I'm Back!!

My computer and then internet have been down for 2 weeks. I had become so dependent upon the darn thing I did not think I would survive the first few days. Funny thing is that I eventually forgot about it.

So much has happened that I don't even know where to begin. We have told the children about Tpr and now that visits will be stopped after the next one. DFCS was supposed to tell the kids and did not so we waited until they asked about the visits and gently explained without any hoopla and they all took it in stride. No one has reacted like we anticipated. They are sad and have expressed it w/o rages.

My oldest,B, has had her first tantrum on Thursday but it was over an invite to attend a group at school, she thought she was in trouble and once I calmed her and explained it she was fine. She has real fears of being kicked out of our home and needs to be reassured regularly she is here to stay. Please, one little screamming, kicking episode and we would give up? No way! Maybe someday she will believe but not anytime soon. She did tell her therapist if she has to be adopted, we were the ones she would want to do it.

P gave us such a hard time in the first few months and we were so worried about school b/c what she has done there in the past. She rocks! I "caught" her sounding out words on a flash card a couple of weeks ago and I told her she could no longer fool me. That was the begining of the "new" her. She reads everyday and works really hard on her homework w/o an arguement. She looks forward to school and showing us how well she is doing. I had her IEP meeting last week and the child that had no friends at any other school has developed multiple friendships and seems appropriate with them. When walking down the hall at school her name is called by lots of children from other classes. She is so proud of herself and she has been trying to help younger kids. Who is this kid and will she stay? She is a joy to be around and it seems to have come about b/c we insist we "know" she is smart and expect her to do her best.

D, my little cryer has replaced crying with multiple boo boos and complaints. She is really struggling in school and they have begun testing her. She is in 1st grade and was promoted from K 2 years ago with the promise she would be tested for learning disabilities and they never did so she was retained last year ans is repeating 1st grade. She does not recognise letters or spounds and she is falling so far behind now that she is acting pitiful in class to avoid doing work. It is very sad but we hope to get this worked out ASAP.

My son is a doll. He is getting better and better. Of course they see nothing at school and he is an angel there. We have our moments here but I have learned some ways to avoid triggers like the words chore, clean, no, and homework. By eliminating those words by making them games instead we were able to get him to cooperate with those activities. We took his video games away and he has made huge progress with his violence toward the other kids. Our poor bus driver has gotten the brunt of my kids and he will be suspended from the bus Monday for hitting another student. We have a special game evey night where I give him 100 kisses and he gives me 100 kisses that he LOVES and talks about all the time. Makes me wonder how these kids have been treated by other parents that my children are so attention starved.

C was told her braces on the her legs were not helping her anymore and she could discontinue theri use for now. She is thrilled to say the least. Her tantrums have increased but are manageable. She is working on writing but can't hold the pencil well enough to get it yet.

A is either speaking better or we have learned her private language. All of them are working hard in speech and doing very well but she is really focused on it b/c outsiders do not understand her at all. She is a really sweet and caring child and does not need to be told more than once what I expect. I am starting to believ she is smarter than I originally thought.

E is adjusting well and the other kids have said she feels like theri "real" sister. She loves having them here. Her Mother is having a really hard time right now and is using again so our contact has become sporadic. She has also been told she has a tumor on her brain and a prblem with her only kidney. I am worried about her but am protecting our daughter fromthe detailsuntil we know her prognosis. E is doing well in school and I love her teacher's style adn enthusiasum.

We are excited about Halloween and the kids have decided on their costumes. Pookie and I dress as well so we ought to be a sight that evening in the neighborhood. We plan on puttin up our decoprations this weekend.

Life is getting good, I am know it is going to have some downs in the near future but for now I am enjoying the good. They have adjusted VERY well to our home and school. I think they are handling the parent's visitation thing too well and we will have some real fits after the last visit. Who could blame them. Right now we are working on 2 things, 1 is to appreciate their things and treat them well, and the other is to feel their feelings and to say what they are and what caused them.

Just in case I didn't say it enough, MY KIDS ARE FANTASTIC AND I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!

Kidney Stones suck!

Fun, fun, fun! I have a kidney stone that refuses to leave. They are not fun. At first I thought I was having another ectopic pregnancy rupture b/c the pain was so bad. It just would not stop, it was consuming. I hate pain medication and have been forced to take it to control the pain but it makes me dizzy and woozy, they are not a good combination for parenting a bunch of kids. Now I have flu like symptoms and a fever so infection has probably set in so off to the doctor again. My poor husband has learned what I do and has decided I am not allowed to die until after he does b/c he does not want to be left alone with the kids. LOL

On a worse note, my worker is coming today to discuss how to tell the kids they are stopping their family visits. We knew it was coming but I want to cry for them. This is going to be a tough time for all of us here for some time to come.

B is such a good girl but I have had my concerns lately and this week she stole $30 from somewhere at school. She was given a 3rd try at the truth and we got some crazy story about the bus. We have thought she was stealing money from here but can't prove anything. Several of the kids and my husband have had money missing over the last few months and we had figured it was her.

Stealing is awful, but this is something I have no problem addressing hundreds of times with a child. It is not me so I don't find it embarrassing as some parents do. My husband is annoyed by it but we can work through this. It does make me wonder what will be too much? The things I felt were too much for me before the kids are just not that big of a deal now. Peeing is not fun but he has to clean it up, so go for it, son. The fits are not fun but for some reason I do not take anything they say personally. Is that the key? I have no idea. I see others on the forums I read disrupting over what I consider normal adoption issues, things I expect my children to do. I do not want to say they are wrong b/c for them it is too much but how were they not prepared? I expected my life to be horrible so I was pleasantly surprised when they weren't. Once I started to love them there was no turning back, bring on the crap, I can handle it and I will love you anyway.