We met the kids tomorrow! I called the foster parents last night to arrange a time to be there and WOW what a conversation. I talked to one of them for about an hour and a half and the other for over 3 hours!
The foster mom of the younger kids is thrilled they have found a forever home. She has had them for a year and will be supportive of us as best she can. She was very frank and helpful in giving info about their needs and what behaviors to expect. She keeps the older group sometimes on the weekend and said this group is as good as it gets with foster children. (Her words not mine) She claims they have problems but as long as they are supervised they are manageable. They do struggle to do simple tasks but not out of anger, just b/c they do not know how. She says she will miss them terribly.
The foster mom to the older kids had all 6 of them for 2 years when they were returned to their parents and eventually got the older 3 back but did not have room for all of them. SHe said she was very mad at this situation and I was worried the first 10 minutes of the conversation that she might sabatoge this for the kids w/o meaning to. She really opened up about her feelings and I comforted her by telling her we do want the kids to maintain healthy relationships in their lives. SHe has had an important role in their young lives. She apologized for refering to me as "that woman" prior to our conversation and we both laughed when I told her she could call me anything as long as she did not call me late for dinner. SHe is supportive of the children being together and agrees to help make that happen.
She does have a close relationship with the kids parents and warned me to watch out that they may try to take them and run. She says they will not harm us or the kids and that they really love them and want what is best for them. They are heartbroken that they won't ever get their children back. She also warned me they have an extensive history of false allegations against the foster parents, all of them except her.
DFCS begged the parents on Wed to consider dropping the appeal in exchange of an open adoption. It makes me feel like this is some sort of bribe. We agreed to an open adoption either way. The parents have low IQs and may not understand what open adoption is or thatthis is a bribe of sorts. We get to meet them on Wed so my fingers are crossed that all goes well. I am hoping the foster mother says some god things about us and that will ease their minds a little.
Byt he way, I have a pop up blocker on here that does not allow me to spell check. It is driving me crazy!!!!!!!!