The Rest of the Story

After the last post, we had to call the day at MGM short so I could try to find a dentist. I had 2 fillings fall out (one on each side) and after a few days it became difficult to eat or breathe, you know the important things. I could not find a dentist to see me before the holiday and ended up finding a physician that took pitty on me and prescribed antibiotics and pain medication. $250 later I was back at the parks and eating soft foods. My dentist here will see me Friday to fix this and my sweet husband told me to go ahead and get my teeth whitened at the same time, it's my Christmas present and I have been begging for months. I know, not your typical request for a gift but I really want it.

Back to the kids. They got better and even though they had a lot of little fits, they were easily distracted and pulled it together quickly. They mommy shopped the entire trip. It started to get on my nerves and combined with my pain, I was not the chipper positive me at the end. They broke the XBOX by putting a parental control on it and now we have no idea what the code is so we can not use it.

B, was pretty handsy with my nieces and they told her so and she was embarrassed. How else will she learn? She did handle it ok but it was hard for my niece to say something but she hated holding hands and being hugged CONSTANTLY. When we got back we discovered she had a major project due in 2 days and had known about it for a month. She finished it up and turned it in today so we will see. I did help more than I intended or should have so next time Dad is up.

P, kept complaining no one likes her or wants to play with her and that was unusual for her. She was pretty high strung so why would they. This child had a TV in her room and would not come out if allowed to watch it. She has handled getting back to school well.

D, is so hard to reach. She is so delayed and just does not get things. She pouted a lot and felt sorry for herself. She did not fit in with any of the kids and does not play with but around others anyway. She did get to speak to Crush from Nemo and did it in front of lots of people, she did well. I am trying so hard to bond with her but it is very hard. I have asked again to have them assessed for attachment therapy b/c we are making tiny steps but we need help.

A, is having a very difficult time readjusting for school. He has raged every morning and afternoon until bed for days. I am at a loss, I do not know what else to do. I know things will be back to our normal after I go to the dentist, let's hope we all survive until then. He has "lost" his homework notebook for the umpteenth time so he has tons of work to make up. He spent every moment he could on the XBOX and barely came up for air. He is a brave little booger in the pool and loved being thrown in, he would do double flips into the pool. My DH was exhausted from all the throwing and had to hide.


C, has been glued to my leg for weeks and frankly I want to scream. She is becoming possessive and aggressive over me. She did well on vacation and barely complained about the pain she was in. She had a hard time keeping up and loved having a stroller tote her. Her legs ached every night and had to be massaged but she did not complain. She is anxious for her new AFOs and asks about them all the time.


A, is a trip. She is trying so hard to stop biting her nails and asks me about every hour if they are long enough to trim. Her speech is so poor she is very difficult to understand but she is working so hard on it and making huge steps in that area. She has earned a special evening with Dad for her great behavior. She was very rude to DH the first few months b/c she did not know how or when to joke and got herself into lots of trouble with DH. She does not show that attitude as much anymore and enjoys spending time with him now. She loved the vacation and while the extended family does not understand her she handles it so well. She thinks it is them not her and will talk down to them when she has to repeat herself too many times. She had us all cracking up.

Disney

We are here and I will have to keep this short b/c I can here them rumbling in their beds. I promise to finish later.

Our villa is the most beautiful thing ever! Only problem, the owner did not pay the gas bill so no hot water, pool heat, or clothes dryer! So that was all fixed last night and although the guy is a jerk, the home is gorgeous! The younger kids think we live here now and this will be our new life, you know day after day of amusemnet parks, eating out, and swimming all night. It took a few days to realize they had this impression and now they are mad at me for ruining their lives.

We have been to Epcot and Animal Kingdom and will go to MGM today. We started off with the most boring and every day will get better. Lots of tantrums, you know the kind. At home I feel we are doing so much better and this has been a glimpse into reality. Living with them day to day, we have gotten used to avoiding certain things and how to minimize certain behaviors but this is a free for all and they feel out of control no matter how close I keep them. The are actually doing well about bringing it back down a notch but I see how disturbed my children really are and I had to take a moment last night to cry in the bathroom. The look normal, can even pretend to be normal for short periods but they are not and all this fun has highlighted that for me. I felt guilty for using the Guest Assistance Cards here and quickly realized, we are what they are for. I guess I had hoped we were beyond some of this or maybe I am just used to this. That card has saved us. We do not wait at any attraction, we walk up show the card and get on. Unbelievable! The kids see all these pwople waiting in lines (it's one of the busiest times of the year) and remarked why don't they just go in this way? Uh, b/c we are emotionally challenged and Disney doesn't want us near their guests in case you freak out and start kicking people? Well, that's what I was thinking but just told them we have connections and are special guests.

