 6 yr old shove my 5 yr old and the 8 yr old freaking out. She withdrew when I attempted to discuss and gave her the option of talking now or later. She chose later and went downstairs only to harass hte others. I called her out and she actually explained she was angry and had no idea why and 5 yr old made her mad so she went after the other girls. WOW, go girl. She was praised for verbalizing it and told she had to chose a good deed for each of the people she went after. She bawled in my lap for about 45 minutes and calmed to do her good deeds. She realized it was out of her hands about going home and it is a possibility she may not. She asked me about 10 times today if she could live here if she can't go home and if I would make her leave if she was mean to me. I reassured her she was welcome and she seemed to need me more today in a positive way. Progress? Probably not but she releases her emotions freely here.

On a MUCH better note. All of the children have seen a dentist. The younger three are fine and go back in 6 months. The older three have an appointment again tomorrow for fillings and sealants. My 10 yr old is having 4 baby teeth pulled b/c they are very loose and the other tooth has come in under it. She has been complaining about them and has not been able to eat much without pain for a couple of days. We did have some anxiety show it's evil head but the folks at the office were great and gave us a separate area to wait until they could go back out and play video games and watch Monsters, Inc. They all did as they were told by the staff. We went to lunch after the appropriate length of time and then to the park. Since we have been back, several moments of varying levels of tantrums, so they are back to normal. I was beginning to feel like I was in control of our day, thank goodness they could tell I needed some cuddle time and obliged.

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