Monday, June 19, 2006

Very sad thing happened today, my 8 yr old was told to throw a box she destroyed during a meltdown yesterday away. She took the usual half an hour to comply and meanwhile the other children and I had moved on with life. We were all in my room talking and playing on the computer when I heard her crying. This is not unusual so I did not jump up to her rescue, I assumed she was still mad about having to clean up after herself. She started screaming and I did not recognize the sound so I ran down to her, thinking she was hurt. Turns out she didn't see me around the first floor and though I had left her behind. She actually sobbed in my lap until she fell asleep clinging to me. I felt horrible. I know I didn't do anything wrong but I was surprised she became so upset. She has not left my side, literally, the rest of the day. My husband took the other girls with him to get a part for his truck and ice cream and she refused to leave me behind. As I am typing this she is about 2 feet away in my bed watching news instead of playing. I wonder what happened in her past that has her so upset. I would love to get feedback if anyone has any ideas, she won't talk to me about it at all.

1 comment:

Linda said...

Well, it could simply be that she fears being abandoned because she has been moved around so much ... bio family to foster family to you ... it is good that she still craves the stability and permanency that you can give her, many foster kids stop hoping that they will ever stay in one home forever ... she obviously desparately wants to be a part of your family and wants reassurance that it really is permanent.

It could also be that her bio family left the kids alone at some point ... it might not even be something that she remembers consciously, but being alone brings back that panic that she would've felt even as a toddler being alone. Come to think of it, it could also be that as an infant/toddler/preschooler, no one responded when she cried or needed attention ... or left her alone in her bedroom.

Just a few random thought based on my friend's experiences with her kids. But I would say that it is a VERY positive thing that she still craves that reassurance that you will always be there ... at some point, she will also realize that she can leave and you will still be there when she comes back ... don't worry, she won't always be attached to your hip, lol!