SO much more so little time. I will try to finish tonight.

Conferences

I had 5 teacher conferences back to back and the kids had to sit in the hall the entire time. They were in 20 minute intervels and we had to walk to each class between. I really had a wonderful time listening to how great my kids control their issues at school. It just amazes me how well they do there and it seems that most are fitting in and making at least a friend.

My oldest is a friend magnet and has helped another child develope her skills and fit in better. She is a caregiver and loves that role. She used to sit alone b/c she had to go to the clinic every day before lunch to have the her blood sugar level checked due to diabetes. This was making it hard for her to fit in b/c she was having to sit alone at another table for lack of room. My child now walks her to the clinic and sits with her daily. The teacher was tickled that now they have a posse of 6 that all save seats and wait for them to return. Way to Go, Girl!!!

P is doing good and starting to become lazy with her effort. She is a smart girl she puts a ton of effort into not doing well. D and A are not doing as well socially or academically but much better there than here. They are both very delayed and D is still waiting to get the services she needs. E rocks! She is a social butterfly and picks up on things quickly. SHe likes to help others but can get too rushed and needs to take her time and do a good job. SHe gets her feelings hurt by her brother on the playground almost everyday. We are working on toughening her up a bit.

So conferences were good and then I go to leave and I hear noise in the hall where the kids are. I found them running up and down the hall and wrestling over a ball. I always have them bring along things to entertain them for our many waiting room visits and appointments. They did very well the first 4 conferences but the 5th was too much to bare. After I addressed their behavior and we were leaving, the last teacher I had been talking to stopped me. She said another teacher witnessed them pulling the glued down food and candy off of the art projects in the hall. You heard me, they ate a bunch of kid's artwork. She was concerned about their health b/c of eating glue and where the food had been before it was glued down and so on. I was embarassed, but they have eaten out of the trash can, it could not be worse than that. The children that did this were given PB and Js for dinner with carrot sticks and the usual water. The other 2 had the planned Chinese take out and soda. They handled it well and even told me they knew they already had their treat for the day and didn't deserve a special dinner. We may be back sliding but a few are really getting the hang of this.

We are leaving for Disney tomorrow night. They still have no idea and I am about to flip from excitement. I have them completely packed and only need to work on Pookie's and mine. My menu is planned and grocery list is made. I have printed out all the directions and receipts for the tickets and villa. We got a great deal on 6 day tickets for the price of 4 so we can leisurely attack each park. I have my letter from the therapist that describes their issues and our needs from the park so we qualify for the Guest Assistance Card and should have minimal waiting for each attraction. If you plan on going to Disney and have children with invisible disabilities, you should check out this program. I was relieved and very happy they offer this and my kids will have a much better time without the stress of close quaters and tons of waiting.

A Bad Week

Some weeks are pretty good and then we regress. My son is back to the begining aggressive. I thought I was prepared for the inevitable steps back but was caught off guard and more than a little mad. He is back to hitting and kicking me every day. I want to scream! He treats me as lss than human and is so good ant school and with my DH. I am looking at ways to stop him from monopolizing all my energy and time. He takes all my energy from the other children and I need to find a way to curtail that.

My 7 yr old is starting to lie about people. Good times are a comin! She has discovered she can get attention ofr this and has done it at school about the other children. This will probably take the place of millions of boo boos and constant crying. I know, not a chance she would trade a couple of difficult issues for another.

More later, I have 5 teacher conferences today!!

Twice in a day

My kid's school is serving Thanksgiving Lunch for the parents to enjoy with their children for the next 2 days. First of all, they did not consult me and they scheduled 1 today and 4 tomorrow. I mean come on people, I have am raising 20% of the school population couldn't you just run the entire school's scheduled activities by me so my kids can enjoy them w/o chaos? I know that can't really do that but I wish they would b/c we get the short end sometimes with so many attending the same school.

Secondly, they served some sort of chopped turkey, hard canned peaches, smushy seasoned bread cubes I am sure they attempted to pass off as dressing, and an orange cookie in the shape of a pumpkin that my daughter swears they have been pushing for a few weeks. The best part is I get to "enjoy" it again tomorrow. I am very grateful it is so cheap b/c I would really be angry if I spent a fortune on it.

I was completely oblivious at how people there see us until now. We are a freak show on the move in our worst times and the information booth on fostercare and adoption in our best. We received so much attention by strangers that have "heard" about us through various staff members and students. Given our celebrity status, I will try not to embarrass the kids and wear nicer jeans and fix my hair. I mean had I known I was the local spokeswoman for state adoption I would have addressed this earlier. I work so hard at making the kids look presentable that I do not have a lot of time for myself. They claim I make it look easy, HA! This is not easy, but I love it. Several moms commented on how tired I looked from chasing all the kids around so I will need to address the dark circles under my eyes as well. If they only knew this is the rested me. LOL

Crazy Lying and Toilet Water

Mornings are rushed here and most are decent. I run around and call the time left to a bunch of kids that can't count and have no idea what I am talking about. I discovered this only a few days ago and that they only understand by how loud and frequent I am that they should hurry. Too funny! I give them 35 minutes to get dressed, fake make their beds, brush their teeth and hair, get their snacks and put on a coat and shoes. We make it every day. We do have meltdowns but I move on and they have a choice, to get themselves ready or go to school in any stage of dressed they choose. I will not lie, they are not always as pristine as I had dreamed. Some mornings someone may mess up their hair, refuse to wear shoes, brush their teeth, or carry a book bag. I try to catch every detail as we step out the door but when they refuse, I ignore that detail and head out the door. This causes one of two things to happen, meltdown or they fix it at the bus stop. Either way, not my problem.

This morning was different. E caught D dipping the giant cup of toothbrushes in the toilet! Saw her! A had seen her do it before and never said anything. OMG! I was so grossed out. I thought it was an accident and addressed it as such but when D shut down, I knew. How could any child think this is ok? How many times has she done this? Then I had to run around and find replacements for them. So I found 2 new ones and they had to share until I can get new ones or clean the new ones she just infected with who knows what. My son tells me he wants his own b/c it's gross to share. This from the kid who drinks the sink water everyone has spit into. I explained it was better than brushing your teeth with toilet water. Eventually he agreed and sort of brushed his teeth. Of course she denied all of it and called E and A liars. They were upset about her calling them names but I told them it was a step up from being called an A-hole last night by the same child. They smiled and off to the bus they went. I swear it is all in how you present things to them. LOL

The Weekend Off, Almost

I have the nuttiest MIL ever. She actually asks to have all the kids spend the night and to babysit at our house. Well, this weekend I asked her to watch them for a few hours so I could help out my husband on a shopping strip he is building. She explains she will do it but at her house from Friday to Saturday afternoon. OK.

Saturday comes and I go to work and royally embarrass myself while joking around with my favorite sister who volunteered to go with me and get it done quicker. So her and I are doing the silly crazy sister thing we do every time we are together and I hear this 80s rock song come on and start singing into a broom handle. I know you have all done it but I was not aware that one of the guys that works for my husband was on a ladder in another room and could see and hear me. My sister was fully aware and allowed me to continue and even encouraged me. So when it was over I told her I hated that kind of music b/c it reminded me of our high school years when we were drug addicts and whores. I was kidding but I did not know I had an audience and she died laughing and pointed to him. I wanted to die! My poor husband will have to live with the hushed talk about my "past". I tried to talk to the guy and explain but he was very uncomfortable and just kept working. How do you take that back? You can't! I was joking and my sister starting calling all my other sisters and mother to tell them what I did. I am never going to live this one down.

On the way home I had a tire blow out and my husband had to come back and get me. That's not the big deal, he would do it anytime w/o question. The fact that my sister and I argued with him about which way was faster and lost was huge. He won only b/c my tire blew! Two extremely handsome men tried to help us but my spare had a flat as well. It took a few minutes to discover this and call for his assistance so he went on and on about how he was already home when we called and we probably just made up the gorgeous men. I hate it when he wins but especially when he thinks he won and I did!

I ended up getting home late and called my MIL to get the kids and she asked to keep them again. I agreed being exhausted and regretted it the minute I hung up. The next morning I called to go get them and she was heading into town to go to her MILs for brunch and would bring them by after. All hell broke loose in the van right after that and my son flipped out and had to be restrained by her for the first time. He went off and she met me on the side of the road to pick up a few of the kids. The rest went with her to the Fire Station and to Gma Dot's to eat. They were exhausted when they got home but were extremely well behaved the rest of the day.

HAve I mentioned I am REALLY excited about Disney?

Halloween

We had a blast! We quickly discovered the kids had never gone door to door trick or treating and had visited their local church in the past. They were not aware that this was possible and soon realized it was much more profitable for them to do it this way. The greedy little things loaded up and became very protective of their loot. They claimed this was better than Christmas.

Our oldest was a witch and believe me it suits her. P was a dead bride and wanted blood and gore everywhere. D was a clown in a costume my mother made her. Our son, A, was a ghost but couldn't see so he kept taking of his hood and it looked like he was in a white dress. He claimed he didn't care what he looked like they were still giving him candy. The three little girls were Ariel, Cinderella, and Snow White and they were adorable. My husband and I were vampires and the kids were so excited to see us dress up, too. We always do but this was a new concept to them.